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Neopian Acronyms: A Basic Guide

by xtrat


NEOBOARDS - We've all experienced it, anyone who is new to Neopets is bound to have trouble understanding all the acronyms that are carelessly thrown around by more experienced users. Some of these can be easy to work out, but others will lay stagnant in your memory for weeks on end, tormenting you with constant pokes and laughter until your brain explodes. In order to prevent having to waste any more of my valuable and irreplaceable time cleaning up exploded brains, I have a put together a comprehensive list of the acronyms you are most likely to run into during your day to day goings on in Neopia.

In order to help you recognise the acronyms on my list in everyday chat, I will follow each definition by using the acronym in a sentence.

AG - Asparagus Groupie. You need to watch out for these people, as they are easily agitated if you offend asparagus when they are within earshot. An easy identifiable feature of these dangerous users is their 'Asparagus - Bleh' avatar.

"The AG didn't like my picture of the Chia eating asparagus [said picture was of a Chia which was eating some asparagus, not a piece of asparagus which eats Chias!]."

BD - Book Duel. An odd way in which to resolve an argument, these Duels comprise of the two combatants shouting memorised book quotes at each other until one runs out of things to say, is rendered motionless by a fantastic quote, forfeits, or exits the bout in some other fashion. Fabulous prizes are up for grabs for those who master this game. This isn't an easy thing for poor players to get into as to memorise quotes from books one has to buy them and the more expensive the book the quote comes from the better quality. When one has attained a large sum of money, however, this truly is a fantastic sport to partake in.

"I just splurged on some new BD equipment[books]"

H4K - Hannah For King. This is a common chant heard by supporters of Hannah - the Usul who has had various adventures fighting snow beasts and pirates. This is a particularly odd chant, as it would be quite difficult for a female to be named King. This, however, does not stop her avid supporters, who can often be heard groaning saying things not dissimilar to 'I wish I could afford an H4K Helmet!' As of yet, an H4K Helmet is the only article of clothing this group has manufactured, but I am sure that with such an enormous member base this will not be so for long.

"I cannot believe H4K Helmets cost so much!"

HS - Head Shrinkers. A mysterious group who live nestled amongst the clouds of Faerieland. As the name implies, they enjoy shrinking the heads of unsuspecting Neopets and laughing at the product, which is hilarious for all but the victim. Often new members are lured in to the lair of this clan by a friendly looking water faerie who claims to have healing powers.

"Hmm.. I wonder what this mysterious potion I got from the HS will do?"

LC - Literacy Certificate. Every week or so a LC question is uploaded which could require knowledge of anything from grammar to punctuation. A shiny trophy and avatar is awarded to those who answer correctly fast enough, and a monetary gift is awarded for everyone who answers correctly regardless of time. The monetary gift is 2 million divided up between all the winners. You'd think you would get a good amount of cash for this with all the illiterate chatspeaking people on the neoboards *hides from incoming dung and shouts of "Wot R U 2RYINk 2 Say?"* but alas, this is not so, as those who have a firm grip of the English language, for reasons unbeknownst to me, go and post the answer to the LC on the neoboards so everyone can get it.

"The LC is so hard this week!"

NOOB - Not On Our Board. This acronym is most commonly found amongst the incomprehensible clutter of what I assume to be words which inhabit the neoboards. This rather common acronym is used as an insult when a member posts something stupid. It is often spotted in its lowercase form: noob.

"How many times do we have to tell you, noob!"

NP - Nose Particles. Currently all the rage in Neopia, NP can be obtained from playing games, winning contests or randomly whilst browsing Neopets. They can be used for all manner of things, from collecting enough to construct a full nose (which can be sold for NP) to trading them for another user's ready-made nose. How fun.

"Oh dear, the ghosts just stole 283 NP from me!"

NT - Novice Ticklers. I wouldn't get too close to these people, because as soon as you get close enough they whip out their giant feathered quills and tickle you until you hand over all your Neopoints. As with an AG, a member of this organisation can be identified by their 'NT Star' avatar, which features a quill and is awarded to NT's who have tickled 10 or more people. This is an exclusive club and a mysterious member who occasionally goes by the name of 'Snowflake' has to approve your joining before you can become a member.

"I finally got accepted into the NT!"

TNT - The Neopian Troublemakers. These people cause many problems around Neopia. They are the ones behind the site being down for maintenance and the cancelling of the Dr. Sloth plot. I wouldn't advise anyone goes badmouthing this particular group on the neoboards, though, or you could find yourself frozen faster than you can say 'I'msosorryherehavesomeasparagus!'

"Neoschools are delayed again? I'm SO annoyed at TNT right now!"

WoE - Wicked old Edna. This acronym, of course, refers to Edna the witch. "Edna is constantly trying to master her spells, spending most of her time tucked away in her gloomy, grey-walled tower, mixing ingredients in her bubbling cauldron." Whilst one is browsing the neoboards a variety of claims regarding this character could be found, both good and bad.

"I just got a rare plushie from that WoE!"

That's all for today! I hope you have absorbed all of this information and won't look puzzled and utter a little 'yelp' sound when I tell you to go and win the LC to get some NP to win in the BD and get an H4K Helmet!

NB: Of course, none of these acronyms are real. I won't waste time time telling you what they really stand for, as I'm sure you are smart enough to work them out for yourselves. If you're having trouble, however, look at the sentences below the acronyms, as I tried my best to make these work with the real meanings too. Oh, and sorry if I offended you, TNT ... It wasn't intentional ... I'm not angry at you for any of those things I said ... honest! *nervous glances*

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