Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 196,314,459 Issue: 905 | 26th day of Relaxing, Y22
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Your questions answered!


Read the answers to the most commonly asked Neopets questions this week in the Editorial section. Each week the most popular questions will be answered by one of the creators of Neopets, so keep checking back to stay updated.


Quote of the Week


The month of hunting, 18th day, penned in fine blue ink. A ghost-coloured Techo sighs, slumped upon a creaky and well-worn wooden chair. His attire, equally as drab as his surroundings, makes him look as though he's becoming one, melding into his environment. Glossy eyes fight lids shuttering, like docking bay door blocking off the cold harshness of outer space. With a crackling stretch, the Techo attempts to write within the journal pad.


How to Maths: The Food Club Edition



What is ROI? What does TER mean? Stephanie interviews Phoenix, the Food Club pro. Food Club, as many Neopians know, is a betting game that runs daily. There are five arenas of four pirates each. Every afternoon, the pirates compete to see who can eat the most. One pirate emerges victorious in each arena. Players bet on the pirates to try and win NP. If a pirate priced at 2:1 wins and you put 1000 NP on him, for example, you win back 2 times of what you bet, in this case 2 x 1000 = 2000 NP.1 If your pirate is priced at 13:1 and he wins, then you get 13000 NP. You can also mix and match pirates from different arenas such that if all of the pirates in your bet win, then you get, for example, 2:1 x 13:1 = 26:1 = 26000 NP. If one or more of the pirates in your bet loses, then you get nothing. Generally, 2:1 pirates win more often than pirates priced at...

Awkward Social Functions and YOU!



As much as many of us would rather hole up in the familiarity, safety and solitude of our Neohomes, sometimes we must step out and interact with other Neopians in social functions, like parties, banquets, swanky business meetings, not-so-swanky and somewhat boring business meetings, sales pitches, subpar talent shows, and recognition ceremonies for folks you vaguely know, for some reason or other. But not all such functions are made equal, which means not all of them are fun and smooth sailing, especially when they have absolutely nothing to do with sailing. Sure, you can have good food, friendly company, excellent music, the best venue Neopoints can buy…but sometimes, not even those are enough to keep a social function from becoming – gasp – an awkward social function. How do you know it just took a turn for the awkward?

Which Neopian Book Best Fits You and Your Neopet?


Which Piece of Neopian Literature Fits You and Your Neopet? Have you ever thought about ALL the books in Neopia? Have you ever wondered which book would be best for you and your pet to read together? There are thousands of diverse, unique books around Neopia. How do you decide which ones are best to read? We all want our pets to be smarter, but sometimes deciding which book to purchase can be a daunting task. I have created, through years of extensive research and test groups, a simple quiz to figure out which book would be the perfect fit for you and your beloved pet.

Other Stories
"Learn To Code: A Lenny's Space Station Book Review" by superkathiee
Hi! I’m Ahmik, and I’m a Lenny who loves the pursuit of knowledge. My owner, Kat, loves to tell us stories about how she learned to code twelve years ago when she became a Neopian because she learned HTML and CSS to create beautiful lookups, pet pages, and more! I love listening to her stories about how she learned, and I decided that I would go on a mission, to go where no Lenny has gone before: behind the scenes at the Virtupets Space Station. As we know, the Virtupets Space Station was home to Dr. Sloth and his evil minions in Y2. Now that it’s an amusement arcade, Neopians are free to visit and have fun playing games, visiting relics of Neopian history, and talking to the Grundos that keep the place running...

"Sophie's Leave Me Alone Notice" by liouchan
At the edge of the swamp that is home to Sophie the Swamp Witch, there stands a vine-wreathed sign featuring instructions to leave her alone in bold lettering. Behind the sign, forty pages of bark-like paper unfold like an accordion. PRIVATE SWAMP. KEEP OUT. NO TRESPASSING. Trespassers will be zapped on sight. Trespass: intransitive verb. To enter unlawfully upon the swamp of another, more specifically Sophie. To make an unwarranted or uninvited incursion into said swamp, which your incursions are guaranteed to be. So don't do that. Keeping out is exactly like coming in, except that you don't, which should be well within the realm of your capabilities. Disclaimer: the owner of the swamp declines any and all responsibility for what may happen to dunderheads...

"Notes from Kreludor" by therainbowsheep
“Gotcha!” Talyca zoomed up behind Jemilat and plucked the glasses off the eventide jubjub’s scrunched up face. “Do you think these make me look smart? Do you think they’ll magically make me be smart? If I’m being honest, my grades could use the boost this semester.” Jemilat ruefully shook her head at her sister’s antics. The woodland korbat was fluttering in loops around Neopia Central’s golden paths. “Stop messing around and focus! And give those back to me, I actually need them! You’re so silly.” The pair of siblings were on their way to the book shop to pick up the books on their reading list for the semester. Jem, the ever studious overachiever was looking forward to classes resuming while Tal, the hyperactive daydreamer was already mourning the loss of vacation time.


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Great stories!


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Which Neopian Book Best Fits You and Your Neopet?
Have you ever thought about ALL the books in Neopia? Have you ever wondered which book would be best for you and your pet to read together?

by skittlesrock10292

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Under The Sea: Literature of Maraqua
Today we are exploring Maraquan literature! in collaboration with weet_woo

by sessduh

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Royal Pain: Neopian Literature
Brawn over brains

by winner19955

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The thrill of one more win
Let the games begin! Art by chantili_doce

by chasingshadow

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Out of Line
At least he's honest about their farming ethic.

by narutoluvr935



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