White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 99,729,623 Issue: 198 | 8th day of Swimming, Y7
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by really_awesome_d00d


"But Zen! You promised!"

     "Oh, shut up!"

     Angrily I whirled around to face my moronic little brother, Kevin, who was staring at me with a look of disappointment in his round eyes. Boy, he was being a real pain today! Dealing with his relentless attempts to annoy me and his constant nagging was enough to bear; having to take him on "an adventure" to Neopia Central was unbearable. You'd think that after that whiny little Shoyru persuaded Mom into getting a Halloween Paint Brush for him, he'd be quiet for a little while. But no. Of course not. That's not enough for him.

     After getting painted something befitting his obnoxiously bubbly personality, bratty little Kevin decides it's time to get rid of his old Slorg, Mipsy, and get a new petpet that'll suit his tastes better. Mipsy was a Mutant Slorg that had been in the family for longer than anyone could remember. Not only did Mom happily auction off the old petpet, but she made me escort him to go get a new pet to "suit his tastes."

     And now we had stopped only ten feet away from the Dwarf Tree in our front yard, bickering like… well, children.

     "I'm going to tell Mommy," Kevin warned, as if that would sway me. His red tail flicked in amusement, as if he expected me to fall on my knees and beg for him not to.

     "Oh no, Mommy," I mumbled sarcastically. "C'mon, you moron. We don't have time for distractions." Anyways, I was looking forward to getting home so I could practice some more GoGoGo! with my friend Lane. Knowing the time it would take to get there, I had decided to leave an hour in advance to make sure we had enough time to play.

     Groaning about how I was going to pay for insulting him, Kevin whizzed forward and caught up to me in a matter of seconds. Luckily, our house wasn't too far from the petpet shop. It wasn't the shop that was concerning me. It was what would happen inside of it. Knowing Kevin, he'd probably wreck the place, break into tears, and blame it on me. Of course it would take just a glance for Mom to send me to my room, while I fumed for hours at my mindless excuse for a sibling.

     "So, what are you planning on buying?" I asked, trying to get the little booger into a proactive mood so we could get in and out effortlessly. Little did I know it would be much more than that.

     Kevin stared at me with a stubborn gleam in his eyes, and I gave him a frown and a sigh. "Okay, you can talk," I said, remembering I had told him to shut up earlier. He was constantly taking everything so literally just to tick me off.

     "Well, I was planning on getting something wild, something zany," he began with a great enthusiasm he had kept masked. I groaned.

     Like we need another hyper addition to the family, I thought.

     "The petpet shop!" Kevin shouted with delight, pointing ahead as if pointing out the oasis at the end of a scorching desert. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

     "Oh my, we've been walking for two minutes now," I groaned sarcastically. "What a nice end to our long and difficult journey."

     "Be quiet," Kevin squealed, zipping forward, purposely knocking me in the back with his pitchfork.

     "Ah!" I shouted, rubbing the spot tenderly; he'd already made that the target of most of his little "love pokes," as my mom likes to call them. "Love pokes"? More like "hate pokes." "I'm not going to help you, you little brat, if you do that again!"

     Kevin slumped to the ground, pitchfork nestled in the crook of his arms. "Oh, Zen, you know I'm just joking with you," he said, his voice so layered with honey it's hard to resist… well, for people who aren't used to Kevin's sickly sweet I'm-so-sorry-please-forgive-me voice. For me, it didn't cut it.

     "Yeah right," I mumbled inaudibly so that the Halloween Shoyru could not hear, and grabbing him by the hand I picked him up and stumbled into the petpet shop.

     Above me, a little copper bell emitted a ting. The friendly Usul shopkeeper was pouring Spardel chow into the kennel of Spardels. Surprisingly, there were very few customers in the shop, and as I looked around I could see an abundance of petpets. It was pretty neat looking at all the different species, but Kevin was completely taken aback.

     Descending to the ground (a rare thing for him), Kevin propped his pitchfork up against an unused portion of the wall and stared out in wonder and awe at the petpets around him. Our ears were filled with soft hums, sharp yowls, comforting purrs, gentle meows, and sweet birdsongs. I'd never seen Kevin so calm and collected before, but an unnatural, devious red gleam glimmered in his eyes for a moment before fading. I questioned whether or not I saw it at all.

     "Hello," the Usul said, breaking my thoughts, as she stepped over to us with a grin on her face. "How can I help you?"

     "I'm - I mean, we're here to get a petpet for my brother, Kevin," I said, pointing out the little moron. As if I needed to point him out. The Usul kept smiling.

     "Hi," Kevin murmured, staring at the ground, putting on his best cute face. It was truly pathetic.

