|teh 1337est n00zpaper
||Issue: 296 | 15th day of Relaxing, Y9
|Dear Crabby: I'm A Superstar, You're NotSo now I'm not only the crabbiest Mutant Lenny advice columnist, I'm the richest Mutant Lenny advice columnist! All bow down to my awesome might!|
|The Art of War: A Guide to Defending MeridellInvasion of Meridell consists of ten missions, the constituents of which are three battles. The goal of each battle for you, Hero of Meridell, is to convert all the invaders to your side while keeping your villages safe. |
|So You Want an Electric Pet?Not that I'm saying having an Electric pet is a bad thing. They can be quite... exciting... at times.|
|A Neopian's Guide to Modern TransportationTry to imagine life without any kind of transportation. No bicycles, no Eyrie Cabs, no ferries for crossing cities...|
|The Neopian Spending DisordersIs it because helping other people makes you feel great? Is it because you can't resist all those cute, but useless, items?|
|Edna's Shadow - The New ChallengeLiving in the Haunted Woods all those years has certainly gotten to her and she now has a shadow following her around and helping her to collect ingredients for all her freaky potions. You play as Edna AND her shadow.|
|Plan a Trip to the ColosseumThis way, you will have someone to talk with about Yooyuball during and after game day. You can even have a friendly debate about who is going to win (and by friendly, I mean no Battledome weapons).|
|An Interview With the Kiko Lake Altador Cup TeamVyshan: Everyone has weaknesses, and of all the ones I had to choose from, I think it would definitely be inexperience. I'd rather be inexperienced than slow and have poor reflexes, wouldn't you? |
|The Altador Cup II!How are you EVER going to win a trophy if you don't have enough people?|
|Kreludor, Kreludor, Wherefore Art Thou, Kreludor?They were on their way to the stadium, but they got caught in an endless loop and couldn't get back to the ship - erm, the moon.|
|The Art of YooyusI am talking about none other than the Seven Yooyus of the Altador Cup!|
|Kreludor's Absence - Mistake or Master Plot?That's right, what this reporter has uncovered is a horrifying truth behind the absence of Kreludor from the year's major sporting event...|
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TNT has released an awesome new game, entitled "Edna's Shadow". It has immediately become a hit, and Neopians everywhere are talking about it! This game features that spooky witch, Edna the Zafara. Living in the Haunted Woods all those years has certainly gotten to her and she now has a shadow following her around and helping her to collect ingredients for all her freaky potions. You play as Edna AND her shadow...
It seemed like forever before the rope grew taunt, suspending the Wocky in mid-air. As she dangled in the space, she mentally criticized herself...
|Abandoned: Part One|
She felt the weight of Belinda's arm as it settled around her shoulders and shrugged it off. She didn't want to be pitied; she just wanted to go home. If only she could...
|Further Tales of Woe: Part Eight|
"Then... you're Bruno's little brother, right?" she continued, not seeing the way Reggie bristled at the mention of his brother. Stiffly, Reggie nodded another agreement...