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The Neopia Security Agency

by undeadfortune


(Author’s side note. This short story is in the form of a play. The story is presented through the script, with the setting being declared at the start of every new scene. Characters will be described during their first appearance on stage. Thanks, and enjoy.)

Act 1 – Scene 1

Setting: A dark alleyway somewhere in Neopia Central. The clouds can be seen hanging low in the sky and a half moon is attempting to cast some light on the surroundings. Small, assorted shops and buildings create a narrow path to walk down.

(Marcus is a red Quiggle and is making his way slowly down the empty alley. He can be seen glancing nervously over his shoulder and is gripping a piece of paper in his hands. If he holds it any harder he’ll tear it.)

Marcus: (To himself.) What were you thinking agreeing to meet that person here? Here, of all places! This better be worth my time.

(Suddenly, a figure steps out from a nearby shadow. The figure keeps in the dark and speaks in a deep, monotone Voice. Marcus can’t place the Neopet’s accent.)

Voice: (Softly.) Do you have the paper?

Marcus: (Holding the paper up.) Yes, it’s… it’s, right here. Do you have my Neopoints that I was promised?

Voice: Of course. Do you see a silver briefcase, not more then five steps to your left? (The figure points.)

Marcus: (Turning to look.) Well, um, yes, I see it. Is it all there?

Voice: (Assuring.) Of course, as long as the paper is good.

Marcus: (Quickly.) The paper is good, don’t you worry about that. Took some doing, but I was able to finally get my hands on it.

Voice: Actions speak louder then words. Let me see the paper. (The figure holds out his hand.)

Marcus: (Slowly handing the paper to the figure.) Here.

(Marcus lets go of the paper and rushes over to the briefcase. Opening it quickly, he smiles as the top pops upwards.)

Marcus: (Turning towards the figure.) Pleasure doing business… With… You? (Looking around.) Where’d he go? Pfft. Last time I do any business with the NSA.

(Marcus picks up the briefcase and makes his way down the dark alley. He doesn’t notice the figure following Marcus’ movements from his shadowy perch. Blackout.)

Act 1 – Scene 2

Setting: The Neopia Security Agency’s main briefing room. The walls are bare and colored a dark brown paint. A long table takes up most of the room’s space and is surrounded by twelve chairs. The windows are covered by shades and a dim light is all that keeps the occupants from not being able to see.

(The ‘Chief’, (a shadow Grarrl), can be seen sitting on the far end of the table. She has a pad of paper in front of her and a pen in hand. Sitting at the table with her is junior agent Smalls (an orange Yurble) and Gabe (a spotted Bruce).)

Chief: (Not looking up.) You know how this effects the NSA? Don’t you?

Smalls: (Protesting.) Well, yes. But Chief, you can’t say it’s completely our fault!

Gabe: (Agreeing.) He’s right, Chief; just because someone is posing as the NSA, you blame Smalls?

Chief: (Setting down her pen.) Posing as the NSA is not the problem. The problem is that an underling of Sloth was passing off top-secret materials to unknown sources. The fact that you and Smalls let Marcus out of your sight and were unable to figure out who is now in control of Sloth’s plans! That is the problem.

Gabe: (Under his breath.) She has a point there.

Smalls: (To Gabe.) You’re no help.

Chief: Enough of this, the two of you are acting like you can’t fix this. You’re agents of the NSA, for crying out loud! Let’s review what we know.

Smalls: (Picking up his notes.) I can tell you what we know. Someone is planning to take over Kreludor. That same someone is masterminding a team of three highly dangerous Neopets, which our NSA agents have been searching for almost six months now. During those six months, we’ve learned nothing more then those three’s aliases and the alias for their leader. (Stops talking and looks at Gabe.)

Gabe: (Reads his own notes.) The three Neopets are known only as, ‘The Misery’, ‘The Hatred’ and ‘The Fate’. Each seems to have their own special fields and when working together, they form a very dangerous trio.

Chief: (To herself.) Don’t criminals ever use regular names anymore? (To Smalls.) I already know most of this, what about their leader?

Smalls: Their leader goes by the code name, ‘The Patience’. Seems he or she used to work with Sloth as well, but after Sloth was defeated in the early wars, they left and created their own evil army. ‘The Patience’ must have thought they were better then Sloth, and couldn’t put up with losing.

Chief: (Interested.) And now this group has one of Sloth’s untested plans?

Gabe: Yes, that’s correct, and if we don’t work quickly, the entire world of Neopia could be in danger.

Chief: (Pointing.) Gabe, continue to dig up any information you can on ‘The Patience’ or Sloth’s untested plan. (To Smalls.) See if you can find Marcus and learn anything you can about who he met with. Let's get moving, people; the longer we wait, the colder their trail becomes.


