Exclusive: Captain Threelegs Unveiled
Dear fellow Neopians, I'm Wolfie, reporter of the Neopian Times. This is my
account of the life-changing day that me and my friend Scatch went to Krawk Island,
the pirate-filled region of Neopia, and had an exclusive interview with Captain
Threelegs, notorious ex-pirate and creator/teacher at the Swashbuckling Academy...
Me: Well Scatch, we've arrived at Krawk Island. Time to get rolling! Let's
head for The Swashbuckling Academy!
Scatch: Aye aye Cap'n! *bites a dubloon* Phooey!
Me: Cut it out Scatch, we're supposed to be snooping, not letting everybody
find out about our presence!
*Scatch and I reach the Academy without incident, unless you count Scatch's
now sore mouth and loose tooth!*
Me: Okay Scatch, this is the big thing! We're going to be famous!
Scatch: Wow! Famous... Wait a second... how are we going to do that?
Me: (exasperated) Shut it Scatch! Why did I have to get stuck with you of all
Neopians, a wacky Blumaroo who thinks that dubloons are food, and has naught
Scatch: Wacky... hey! That rhymes with Quacky! You're just lucky, I guess!
Me: Oh brother! Let's just get this over with, so I can get away from you!
Scatch: Oh, I can tell already, we're going to be partners for life!
Me: Anything but that! Oy, I bet that even Threelegs would agree that this
is worse than walking the plank! HE wasn't stuck with a nutty Blumaroo!
Scatch: Hmm, I wonder if they have almond or peanut flavored dubloons?
Me: Gah! Dubloons are NOT food Scatch! How many times do I have to tell you?
Scatch: Huh? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention, could you repeat that?
Me: Ugh! Oh nevermind... Come on, the Swashbuckling Academy is straight ahead!
*we approach the massive building, and enter, finding ourselves face to face
(beak?) with Cap'n Threelegs himself*
Threelegs: Arrr! What ye be doing here, aye mate?
Scatch: Well, uh...
Threelegs: (annoyed) Ye be wasting my time, lads, do ye got dubloons for training
Me: Actually Mister Threelegs-
Threelegs: That's Cap'n Threelegs to ye, or ye'll be swabbing the deck matey!
Scatch: *laughs at me:
Threelegs: Aye, ye too lad! Batten ye hatches, or ye might find me to be teaching
ye a lesson that ye wont likely forget!
Me and Scatch: *gulp*
Me: Sorry Mist- I mean Cap'n! Now, as I was saying we're very interested in
you, and we wondered if you could tell us a little bit about you?
Threelegs: Argh, ye're a plague, ye young Neopians! Well, I see that ye wont
be leaving without something, so I'll say a bit, then ye leave, aye?
Me and Scatch: Aye Cap'n!
Threelegs: Ah, now ye're talking sense maties! Ask yer questions and be gone
Me: All right then... What is your favorite color?
Threelegs: Well Gold of course! Loot and dubloons be the only colors important
Scatch: Dubloons... aren't those a type of dessert?
Me: Shush Scatch! Erm, he was just joking!
Threelegs: Ye better be lad, or I'll be slashing ye maroon!
Scatch: I wasn't joking!
Me: *elbows Scatch* Um, Scatch has a bad sense of humor!
Threelegs: (suspiciously) Really, eh?
Me: Anyways, What's yer saying Cap'n?
Threelegs: Argg, shiftless waisters! Either shape up or I'll have ye walkin'
Me: *gulp* Lets move on then... tell us a little about your life!
Threelegs: Aye, ye be nosy, for sure! Argg, fine! I was the finest pirate on
the high seas, but I gave up my plundering, and sailing for life here on Krawk
Island. Aye, those were the good old days!
Scatch: Wait, wouldn't they punish you, for being a pirate and everything?
Threelegs: Aye Sonny, they'd have, but I accepted a job here at the academy,
for them to pardon me of all my pirating days! Aye, now I'm left only with buccaneers
like ye, hopeless though ye are, hoping ye might be true seamen someday.
Me: Everybody's curious, including me, on how you lost your leg Cap'n.
Threelegs: Ye wont be hearing about that from me, ye seasick landlubbers!
Me: *Flip Captain Threelegs a dubloon to make him more apt to explain*
Threelegs: Aye, ye be stubborn , ye are for sure! Eh, but dubloons are worth
it, so sit tight and listen!
Me and Scatch: Aye Aye Cap'n!
Threelegs: Long ago, when I was still a plunderer, an old buddy of mine told
me of the treasure buried here on this island. I sneaked the map from him, and
followed it to an abandoned cave. Now, I saw light, and I was sure that I'd
found the loot! I came through a hole, and there was the biggest Krawk ye ever
saw! He was a massive beast, but I wasn't some fresh waister! I fought, and
then I used an old trick, that worked with an old coat, and tried to swing a
punch at the monster. Somehow, the old Krawk got my punch IN his mouth, and
he took me fore arm off, then and there! I somehow managed to escape with me
life, and only me arm gone! Aye, now that be me story of me leg!
Scatch: Hmmm, well Captain, there's a rumor goin' round that you lost it in
a freak accident... a Tombola accident; yer just to shamed to admit the truth!
What d'you say to that?
Threelegs: (roars) Argg, ye'll be walkin' the plank tonight! Ye and the cowards
who said that!
Me: Scatch! Now you've done it! Let's get out of here!
Scatch: Righto! Thanks so much Captain Threelegs! We've got to... er... earn
some dubloons now, bye!
*We run away, and set sail for Neopia Central*
Me: Wow, we're sure to strike gold with this one!
Scotch: Strike gold! Ha ha, like dubloons!
Me: Oh great, don't even start!
Scatch: Ha ha! Lets go buy some dubloons Wolfie, I'm really hungry!
Me: *groan* How many times do I have to tell you...
Scatch: Hey look, under the water! It's Maraqua! Ooh, I bet there's lots of
treasure there! *dives into water*
Me: No! You still have the notes with you! They'll be ruined!
Scatch: *pokes head above water guiltily, and takes out sopping wet scrap of
paper* Oops... too late!
Me: Well, I guess that Cap'n Threelegs be happy... oh bah! I'm sending in the
And that is the story of our adventures in Krawk Island, reporting to you
for the Neopian Times, I'm Wolfie, reporter exclusive! Arrr!