     "How cute," the Usul declared, beaming. Kevin smirked, victorious. I hid a groan. "So, what petpet do you think you want?"

     "Well, I want something like me. Kind of energetic, fun-loving, willing to get into trouble-"

     "'Willing to get into trouble?' Hm, I think I might know what you want." The Usul beckoned to us with a delighted paw and bounced happily down the aisle. I followed out of curiosity; Kevin, meanwhile, was enthralled by the aspect of getting what he wanted. For some reason that wasn't much of a surprise.

     As we followed the Usul, we passed by kennels and cages of all shapes and sizes. One held a bawling Kadoatie, shrieking in a way that made my skin crawl; another held a bunch of yipping Spardels who were all running into each other and the bars that contained them. In a small birdcage a small family of Beakadoodles chirped merrily, oblivious of their surroundings. Beneath them a Turmac poked and growled at them, pressing his scaly paws to his ears to block out the noises. A Weewoo twittered nearby, staring brightly out at us. A Reptillior hissed as we approached, and a family of Yullies dashed into the shadows of their cage.

     "Here," the Usul said at last, pointing to a small, glass-paneled box. "Exactly what you're looking for. Something that's willing to get into-"

     "An Angelpuss?!" Kevin shouted, appalled. He crouched down next to the small gathering of the white-faced, whiskered kittens who were nonchalantly grooming themselves. "They're neat freaks, aren't they? Doesn't sound like something that wants to get dirty, inside or out."

     "Not the Angelpi," the Usul said, shaking her head. She opened up the box; the Angelpi stared up at her with bright, star-studded eyes. She reached into their number to grab one out.

     What I heard next can only be described as a squeal, a discontented squeal on the edge of a horrible shriek. The squeal faded and whatever the Usul was holding began to hiss violently; within the crowd of Angelpi, who now looked horrified. I could tell that it was putting up a good fight. The Usul seemed to be struggling to hold on to it. Eventually, the hissing turned to spitting, and by the time the Usul managed to pull whatever it was out of the cage she looked like a nervous wreck.

     In her hands was a squalling pink Angelpuss - and yet, it was not an Angelpuss. It was squatter and lacked a halo; instead, two pointy red horns poked from its fluffy pink fur. It looked unkempt; its whiskers were all bent and crooked and its yellow eyes flashed maliciously at us. The benevolent eyes of the Angelpi staring up at us made me certain that this was no Angelpuss. A tail just as red as the creature's horns extended from its back and swung idly in the air, tipped with an arrowhead-shaped spine at the end. Its feet were not paws but orange claws, which made me very uncomfortable.

     What in the name of Fyora was this? I'd never seen anything like it before in my life. The horrible petpet continued hissing, although it calmed down considerably after seeing Kevin. My little brother was staring at it with a glossy adoration in his eyes. I groaned, and this time, I did not try to hide it.

     "It's… It's a… A-"

     "A Devilpuss," the Usul stated calmly, seemingly ignoring the kitten who was now shrieking wildly at the sound of her voice. "The polar opposite of an Angelpuss. Where an Angelpuss might store love, it stores hate. An Angelpuss's benevolence is its malevolence; an Angelpuss's compassion is its mercilessness. They might be fickle, ill-tempered, overly clever, smart alecks, rude, and, at times, evil, but if you can manage to train one you will find no petpet more loyal or loving than it."

     Kevin reached out a hand to touch the Devilpuss; it hissed in protest as the hand extended, but did not explode in rage when the Shoyru's hand brushed against the pink tuft of hair on its head. "There, there now," he cooed, "I'm going to take you home."

     Well, I guess that meant it was settled. "How much are you asking for it?" I asked the Usul.

     The Usul didn't hear me; she was too busy staring with her jaw agape at Kevin, who was now effortlessly stroking the now purring Devilpuss.

     "Miss?" I asked, and she snapped back to attention.

     "Oh, sorry," she murmured apologetically. "What did you say?"

     "How much are you asking for it?"

     "Oh, you can keep him for free!" the Usul shouted back almost instantly with a sense of delight in her voice. "It's obvious that your brother and that Devilpuss were a made match. They'll do fine together."

     "Thanks so much!" Kevin exclaimed, grinning widely. The Devilpuss now was purring contentedly in his arms as he stroked it rhythmically. "Don't worry, I'll take good care of it."

     "Good," the Usul said with a wide grin. It was almost as if she were happy to get rid of the creature. Then I realized, Maybe she is? It made sense. She obviously didn't really like the Devilpuss all that much. "Oh, and if you were wondering, it's a girl. We never named her."

     "How about… Angel! I know, Angel!" Kevin said, as if the name were the most inventive, original, fitting name he'd ever concocted. The Devilpuss continued purring. "There, there, Angel."

