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The Doughnutfruit Critic


by _l_t_e_

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We all know and love out bouncing Hasee friends Woogy and Jimmi. There they go, flying through the air with the help of their seesaw, grabbing at the doughnutfruits as they fly by. But what is so appealing about these simple fruits that our little petpet pals are willing to bounce around all day just to get their hands on some? Have Woogy and Jimmi really hit on something big? I decided to go on a tasting spree, sampling all the different doughnutfruits and sharing my discoveries about these mysterious fruits with the world. On to the tasting!

The Doughnutfruit - This is the most basic of doughnutfruits, the regular one. It has a nice sweet taste to it, but is rather simple when unadorned. When plain, I give it a 6 out of 10. A good tip when serving a regular doughnutfruit is to serve it with a nice light vanilla glaze.

The Yellow Doughnutfruit - Moving right along, we go to another one of Woogy and Jimmi's infamous doughnutfruits. The yellow doughnutfruit. It is by far the most common doughnutfruit to be grabbed by the Hasee pair. It tastes very similar to the regular doughnutfruit, yet much sweeter. When plain, it gets a solid 8 out of 10. A fine doughnutfruit indeed, and is in need of no extra topping. To serve, slice thinly and eat with a nice glass of red wine.

The Blue Doughnutfruit - Yet another one of our favorite doughnutfruits. This one has a much different taste than our previous doughnutfruits. It is not as much sweet, as it tastes like a fresh grown blueberry. Absolutely delicious. By far my favorite doughnutfruit yet. 9 out of 10. Serving tip: Cut into bite-size pieces, and serve in bowls with some warm, melted chocolate drizzled over the top.

The Green Doughnutfruit - Now this is indeed a strange doughnutfruit. Bite right in and you'll regret it. The green doughnutfruit has a very sour lime taste to it, and is more used as decoration than sustenance. For eating, it gets a measly 5 out of 10. But it can be used in many delicious ways. For example, try adding some grated green doughnutfruit to your next Greengage or Pineapple Breeze! Delightful!

The Purple Doughnutfruit - This is a fascinating doughnutfruit. Apparently this doughnutfruit has a rubbery covering on the outside, to protect from the elements when still on the tree. This makes it very difficult to prepare. But it is worth it. The purple doughnutfruit is very sweet, but with a sour tang to it. This is as good as the blue doughnutfruit! Another 9 out of 10. No serving tips needed, just peel and enjoy!

The Silver Doughnutfruit - Eating this right after that delicious purple doughnutfruit was a bit of a letdown. This doughnutfruit is very solid, almost as if it were made of real silver. The only truly edible part is the center, which has rather a dull flavor anyways. This doughnutfruit is not worth your Neopoints. 4 out of 10, in my book. Serving Tip: I don't really have one, except avoid at all costs!

The Golden Doughnutfruit - This doughnutfruit tastes infinitely better than the silver one, but is still lacking in a little pizzazz. Yet another sweet slice of fruit, but without the tang held by the purple doughnutfruit. I give it a decent 7 out of 10. As for serving, serving sliced with a light strawberry sauce is best.

The Rainbow Doughnutfruit - Amazing! Absolutely delicious! It is delightfully sweet, but also shares the same sour tang to it as our friend the purple doughnutfruit. A mix of all the best qualities of ever doughnutfruit. Do not balk at the price, dear readers. I have heard it is very difficult to farm, but produces the best doughnutfruit yet! 10 out of 10 man, 10 out of 10! No serving tips necessary!

The Chocolate Doughnutfruit - Nothing much to say here. A fine doughnutfruit, tastes like chocolate, with the consistency of an apple. Very nice. 8 out of 10, I'll give it. Serve with plenty of ice cold Kau milk!

The Sponge Doughnutfruit - If possible, I would prefer the silver doughnutfruit over this one! The sponge doughnutfruit has both the disturbing texture and taste of eating a sponge. Avoid at any price necessary. 3 out of 10, if not a 2 out of 10. I'm not giving any serving tips here; you shouldn't be eating it in the first place!

The Icy Doughnutfruit - This doughnutfruit is alright. It is certainly an improvement on the last one we sampled. It is rather hard on the outside, but do not be fooled. Let it simmer briefly in some hot water. The rock hard exterior coating will dissolve, leaving you with a fine doughnutfruit to munch on. 7 out of 10, for its exterior leaves much to be desired. As for serving, it would do well with any of the aforementioned sauces/toppings.

The Frosted Doughnut - Alright, even though I know it doesn't say 'doughnutfruit' in the name, it does say doughnut, and is indeed very similar to one. It has a nice flavor, though it can be a bit too powerful sometimes. A solid 7 out of 10 this almost-doughnutfruit-but-not-quite earns!

Serving tips: None right now. A fine treat for a hot summer day!

The Fish Doughnutfruit - Finally, the pièce de résistance, the fish doughnutfruit! The rarest and most expensive of all doughnutfruits, and worth every Neopoint! It has not a trace of the fishy taste implied by both name and appearance. It is a sweet and sour marvel, especially when cooked to perfection. A whopping 11 out of 10, if that is possible. As for serving, cut into thick slices and bake at 300 degrees for about 10-15 minutes, until a dark blue. It will look almost like a blue doughnutfruit. Serve hot, topped with a nice caramel sauce or plain.

So, I hope my advice will be of assistance the next time you see some doughnutfruits in the food shop! For more serving tips, see the book 'Gourmet Cooking For Your Pet'. It has some marvelous ideas within its pages. Other doughnutfruit memorabilia include the Rainbow Doughnutfruit Plushie, a soft toy imitation of your favorite treat, and Woogi and Jimmy Plushie Set, more plushies, this time of your favorite doughnutfruit-nabbing duo, the Hasee boys! If you have any question, I'm willing to answer!

Until next time, this is the Doughnutfruit Critic, signing off!

I'd like to thank deedeedoughdough for her article-inspiring gallery! Thanks! Feel free to drop me a Neomail!

 
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