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Neoschool Survival #3: Classroom Games

by tambourine_chimp


SCHOOL - You all asked for a third lesson, so you all got a third lesson! I just hope you know what you’ve all let yourselves in for, that’s all.

So, you’ve learnt how to excuse your way out of any lesson or predicament, and you also now have a keen grasp of the secret language used by teachers…what then could I possibly teach – did I just say teach? I meant inform – you about now…?

I’ve got it! You know those horrible lessons where time seems to drag on for millennia, and you don’t know if it’s just you or if the teacher has taken the batteries out of the clock again? Well, wouldn’t you like to know the many fun things you can do to brighten-up these otherwise monotonous minutes? Of course you would, or you wouldn’t be reading this, so quieten down and I’ll begin.

Here I’ll give you just a taster of the delights you can start in class, and hopefully you’ll be able to make your own variants and own ideas as you try them out.

1) Classroom Chia Bomber (Also known as Classroom Minesweeper)

What’s this, I hear you ask? Yes I do, so don’t pretend you didn’t say anything…anyway, Classroom Chia Bomber is very easy to start, and all it requires is enough small square pieces of paper to fit everywhere a column and a row of seats cross. Let’s say you have five rows of six seats, that means that every time there’s a cross made from the chairs, you put down a piece of paper (without the teacher seeing, of course. Better yet, get to the classroom before the teacher arrives, and set up the game early).

For all you visual learners out there (and for those that still don’t understand what I’m trying to get across) here’s a diagram, drawn by Yours Truly and presented graciously by none other then the NT’s very own Snowflake:

Of course, this isn’t accurate. Maybe you have more seats, maybe you’ll choose to put pieces of papers on the outside junctions as well…and maybe you don’t have blue chairs, but it’s only a rough diagram!

So, now you have your paper laid-out, but you still aren’t ready! The last thing you need to do before a game of Classroom Chia Bomber can commence is mark one piece – just one, mind you – as the actual bomb/mine. Let everyone in the class (except the teacher, of course) know which piece it is, sit down and wait.

This game only really works with a teacher who is know to stroll around as they lectures you about the marvels of Pythagoras’ Theory of Relativity or whatever it is they’re bragging about. Sit quietly through his long-winded recitations, all the while keeping close track of their movements. When – and only if – they happen to step on the designated bomb/mine, the entire class must erupt as one in a loud, raucous “BOOOM!” This will signal the end of the game and probably the end of your teacher, as he’d probably be scared witless and be submitted to the Hospital.

Variations you could try: More then one bomb/mine. Time it, keep records and a Hall of Boom Fame for the longest “surviving” teacher.

Warning: This may not work if your teacher is particularly sharp and notices that the paper, instead of being just littered around, happens to be in the same place every time. They may set about cleaning-up the pieces after that, invalidating the game. To prevent this, place you pieces in different areas of the junctions, hiding them if need be. Alternatively, if you all happen to have good memories, paper may not be needed as long as you all remember which junction (or coordinate) holds the bomb/mine.

2) Big Word Hunting (AKA Word Fishing)

Everyone knows that all teachers have their favourite word or phrase. Heck, some even have a dozen or so! Anyway, when you know you’re specific teacher’s word, it then becomes your prey. Keep track of the number of times they use it in one lesson, and see if the word was “wild” (Hunting) or “biting” (Fishing).

Variations you could try: If your teacher has a variety of words or phrases, different pupils choose a particular word, and you hold a contest to see who “bags” or “catches” their word the most often in one lesson.

Warning: This game may cause you to pay close attention to what your teacher is actually saying, and should only be played by those with a strong will not to actually learn anything that is said.

3) School Exchange

This is basically Pass the Parcel, but with a twist! See how long you can pass an unsuspicious object (a textbook, for instance) between your class before the teacher notices and confiscates the object or gives it back to its proper owner. If they choose to do the latter, then just wait until their back is turned and start again, the one that got caught with the object being out of the game! Keep playing this in rounds until only one player remains victorious.

Variations you could try: School Exchange Express! Similar to the original, except you mix in the elements of Hot Potato so that no student can hold the object for more then five seconds. This will cause more fun and panic as the object is hurriedly exchanged before the teacher notices!

Warning: School Exchange can last for more than one lesson if your teacher is slow to catch players, so should only be played by those with a lot of time on their hands.

4) Distraction

At any time during the lesson, suddenly ask your teacher an off-topic question and, when they’re finished answering it, ask them another! Keep doing this until they say that its enough and that you should get back to the lesson’s topic. Keep a leader board to see who can distract the teacher the longest.

Variations you could try: Other then questions, you could also try asking about your teacher’s fondest memories. And for the leader board, to make it more challenging, see who manages to ask the most questions as well as who distracts the teacher the longest.

Warning: If you ask the teacher for their memories, be careful not to ask about any subject concerning school or their childhood, because the teacher will either blab on for hours about “When they were young” which, whilst racking-up your score, can also bore you to tears, or remind them that they’re supposed to be teaching you, not reciting their memoirs, which won’t help you’re score much.

Well, there you go! Just four games you can try to use to make those unbearably long and tedious lessons just a bit more enjoyable. Feel free to change them to suit your class’ needs, and even come up with your own.

Remember, it may be school, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have fun!

The End

Author’s Note: TC accepts no responsibility for any Over The Top variations of his four games, so if your teacher happens to step on an actual bomb or mine, don’t all point your fingers at ME, you hear?

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