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10 Things You Thought You Would Never Eat

by mysticarticuno


KITCHEN TABLE - What you say? You never eat inedible items before? You don’t know what you’re missing out on! You may think that eating them would be pretty nasty, but in fact they DO have a nice taste to them. You just never cared to eat them, now, have you? Here are 10, yes, 10 out of the many items you can eat. Enjoy!

1) Faerie Erasers – I, myself, I have tried one of each before. They were wonderful! I loved the Water Faerie Eraser. But, I do not recommend eating the Fire Faerie Eraser. It’s spicier than the Spicy Red Pepper Omelette I make for my Shoyru sometimes. Especially where Water Faerie Erasers are expensive.

2) Furniture – I could go on and on about how tasty furniture is. Have you tried the Coconut furniture lately? The Pretty Pink Pillows taste like candy! My Techo sleeps with them at night on his Coconut bed and I wake up and find him sleeping on the floor! I recommend eating Rainbow Furniture, my Zafara licks the Rainbow fireplace and she says it tastes like all those fruity flavors on lollipops. Don’t eat that stone furniture though. My Techo’s Gruslen bit into a Hewn Stone Bed that my friend gave me, and it wasn’t a very pleasant experience. Also, don’t eat the Dung Furniture for…umm…obvious reasons. Yeah.

3) Books – Who said books were not only for reading? The Kreludan Cookie Book might have a steel cover, but it’s still a cookie! It even has that Kreludan cookie taste to it; so, you know, you’d be able to taste the cookie before you even make the cookie! I don’t recommend the Scorchio Cook Book though. My Grundo always complains it tastes like overcooked meat. I wouldn’t let your pet eat the Rainbow Pool book either, unless you want your pet to be Mutant and Faerie at the same time.

4) Junk Items From Tombola - There’s never any use for these items, but I guess there is now! My Shoyru’s Splyke likes to chew on a good copy of Neopian Times Issue 3 on occasion. Whenever my Zafara comes back from Tombola with a pair of Sandals, instead of keeping them (which we have a million of them in the closet, no exaggeration) we put sand on them from the bottle of sand we got the Tombola guy the day before on the sandals and eat them with our pasta. We finally found out a way to eat that stupid Pickled Olives! You have to break the glass! Like how stupid of us to not realize that! They are good olives; you should try them someday.

5) Clothes – I’m sure we have eaten our shirts before. Aren’t they tasty? I like to eat the War Chia Top with my Neofriends whenever we get the chance. Why not eat PANTS?! I mean pants are THE tastiest piece of clothing. Although, some pants are tougher to chew than others. Watch out though, the Pant Devil might steal your tasty meal. He’s been looking for a pair of pants to wear lately. I don’t blame him. After all he IS the Pant Devil, right?

6) Avatars – Neopets, do you want to aggravate your owner? Eat their avatars! It’ll lower their avatar count. It’s like getting your revenge from making you starve. Who would want to starve for days on end? I have to admit though. Those avatars are tasty. Who would want to pass up eating a Faerie Queen Doll avatar? Especially if your owner already got rid of the doll… *ahem* Moving on.

7) Socks – Socks?! Yes, socks. Even though Dr. Sloth is that evil type of person and he wears smelly socks, the Dr Sloth Sock is pretty tasty. It tastes strangely like Avocados. For Holiday cheer, try a Red or Green Stocking. Socks are good for chewing, but you have to spit out the cotton after. If you insist…if you really want your pet to bite into a Magic Smelly Sock, then get a nose plug, seriously. My Shoyru ate one and she had bad breath for a week. You know, the breath you wake up to in the morning (or the afternoon). Even the best toothpaste in Neopia wasn’t able to get rid of her bad breath.

8) Random Events - Do you hate Adee the Chia who keeps saying to you about the Neofriends and stuff? Well why not eat those silly, pointless random events? A Poogle walks past you and says Hi? Well, eat the random event! Don’t eat the good ones though, would you eat 1,000 NPs from the ground? I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t eat the Bug Brothers as well, unless you want revenge.

9) The Snowager – Why not? All those times where you never got the item, you can eat the Snowager himself! That way, you can get all of his items! Then again, they’re probably all Melted Chocolate Neggs and Neggitus injections. That’s if you can even eat him before he blasts you. Many Neopets have set off to eat the Snowager, but failed. I think he blasts the Neopets so often because he’s tired of being eaten all the time. I guess that’s why he’s been around all this time, blasting away Neopets.

Last, but not least!

10) The Wheels – What revenge could be sweeter than eating the Wheel of Monotony, or perhaps the Wheel of Knowledge? Who would wait 3 hours for your pets to get pelted with stones, or pay 500 NP for something you already knew? I would eat the wheels, wouldn’t you? I heard rumors the Wheel of Excitement tastes like my Rainbow fireplace. I wouldn’t eat the Wheel of Misfortune though. You’ll most likely get NeoPox. For the Wheel of Mediocrity, I wouldn’t eat that either, but if you get really angry because you got only 10 Neopoints, go ahead. I don’t think Plesio would notice anyway, he’s having too much fun.

Neopia is full of items you haven’t even thought about eating. I hope you’ll enjoy these meals, happy eating! *Goes back to eating an Angelpuss sock.*

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