     "What a great name," the Usul said hurriedly. "Well, I'm about to close up shop. See you all later!"

     "Goodbye!" Kevin shouted, snatching his pitchfork up and leaving the shop with a smile. I was horrified and flabbergasted.

     Little did I know that letting Kevin take the Devilpuss was the worst mistake I'd ever made.


     "Okay, Zen, I've left some pizza pasties for you and Kevin when you get hungry… I shouldn't be gone for long, I'm only out to go grocery shopping with Rosalin…"

     "Can I invite Lane?" I asked hopefully as my mom gathered her things to step out the door. She looked at me blankly for a moment, sighed, and shook her head.

     "I won't be gone for very long, Zen, so the answer is no. Besides, it'll be good bonding between you two. Well, goodbye!"

     With that, my mother slammed the door to our Neohome shut, leaving me alone with Kevin, the house… and Angel.

     Thus far, I had intensely disliked the Devilpuss. The third night after buying her, I had a coughing fit because the air was so thick with her detestable pink hairs. It wasn't uncommon to find her crawled up in a box in my room, rummaging through my things and leaving her mark over everything. Wherever she went, remnants of pink hairs followed. Everything soon became intoxicated by the presence of the Devilpuss; I even found some pink hairs on my toothbrush. But that was only the tip of the iceberg.

     Angel was prone to bouts of yowling in the middle of the night, just loud enough to wake me up but not loud enough to wake up anyone else. I couldn't understand how Kevin could sleep through it, but he did anyways. After waking up from her incessant cries, it was impossible to go to sleep until she stopped, which could be anywhere from ten minutes to two hours later.

     This wasn't mentioning the fact that she absolutely hated my own petpet, Bone. Bone was a white Anubis I had spent months saving up for and I finally got to buy on my birthday. He had a little corner of the room to sleep in and I took care of him as if he was a child. However, Angel disrupted the peace. She left her scent all over his bed, hissed at him viciously whenever he approached, and the unrest between the two was likely to explode into fierce battles without warning. Within a few days Bone was covered in nasty nips and scratches, which he nursed unhappily.

     My mother didn't like Angel that much, either, but not nearly as much as my loathing for the rosy Devilpuss. She didn't have to live with Angel waking her up in the middle of the night, although she did have to deal with the Devilpuss's lack of affection towards her and her horrible pink hairs coating everything we owned and held dear. It soon became necessary for her to wash all the plates and silverware before we ate, just in case Angel had decided to romp around the cabinets.

     However, the pink menace had not yet pulled off anything that you would truly consider "bad." But there was an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach that soon something bad would happen. Little did I know how right I was.

     "Kevin? Where are you?"

     "I'm in the backyard, teaching Angel how to roll over."

     Pffffff. Angel? Roll over? She was probably more likely to politely apologize for the havoc she'd wreaked on the house. Of course, I didn't say this aloud to Kevin. Anything now could be used against me in the court of Mom; she'd become increasingly irritable after Angel's "debut" into the family.

     I walked out into the backyard. A cool breeze blew softly through the air, whistling in my ears. For a moment, I was at peace. The howls of Angel, however, quickly drowned the serene whispering of the wind. I groaned.

     "It doesn't seem like she very much likes that," I commented, watching as Kevin grabbed Angel by her sides and flipped her over onto her back. The entire time, the Devilpuss looked both terrified and horribly angry. She was hissing and spitting ferociously, putting up quite a fight. I stood and watched.

     "Ah, never mind," Kevin finally said, letting go of the Devilpuss. Angel scampered off behind a bench, where she flicked her tail at us, vexed. Malice shone in her yellow eyes. I avoided her unwavering gaze, and turned to Kevin.

     "Mom went to go shopping," I said bluntly. "She left some pizza pasties for us to eat in case we got hungry."

     "Mmmmm, I love pizza pasties," Kevin said with a smile. "Especially-"

     "Are you hungry?" I inquired, cutting him off. "I don't want them to get cold." Frankly, I was in a bad mood, and hopefully a nice, warm meal would lift my spirits.

     "Sure, I'll eat," Kevin said, glad to have an excuse to eat. The fact that we would dine on pizza pasties only furthered his excitement about our lunch. We stepped into the kitchen, leaving the door open so that Angel could come in when she wanted to.

     We munched on our pasties in silence at the kitchen table, contemplating and thinking with utmost concentration. Well, at least I was. I soon discovered Kevin was only staring really hard at the wallpaper. Needless to say, we did not even budge when we heard Angel slip through the doorway and hastily make her way to my mother's bedroom.

     We were only alerted to her presence when we heard something smash.

