teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 193,843,975 Issue: 718 | 5th day of Awakening, Y18
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Avatars That Will Never, Ever Happen!

I was cracking jokes on the Neoboards one day, talking about new avatars that would be absolutely ridiculous and completely unlikely. The other players were laughing along with me, proposing random and hilarious new avatars that are so silly that they'll never exist. Inspired by our merriment, I thought I'd write a Neopian Times article all about the avatars that will never, ever happen!

by indulgences
The Deserted Fairground's Top 10 Spooky Foods

The Deserted Fairground is not the most popular tourist destination in Neopia, especially not for its cuisine. Spooky Foods is a small tattered Pink stall ran by a rather spooky looking Bruce, but don’t let that fool you as this is home to some of the best delicacies available in all of Neopia, as long as you’re not too squeamish and willing to try a variety of different foods which don’t exactly look that mouth-watering.

by princess__neo277
Behind the Price

Prices. They are argued over, considered, loved and calculated every single day. But what makes the prices in Neopia? Why can we get one stamp for 10 NP but another costs us 300 million?

by kelly_d60
Is a Mall Right for You?

There is also another option that many may not consider: whether or not to join a mall. It can be a difficult decision to make, so consider these things before committing.

by katehoughtonbeckett
The Definitive Ranking of All Neopian Coffee Shops

Don’t have enough time to brew your own coffee at home? Consistently disappointed by your vain attempts to recreate your favorite coffee drinks? Need to go on a budget because of all the whipped cream you keep buying for said recreated drinks? I can’t help you with the last thing, because this article is all about how you should spend your money. Specifically, for spending it on coffee.

by bizniscorg
Petpet Matching for the Permanently Indecisive

Have you ever looked at a pet, paired with their petpet, and thought "They're perfect together!" only to do it yourself and find that "perfect" match to grow stale in a short time, maybe it just didn't "work" with their character, or maybe you just flat out decided you didn't like it? Ladies and Gentleman, I am here to state loud and clear you are not alone.

by fire_earth_aqua__77
Scientific Highlights: The Crokabek

Little is known about a majority of the Petpet species living in Neopia. For some, such as the Crokabek, this knowledge gap is particularly large. What is considered common knowledge in terms of their biology, including that of their disease vector status is, at best, a partial truth.

by parody_ham
“Like the Battledome, but a Bit Friendlier”: An Investigation of Secret Competitions

But before I could get up to leave the coffee shop to find inspiration for another poem to submit to the Poetry Contest, I witnessed a strange and even unusual occurrence. I was unprepared for what happened as an Elderlygirl Xweetok ordering at the counter, met the gaze of a small Krawk who was entering the premises.

by peacelovebliss
 
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"Food For Lunch!" by tallydepp
It was busy, bustling day in Neopia Central. Everywhere you looked, neopets and their petpets, dressed in their finest clothing, were enjoying themselves, most laden down with shopping bags, most laughing or smiling. "I wish WE could afford to go shopping," a small Altachuck said dreamily. The Altachuck's owner, a Vandagyre called SailorLee, smiled fondly down at her beloved petpet. "Oh, Lunch," she replied, "you wouldn't like shopping, you're far too timid for those busy shops. Look at how everyone is pushing past one another, just to get the most expensive things on sale! No, you wouldn't like it one bit." They were sitting on the grass by the fountain of the Neopian Neolodge. A crowd had formed outside the nearby post office. Someone cried, "I hear they're restocking the Court Dancer stamp!" Another exclaimed, "That stamp is worth nearly two million neopoints!" "Move out of the way! I need that stamp!" a third boomed. The post office doors swung open, and the timid Altachuck's eyes widened in both fear and nervous excitement as the crowd stampeded forward amid squeals and shouts and cheers.




Other Stories


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Usuki Singing Stars #29: Sparkles Be Not Proud
“Scary! Look! Look! Look!” Sparkles chanted, rushing into the living room. The pink Bruce eagerly waved an envelope over her head. “Look at what I got in the mail today!!!” she gasped. “Don’t tell me you actually got fan mail,” Scary groaned. The purple Bruce flipped through her fashion magazine, not bothering to look up. “Or is it another NT rejection letter?”

by downrightdude

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Not Always as it Seems
Lilly the Ixi grew up as a wealthy pet. She always had the most expensive customizations,her stats were always on top and she had her wings professionally groomed so that they'd glisten as she flew across Neopia. Even the Faeries were jealous of her beauty.

by extreme_butterfly

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Chronicles of a Caped Crusader: Days Yet to Pass: Part One
Chloe breathed deeply the morning air as she closed the front door behind herself. It was a glorious late spring morning and the air was fragrant and warm, with just a slight tinge of humidity. She walked down the front path to the sidewalk. As she reached the final step, she was cut off by one her sisters hopping through the shrubs lining the walkway.

by kristykimmy

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Sir Tormund Ellis: A Documentary: Part Three
Tor was the first person I saw after I had fallen from Faerieland, and I'm honestly really glad about that. Partly because a huge part of me was worried that everyone else in the kingdom had been possessed the way my mentor Seradar was, but also because, honestly, I don't know how I would have survived that first monster attack without his help.

by theschizophrenicpunk

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Bite It As Hard As You Can!
Ow.

Also by chiefgrumpy.

by joslucca3000


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Party Zafara
Balloons! That could certainly make a party pop!

by dash_p



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