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The Woes of Being Jelly


by 3dcourtney12044

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As I write this article, I stare into the eyes of the Blumaroo gazing back at me with a blank stare across the room in an old chipped mirror. Being the old "Lab Rat" in the family, I've gone from Jubjub to Skeith, from Pteri to Aisha, and from a variety of different colours, but my owner, Courtney, recently found a colour she thought she'd keep for a bit and see how it worked out.

How is it her decision? Tell me that!

If I wanted to stay -- well, the colour I had been zapped, I would say so! But no, she stepped back and inspected my colour. "I like it," the twelve-year-old said with a grin. "What do you think, Alec?"

"I feel like the Jelly Chia," I mumbled as we walked home, "just as ugly and just as... mouth-watering!"

"Oh, no one's going to eat you!" Courtney exclaimed.

Had I been a Chia, I would have easily been able to take the place of the Jelly Chia, found in the Gallery Of Evil, and that's pretty much where the similarities end. He's evil. I'm not -- well, not as evil as him. He's a Chia. I am now a Blumaroo.

But we both face one of the most embarrassing and troubling problems.

After the familiar streak of light from the Lab Ray, a large machine made of technical equipment and buttons of every size, I looked down at my paws. They were no longer the pale blue they had once been -- they were a jiggly yellow, and I could nearly see through them. I let out a squeaky sort of gasp as the mad scientist ushered me out of his laboratory so he could welcome new unsuspecting victims.

"I'm -- I'm -- " I had stuttered, and then I wailed, "I'M JELLY!"

Over the course of the long couple of weeks I have been among the small jelly population, I have found numerous problems with real, actual solutions (no, I'm not joking). For all of you jelly folk out there -- how many of you have been the victim of these terrible issues?

  • While walking down the road on a pleasant Neopian day, a few pets and their friends think it's funny (and it's NOT) to come up and take a bite of you.

  • You are constantly sticking to whatever you sit on (beds, chairs, sofas, etc.).

  • At dinner, whatever is on the plates of your siblings, all they can stare at is you with their hungry expressions.

  • You've found that you have completely lost your appetite for the sticky, sugary jelly substance you used to love.

If this has happened to you, my friend, then I'm afraid we may be in the same position. But, never fear, for I wouldn't have created this little article if it weren't for your benefit! Now, the first situation...

SECTION ONE: I am not a treat!

Jelly. The jiggly, sugary, delicious treat that most pets devour as it is placed in front of them as dessert. Oh, what a curse! It isn't safe to be a citizen made of jelly these days! I have notified other Neopian friends of the small jelly population (and a few that are not), and they gladly gave their advice.

Try and look fierce while you are walking down the street. No one would dare take a bite out of you if you keep it cool. - Jamal

If you are truly desperate, try and make yourself less appetizing. Salt, perhaps, or you could carry around a bag of smelly asparagus covered with ketchup (really, no offense at all towards Adam). Or maybe you can think of a better way? - Razz

I am not a jelly pet, but I really think it's wrong to try and eat one of our fellow Neopians! Want jelly? GO TO JELLY WORLD -- The remaining content in this letter has been blocked. Jelly World? What nonsense!

Learn to run fast so they can't catch you. - Garrett

Wear a coat, big hat, heavy boots, and long pants to hide your jelly-ness. The clothes will stick to you, but you won't be eaten! - Brielle

Don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever leave the house and nobody will eat you! - Brooke

Say you'll chuck rotten cabbages at the first person to try and take a bite out of you. You may need to keep your nose plugged if you insist on bringing a sack of it wherever you go... - Ziggy

Organize an angry mob to take your rage out on that mad scientist! Contact (EDIT: Name removed) to join us today! - Trunk

I hope some of this advice was helpful, or at least helped create a better idea in your mind so you won't come home one day with a bite mark in your ear. Now, for our next topic.

SECTION TWO: Sticky? Ew!

Whether it's your bed, your owner's chairs, or your sister's new expensive shirt that you were sitting on just for laughs, if you are made of jelly, you will stick to any one of these items and it will become a nasty chore for anyone nearby to pull on the object until it comes off.

What sort of solution is there to this sort of problem?

Well, for one, you can beg your owner for a trip to the lab ray every day or a new paint brush, but if that is simply out of the question, I have a few answers for you that I have found to be quite useful.

Mow lawns, or shovel driveways (the weather in your area decides this one) to earn some extra Neopoints and contribute to the new paint brush fund. Play games, each of them three times each day. Petpetsit for your neighbors. Clean your bedroom (however dreadful that may be).

In the meantime?

As said above by Brielle in the 'I am not a treat!' section, clothes will stick to you. But, if you wear a long sweater and pants, the material in the clothes will not stick to your furniture. From then on, you will only need to have one, count 'em, one unsticking process, and that is at night when it is time for bed and you must struggle to remove the sweater and pants.

SECTION THREE: Don't look at me!

Dinner time! On your plate is a mountain of chunky, tasteless mashed potatoes cooked for you by your owner, and as you stare at it after choking down your first bite, your gaze wanders to the pets surrounding you. Why aren't they eating? They know that no matter how disgusting the food looks, they were supposed to at least pretend they were eating it!

Oddly enough, your siblings, however many you may have, are staring at you. They wouldn't eat their brother/sister, though, would they? Well perhaps, compared to the chunky, flavourless mashed potatoes that are on your plate, you look much, much more appetizing.

The simple answer to your woe is to talk to your owner about it. Make sure something your siblings like is on their plate, so they won't be tempted to stare at you and your jelly colour. If you have to, offer to cook dinner and take requests from your siblings. It could work out if you put enough effort into it.

SECTION FOUR: Jelly, ugh, no!

Before this awful colour came to be yours, you absolutely loved jelly. It was sugary, fun to play with at the table, and jiggly; all of the small details of a food your elders find annoying.

BZZAP! With one zap, you stare upon your ex-favourite food in horror.

How can this possibly be solved by reading further in an article? It can't. Some pets have overcome this fact of life and accept it as just the way the world works.

Others are depressed as their brothers and/or sisters cheerfully devour the jelly you want to have, but, at the same time, you hate. It's the substance you are made of! Who, in their right mind, would eat it, being a jelly pet themselves?

You have to make that decision. However... seeing as I am a yellow-coloured jelly Blumaroo, my jelly flavour is lemon, and I have only lost a taste for lemon jelly. This may be true for other pets; perhaps you have only lost your taste for that certain flavour, and can move on and eat other kinds.

Hopefully, this article was of some help for the small amount of jelly residents, and if not, tough luck, I tried my best. If you are not made of jelly and you were merely reading this for your amusement, I do hope it was enjoyable to read, and I do want you to know jelly pets have feelings, too. So now, if you are walking down the street and you happen to see one of us, what do you do?

Ha, it was a trick question. You just walk away. Walk quicker if the temptation is great.

Well, so long my friends.

--Alec

 
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