Invaders and Foes: The Easter Cybunny
On the prior and first edition of Invaders and Foes, I discussed my insane theory
about a small, malicious, and maniacal group called The Chia Fruit Bowl. But to
be honest, they are soooo one month ago, so I just had let you guys in on the
newest scoop! *whispers* It’s Icy Hot Swirly Raspberry Ice Cream! No, wait, I
meant the newest scoop about the newest invader and foe! Oh no, just hearing the
news that there’s a new villain in town makes us all want to break down and cry,
but this time, don’t worry! This particular villain brings candy to pets and owners
all throughout the world on Easter Day. Scrumptious and completely safe candies!
I mean, they’re from a stranger, so obviously they’re safe, right?
Oh that’s it. Easter Cybunny, say hello to my fist!
*comes back* Now that I’ve taken care of that little pipsqueak, we can get
back to business! So, who is the Easter Cybunny that everyone speaks of? Sure,
we may know him (which is the gender I’ll be referring it to) as the small,
generous Cybunny who prances around Neopia, throwing treats and spreading joy.
But is that really his true side?
According to my calculations, no, no, NO! And also, according to my calculations,
I didn’t really calculate anything!
Okay, so the first question that’ll probably arise in a person’s mind is: Who
does Blub think he is?! Of course the Easter Cybunny isn’t evil! Why would he
My answer to you is: he’s evil because he CAN be! He has access to everything
that he requires to rule over the world of Neppia, he’s masked himself with
a disguise of kindness, and is ultimately a mastermind manipulator. Honestly,
CANDY! The pet is a genius!
Immediately, when candy comes to mind, that must means that it has to do with
something in this brilliant plan. Well, we all guessed right! First, have you
ever noticed the specific kinds of candies that the Easter Cybunny hands out?
That’s right. Nothing else but that big, fat, oval, different-style gourmet
snacks. And obviously, there has to be something going on if all he gives out
are presumably Neggs, eh? Of course! The first thing that creatures notice when
it comes to Neggs is that they can’t be broken with anything else but your mouth.
Already, those things sound dangerous.
And hidden in the deep center of a Negg is a mysterious substance that no one
would have figured what it wasn’t without my brilliant mind. Brainwashing chocolate.
Mmmmm, brainwashing chocolate…No! Blub, snap out of it! See, the symptoms of
the Neggs have already started showing in me. I don’t have much time left, but
I’ll try and explain the theory as precisely and quickly as possible!
Just a week before Easter, the Easter Cybunny already begins his malevolent
plans. Deep underneath the ground of the Neopian Bazaar is a small Negg factory
where the Easter Cybunny is in all control. Of course, he could have just gotten
his Neggs from any normal Negg factory or shop, but of course, he can’t. His
Neggs, like I stated before, are ‘special’.
So, once the thousands of Neggs that he requires are ready, he stores them
in his Wacko Basket. This magical basket can actually shrink a Negg to the size
of Mootix, but ten times smaller. And whenever he needs one to give to a pet,
a Negg will automatically transform itself back into its normal size. That’s
why no one has ever seen the Easter Cybunny empty-handed. He’s just not going
to let it happen.
After the Easter Cybunny has handed out his Neggs to as many pets and owners
as possible, it’s now the time for him to wait. The brainwashing chocolate will
usually begin to take over an hour after its digestion, which means the clock
is ticking for me *gulp*.
Once pets/owners have been brainwashed, he can use his Virtupets Brainwashing
Control System that he obtained from some companies who were willing to build
it for a margin of his profits.
You see, when pets and owners are brainwashed, they are willing to do anything
for their masters. So, all the evil Easter Cybunny has to do is command his
brainwashed army to come to his factory, and there he can simply steal all of
their precious Neopoints. That’s one of the reasons why the Easter Cybunny concocted
this entire plan in the first place.
The second reason, like any other mastermind in this world would say, is to
take over the world! The Easter Cybunny had always been bullied and ridiculed
by his peers in his childhood for being a sort of…pansy. He’d had always be
in the kitchen with his mommy, creating and decorating all sorts of new and
interesting Neggs. He invented the pink Negg. Not that there’s anything wrong
with that…*cough*. So, obviously, he wants his revenge by showing everyone that
his Neggs are actually ‘powerful and great’ and that he isn’t a pansy (even
though he really is). What? I’m going to be brainwashed anyway, so I could care
And the final reason that the Easter Cybunny is doing all of this is because
he’s bored. Yes, bored. His Rainbow Toaster broke down years ago, and he’s still
waiting for that yummy toast to pop out. But unfortunately, he’s never realized
that his toast has disintegrated by now, and there is nothing to left to pop
So let’s do a quick recap of the Easter Cybunny’s plans. 1. He’s creating his
special Neggs in his special factory because he’s a special pet 2. He’s then
going to give them all to the unfortunate and young pets who will know no better
then to eat food from a stranger (look at me stupid and old me) 3. When the
pets are all brainwashed, he’s going to strip their Neopoints away from them,
and then rule the world with his army 4. He’s still waiting for that toast…
So now that you’ve discovered the real side of the Easter Cybunny, is it really
appropriate to call him by that name now? Not really. He can now be called Pansy
Cybunny. So, I hope this has all taught you a lesson on whom to trust, and who
not to tru—MUST GIVE NEOPOINTS TO THE EASTER CYBUNNY NOW! *goes brain-dead*
Author’s Note: Unfortunately, Blub can’t write down an A/N because he’s
been unfortunately brainwashed, as you all know by now. He asked me, his Cybunny
Jub, to tell you all to send him a ton of Neomail about this article. Or, at
least, I think that’s what him giving me all of his Neopoints means.