15 Things: What Happens When You Don't Get Published
DEEP CATACOMBS - It is a very prestigious honour to be accepted into the Neopian
Times these days. Firstly, you receive a spectacular new trophy for your cabinet,
secondly there is the elusive avatar that lurks in the midst and of course, there
is all the glory that comes along with having your name up there in lights with
the big guns; with your work displayed proudly for all to see!
However, the not-so-wonderful side of the Times happens to the best of us.
Rejection. Sadly, it happens to most of us who submit their work to the Neopian
Times for submission but rest assured if this happens to you, you are definitely
not alone. So, fellow rejectees, read ahead and take note of;
15 Things: What happens when you don't get published!
#15: Stare in astonishment at the rejection letter in your Neomail, blinking
and shaking your head a few times to ensure your body is functioning as it should
be. Slump down on your Zen Rug and wonder what on Neopia went wrong.
#14: Bang your head repeatedly on your computer monitor and complain to friends,
family members and any other person who might be in your house at the time,
about the injustice of it all and what an apparent snub of creativity it all
#13: Throw away all of your unfinished articles, stories and comics in the
midst of a temper tantrum, shooting dark looks at the computer and any individual
happening to appear within a ten mile radius of you.
#12: Play a few vicious rounds of Whack-A-Staff-Member, achieving a substantially
higher score than you have ever reached in the past.
#11: Get on your Guild board and post various self-pitying messages about how
completely unfair it is and how you appear to have lost every creative and/or
artistic bone in your body in some sort of freak accident. Use obscene amounts
of the sad-faced smiley and completely stretch out the entire board in the process.
#10: Begin to concoct a conspiracy theory surrounding the Neopian Times and
the individuals who get chosen to be published. Assume these players are all
family and/or friends of members of the Neopets Team and begin to question the
fairness and equality of the website, all the while looking over your shoulder
a vast amount of times and twitching unexplainably.
#9: Whine more. A lot more.
#8: Completely boycott the Neopian Times, all the while taking immense pleasure
in lining your Kadoatie litter tray with previous issues.
#7: Suddenly realise you aren't enjoying reading the New Features section of
the website quite so much as you did the Times, and begin to line your Kadoatie
litter tray with ordinary paper once more.
#6: Continue to whine to anyone who will listen, however secretly take a trip
to the store to purchase new stationary supplies and parchment just in case
you have the urge to pick up the quill once again.
#5: Start lurking on the Writers forum and observing the hints and tips of
the trade, letting no-one know that you were there, of course.
#4: Secretly admire other individual's shiny Neopian Times trophies and develop
a sudden urge to splurge your well-earned Neopoints on a White Weewoo which
you will subsequently name "Ed" (which has absolutely no connection to the term
#3: Begin to limit your whining about the scandal that WAS the Neopian Times,
restricting yourself to one complaint per day and eventually weaning it out
#2: Compose a gob smacking new work of art, sparing absolutely no expense with
your creativity, individuality and style.
#1: Quit complaining and decide to take another shot, paste your article in
below and SUBMIT ARTICLE..
So, fellow rejectees, if you find yourself feeling dejected about not appearing
in the Neopian Times, cheer up. We know your work is wonderful, perhaps it just
needs some touching up and/or editing. But you know what they say; practice
Pick up your pen, or open that document up, and get writing/typing. Try and
think of something that you enjoy writing about and that you think others will
enjoy reading too, and most importantly - make sure it's something unique and
fun that hasn't been done before!
Another handy hint is to make use of constructive criticism. Have you been
rejected before? Go back through your old Neomails and have a look at the reasons
for it, I bet it isn't just because your article/story/comic is absolute rubbish!
Often the Neopets Team has a reason for not publishing one's work - so it pays
to show some initiative and try to understand why. A few common reasons include:
*The topic of your article has been covered already.
Basically, this means that there has been a similar subject covered already
and most likely published previously, which means that unfortunately your work
falls short of brand new, interesting works. The solution: Have a read through
of some old issues of the Neopian Times and observe the topics that have been
covered and search for topics which remain untouched. There is your goldmine!
*Your work contained grammatical errors/spelling
mistakes. The Neopian Times is just like any real publication - do you see typos
in your local newspapers? I think not! Messy writing styles, articles that don't
make sense, everyday users like you and me don't want to read through that!
We want perfect, easy to read stories and articles, and the Neopian Times provides
that for us. The solution: Make sure you're using some sort of spell checker
to check your work for any flaws or errors. It also helps sometimes to have
somebody else proof read your work, and give you hints on what needs fixing
and what sounds wonderful. Give it a shot!
*Your article/story/comment does not make sense.
I've received this criticism before and found it to be the most harsh, particularly
when you've worked hard on something which you find to be humorous and easy
to understand (this applies a lot to comic submissions but may also apply to
articles and/or stories). Again, in this instance I would recommend the use
of a proof-reader. Somebody who plays Neopets would be a bonus considering your
work is related to the site, however anybody will do. Chances are, if they don't
understand the joke, neither will the readers of the Times.
I hope these give you a few pointers on submitting your work to the Neopian
Times, and of course what to do should you NOT get published! :) “15 Things”
is a satirical look at being knocked back, which YES, has happened to me on
numerous occasions, but the moral to the story: If you're reading this, that
means that my very first article has been published. And that's all there is
If at first you don't succeed.. Try, try again!