|teh 1337est n00zpaper
||Issue: 285 | 30th day of Running, Y9
|Lucky Everything"You didn't! That's the third time this week!" Pinc cried. Crystal had won a Spotted and Speckled Paint Brush in the last two days...|
|The Secret Diary of Danner CarnahanWe were supposed to spend the night at the inn in Hope River. But guess what, we're not. Glorious leader, also known as Sir Jeran Borodere, lead us down the wrong road...|
|The Tomamu Dilemma"It's super-simple! All we have to do is lay out a blanket, put up a sign that says, 'Leave your Tomamu to be cared for here', and play with other people's Petpets all day!"|
|OveranalyzeSean slumped in his chair. It was always this way. He always tried to help people. Sure, he realized that sometimes he got sidetracked...|
|Welcome To MondayA day filled with more misery than every grey pet in Neopia combined. From the second you wake up you know it's going to be horrible...|
|The Secret Diary of Laurana Rose- READ IT AND DIE!So, I just got back from my first ever visit to the lab ray. Um... yeah...|
|When Empty Bags AttackI reached into my bag to fetch the neopoints and my mouth fell open when I found my bag was empty! Panicking, I desperately searched every pocket I had. I knew I had brought fifty neopoints with me, but where had they gone?|
|Peas and Carrots: a Soupy Situation"MWAHAHAHAHA!" cackled the devious Chia. "I have done it! I have found the evilest way to avenge the fall of the Zebinator and finally dominate Neopia!"|
|The Elderly Delinquents: Rumble at Roo Oaks"What's so darn funny?" grumbled Manny with a huff of annoyance. "You kids today, all smiles and no hard work..."|
|The BanisterWho knew what Fyora did in her spare time...|
|Disease of the Citadel"Darigan is dying, sir..."|
|Can't Go Wrong With a Classic"It's April Fool's Day!" the Mynci declared, jumping around in anticipation. "You didn't forget, did you?!"|
|A Negg Tale"Yes, I read about that in the paper," said Lorissa quickly. "The Queen wants to remove one type of faerie quest from operation, and rumor has it that now all of the different elements are getting ready to have a big fight for their right to stay..."|
|Smelly Protests"Your Highness!" Smelly called up to the flying fighter. "Please, stop! We must discuss ways to end this terrible war!"|
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Faerie Wars: Tactics
Can't figure out which camp to support in Neopia's latest plot, Faerie Wars? No worries. Your trusty Neopian Times reporter has done all the dirty work for you. I've collated the most recent information about each camp in an effort to guide you and your pets into making the right decision. Before I start (and just in case you've been living in a closet these past few days), here's a brief rundown of what's been happening. The Faeries are in an uproar...
|Faerie Wars: Tactics|
Can't figure out which camp to support in Neopia's latest plot, Faerie Wars? No worries. Your trusty Neopian Times reporter has done all the dirty work for you.
|Tangled Up in Blu: Part Eleven|
King Kelpbeard took in the tired and slightly mangled form of the island Gelert. "You will forever be venerated in Maraqua as a hero, as will your companions..."