     "What was that?!" I asked, shocked, standing up from my seat and finishing off my pizza pasty. Kevin, equally confused, followed suit. We looked at the doorway of my mom's bedroom, where the sound had originated. And suddenly, it came to me.


     "It's that darned Devilpuss!" I cried, dashing over to the bedroom of my mother. Angel was sitting calmly on the bed, her cold yellow eyes transfixed on my frame, shaking with rage. Kevin followed close behind, mumbling to himself about disciplining her.

     Wordlessly I glanced at the ground. My mother's prized bedside table lamp lay in shattered pieces on the plush carpet. I stared at Angel. She smirked back at me, triumphant. Without thought I lunged for her, intent on snatching her up - behind me, Kevin let out a cry - and I felt myself fall onto the bed. Angel zipped away with a hiss, launching herself onto the dresser.

     "Angel, stop!" Kevin shouted, and for the first time in his life he seemed remotely serious. Angel stared at him with that same challenging gaze; it was as if she was pondering whether or not he would actually make a move. And, like me, he did, pouncing at the Devilpuss even more swiftly than I had.

     I heard Angel let out a snickering hiss, and then lunge from the dresser with the force of a Dung Catapult. The dresser shuddered, then, in a split-second, toppled to the ground. The crack of the wood and the fact that the dressers' contents were now spread across the floor drove me into shocked panic.

     "Mom is going to kill us!" I cried; Kevin looked like he was about to burst into tears. Above us, on the canopy of our mother's bed, Angel grinned and stared down at the both of us with that unfaltering glare. Her yellow eyes flashed maliciously. "Angel, I'm going to get you!"

     "No!" Kevin shouted, but it was too late. I lunged upwards; Angel tore through the canopy as if it were paper, landing with her claws bared on the comforter of Mom's bed. With a delighted shriek she began tearing at it furiously, creating a large hole where its cotton interior spilled out. Like a cannonball the hissing Devilpuss launched itself at a portrait of Terror Mountain on the wall, reduced it to shreds, then bolted out of the room like a streak of rose-colored lightning.

     "After it!" I exclaimed in dismay, Kevin following after me as he sobbed bitterly. Figures my brother would be the first to crack.

     The realization of how much trouble we were both going to be in was so immense I did not even attempt to think about it. Instead, I realized I had to stop Angel before she wrecked the entire house.

     I only managed to see the end of her crimson tail disappear as she shot into the upstairs. Ruin was left in her wake. Three chairs at the kitchen table were knocked onto their sides; both sides of our favorite sofa were torn into. The books on the bookshelf were in disarray, and many lay scattered on the now torn up carpet. An end table lay on the ground. The lamp atop it lay nestled precariously in the carpet. A small mirror lay shattered at the opposite ends of the room, reflecting a thousand different aspects of my angry face.

     I heard a frightened yip coming from upstairs. Kevin, meanwhile, was bawling on the couch. I knew he wouldn't prove to be useful. "Bone!" I cried. "I'm coming! Just hold on!"

     I darted up the stairs, gazing in horror at the claw marks Angel managed to leave on the walls and the punched up, torn carpet. The wooden banister was scratched into; specks of its white paint lay dispersed across the carpet. My door looked like it had just weathered an acid rainstorm. Angel sat on my bed, staring off into the corner of my room where Bone liked to sleep.

     "You get away from him!" I shouted at the diabolical kitten, who turned to me with that horribly wicked grimace. With that, she leapt nimbly at Bone, who was whimpering in the corner. The white Anubis bolted into the bathroom; Angel pursued him doggedly. I shouted in terror as Angel effortlessly shattered the wall-length mirror, overturning the cup that held my toothbrush and jumping onto the tube of toothpaste. Thick mint-flavored gel splattered all over the counter. In the process, Angel flipped on the faucets.

     I scrambled to them off as the two petpets, now engaged in battle, tore across the upstairs. "Stop!" I cried futilely; of course, nothing happened. Angel rounded back into my bedroom, jumping onto my bookshelf. Bone lunged for her, hit the bookshelf, and caused my thoroughly ordered collection to fall to the floor. They ran around the upstairs again, and then shot downstairs like a blast from the lab ray.

     "Kevin, do some-"

     I would have finished, but I saw what circumstances I was now in. The room was a complete and total mess; my mother's bedroom was a complete and total mess; the upstairs was a complete and total mess. Bone sat whimpering pitifully outside. Angel lay sleeping peacefully, snuggled up against the slumbering form of Kevin. My mother stood in the open doorway, eyes aflame, arms akimbo. She dropped her grocery bags.

     I gulped.

     However, when her eyes fell upon Kevin, I suddenly realized the revenge I'd been waiting for so long to arrive had finally come.

     They were right. Revenge is sweet.

The End

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