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An Interview with Jhudora


by hottamale0774

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FAERIELAND - Two ordinary Neopians dismounted from two Unis; a brown one and a spotted one. One of the Neopians looked helplessly at the Unis as they flew off to bring other Neopians to Faerieland. The other Neopian scratched her dark cherry hair that was scrunched up into a high pony tail with a dark jade scrunchie. Dragging her partner in crime by the sleeve, Hu dashed towards the menacing purple cloud where they were expected. Hu carefully pushed the large maroon door open and there she was. The darkness faerie looked boredly at nothing particular and kept on tapping her long crooked green nails on the arm rest of her ebony black chair. Hearing the door creak open, the faerie looked up with her threatening green eyes that matched her nails.

Hu: Uh... howdy Jhudora. You don't look too happy. [gulp]

Jhudora: You're late. [The faerie points one crooked finger at a clock on the tavern of her cloud.] I despise tardiness. I should turn you both into... QUIGGLES! [Points her finger at both of the trembling Neopians.]

Rachel: Now, now, Jhudora [nervous laughter] we're really sorry about that... but it was all Hu's fault!

Hu: MY fault? You were the one who was complaining how the ride was bumpy, and you went all the way back home to get a pillow and then...

Jhudora: BE QUIET! If you don't be quiet, I'm going to turn you both into... Cooties!

Rachel: NO! The horror!

Hu: What kind of cooties?

Jhudora: The kind that crawls into your bed at night and tickle you.

Rachel: [Gasps] Not the tickling kind!

Jhudora: Let's get this interview started before I lose my patience.

Hu: Uh... [Fumbles her hands to find her pocket]

Rachel: Where'd you put those note cards that had all the questions?

Hu: [continues to fumble her hands] I'm looking for my pocket because it has all fifty of our questions...

Rachel: Hu... you do realize that you're wearing a skirt with a shirt that doesn’t match at all and that you don't have a pocket?

Jhudora: FIFTY?! You said you only had five short quick questions!

Hu: I'm wearing a skirt? Oh... you see, I lost my glasses this morning, and I must've dropped the note cards when we were flying on the Unis when I thought I stashed them in my pocket...

Rachel: Well... five times ten that is...[groans] Now what are we going to do? Our fans will be disappointed...

Hu: What fans?

Jhudora: [snickers] You two are something alright.

Hu: We'll have to improvise!

Rachel: Impro-whaty-what?

Hu: It means to make up on the spot.

Rachel: Ooh me first! Jhudora, what do you like to do on the weekends?

Hu: Rachel, please just leave the interviewing to me.

Rachel: But interviewing is fun!

Jhudora: [sigh] They said that they were sending real Neopian Times writers...

Hu: Hey we ARE real. [pinches herself] OWWWW!

Jhudora: ...[glares at the two air heads] You're supposed to interview me, not entertain me.

Rachel: I have a question! Jhudora, why are you so evil?

Hu: [Stares at Rachel] That was actually smart!

Jhudora: Finally! Well it all started back when I was five and I found a lost Gelert pup....

Five hours later....

[Hu is lying on the ground, half asleep. Rachel is standing by Jhudora.]

Jhudora: And then he said, 'those Slorgs aren't for sale,' but I took one anyway! [Starts crying] I took one anyway!

Rachel: There, there.

Hu: [yawn] I take back saying this was a smart idea.

Rachel: [crying]But it was so, sad!

Hu: Uhh... next question. How do you feel about Fyora?

Jhudora: [wiping tears] FYORA?! She's so disrespectful especially when everyone asks her the truth about her heritage!

Hu: What do you mean? She's not part dar-

Jhudora: Yes she is! She's half darkness faerie and half light faerie. She says that she's part everything, but that's so the others won't get offended.

Hu: Woah that IS big news.

Rachel: If you are so evil, why do you let Neopians do quests and give them prizes?

Jhudora: Because I'm too lazy to leave my lovely little cloud, don't you love what I've done with the place by the way?

Rachel: The purple is so last year, and besides, it clashes with the green.

Jhudora: Humph, fine help you are. To answer the question, I let them do the quests and give them cheap prizes that I buy for one Neopoint.

Hu: [gasp] Isn't that unfair? [mumbles] I bought her a petpet once and all she gave me was a lousy lollypop.

Jhudora: Excuse me? I'm the Darkness faerie, you know. I'm not supposed to be fair.

Hu: However, I do love the colors. So what are your favorite colors?

Jhudora: ... Isn't it obvious? [points to her green and purple hair, palace, cloud....]

Hu: Um... pink?

Jhudora: NO! [shrinks back in hatred]

Hu: Never mind then... what do you think of the Neopian Times?

Jhudora: It's horrible.

Rachel: Why's that?

Jhudora: It just doesn't have enough darkness faeries in it such as myself. [twists a piece of her hair] I mean, look at me, why aren't I featured in the Neopian Times more often?

Rachel: Uh... [looks franticly at Hu]

Hu: Aren't Rachel and I supposed to do the interviewing, not you?

Jhudora: Oh. Oops.

Rachel: Why do you hate Illusen?

Jhudora: Ugh, don't get me started on that goody-two shoes faerie.

Hu: Is this going to be another five hour story?

Jhudora: Most likely.

Rachel: Then let's just forget I ever asked that question. How come you have your cloud in Faerieland when you basically hate all the faeries here?

Jhudora: Two words: tourism.

Hu: That's one word.

Jhudora: Whatever. All the owners and pets come to Faerieland and they do my quests so, boom, I'm rich.

Rachel: Is that all you think about?

Jhudora: What?

Rachel: Neopoints.

Jhudora: Oh of course not. I think about world domination, power, Neopoints, and punishing innocents. Did I just say that out loud?

Hu: Yep.

Rachel: *Faints.*

Hu: Wow; that was random.

Jhudora: What is the next question people? I don't have all day!

Hu: If you're going to be so snippy about it. What is your favorite activity to do?

Jhudora: I really like Gormball, especially playing with that fire faerie. Hitting her in the face with a ball feels so good.

Hu: [Looks at a watch] Oh, its four o'clock pm. Anyways, next question. Why do you-

Jhudora: Four o'clock? GET OUT! You've wasted hours of my precious time when I could be swindling Neopoints from Neopians with quests! AUGH! Seven hours wasted! Seven hours! Get out of my sight this instance, you feeble humans. [Points a finger at Hu and Rachel]

[A large green PUFF covers the two]

Hu: AHHHH!

Rachel: Well this concludes this pointless, long interview with Jhudora. See you next time...

Hu: Hey! That's my line!

Rachel: You were busy screaming.

Hu: Was not!

Rachel: Was too!

Hu: Was not!

Rachel: Was too...

[the two start bickering among themselves and one of them get hurt (cough, Rachel, cough) and this article ends.]

 
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