Act 1 – Scene 3

Setting: A gloomy run down neighborhood. Marcus’s old Neohome looks like it may crumple without a moment's notice. The front lawn is thick with weeds and the exterior of the house is overrun with decay. It is late in the afternoon, and the dark clouds look as if rain may start any moment.

(Marcus is making his way up to his house and doesn’t notice Smalls who is slowly sneaking up behind him.)

Smalls: (Pressing his fingers to Marcus’s back.) Freeze, NSA.

Marcus: (Throwing his keys out of his hands as his arms fly upwards.) Don’t hurt me! I’m unarmed!

Smalls: (Laughing.) Put your hands down, before you draw attention to yourself.

Marcus: (Slightly turning his head, but not lowering his hands.) No way! Not when there’s some agent of the NSA behind me. I gave you all I knew last night.

Smalls: (Curious.) Did you now? Sorry to tell you this, but you handed it off to known criminals, not the NSA.

Marcus: (Dropping his hands.) What?! They said they were NSA, and knew all about Sloth’s untested plan. They wanted the blueprint or they were going to lock me up!

Smalls: Well you’re correct in one part. The NSA will lock you up, that is, if you don’t help us find those blueprints.

(Suddenly, a bright blue burst of light causes Smalls to cover his eyes. When he opens them, Marcus is laying on the ground, apparently asleep. Smalls turns to see a shadowy figure standing not more then ten steps away on Marcus’s muddy overgrown lawn.)

Smalls: (Wide eyed and astounded.) Who the! What was that thing?

(The Misery (a grey Gelert) remains unmoving with a small Sleep Ray in his hands. His sad frown covers most of his face.)

The Misery: (In a depressing tone.) Sleep Ray, the best Neopoints can buy.

Smalls: (Shocked.) Those aren’t allowed in Neopia! They were banned more then a year ago.

The Misery: (Uninterested.) Do something about it. My name is ‘The Misery’! My world is engulfed in an unending sadness. Hurry, end it please…

(The Misery raises his Sleep Ray and fires a blast in Smalls' direction. Smalls dodges by jumping to the side as a blue stream of light narrowly misses. Smalls sees that The Misery isn’t playing around and quickly returns fire with his standard issue Fungus Ray. The fight continues for less then a minute when Smalls' blaster suddenly runs out of ammo.)

Smalls: (Glances at his ray.) What?! I thought they fixed this problem. (He hits the side of the ray with his free hand.)

The Misery: Maybe next time you should check your equipment before you head out into the field. (He fires off another blast and forces Smalls to take cover around the side of the Neohome.)

(Smalls waits a moment, and then peaks out to find The Misery and Marcus gone. Blackout.)

Act 2 – Scene 1

Setting: Somewhere aboard the Virtupets Space Station. The spacious room is empty save for a desk and chair. A makeshift computer sits facing towards the chair, which is turned from the audience’s view.

(The Misery, The Fate (a white Kyrii) and The Hatred (a fire Eyrie) stand facing the desk.)

The Misery: (To the desk.) The subject was taken care of. What is the next phase of the plan, boss?

The Patience: (Not turning around in the chair.) Simple, we need to collect the needed materials to complete Sloth’s unfinished and untested project. With the project complete, our grasp on Neopia will be absolute.

The Misery: An NSA agent was there, attempting to pick up the subject before I arrived. (Pause.) I don’t believe the agent learned anything.

The Patience: That is good to hear. We wouldn’t want the NSA snooping around when the project is still in the beginning stages.

The Fate: (With her eyes closed.) The agent ‘The Misery’ met will cause trouble in the near future. I believe it is in our best interest to remove him from the picture.

The Patience: How precisely do you suggest going about that?

The Fate: (Shaking her head.) It is cloudy, but I believe our team can do the job while you complete the project. We will do everything not to involve you.

The Patience: (Turning the chair slightly.) That is good to hear. The NSA must never learn of my identity. At least not until after the completion of the project.

The Hatred: (Closing his hands into balled fists.) Allow me, boss; I will crush these NSA mutts with a single blow. The Neopia Security Agency will feel the fury in which our team can deliver.

(A hand rises from the seat.)

The Patience: The team has one chance. If your mission fails, then the project fails. Unlike my code name suggests, I do not have patience for failure.

(The Hatred and The Misery leave through the office's only door.)

The Fate: (Turning her head towards the door.) You already know what going to happen, don’t you?

The Patience: There are always losses in the pursuit of a greater good.

The Fate: (Turning to face the door.) Even with the uncertainty of your project's completion?

The Patience: You’ve already foreseen my victory; don’t attempt to sway my means of conducting my team!

The Fate: As you wish. You are, of course, the boss.

The Patience: If you have something to say, just say it. I tire of your double talk.

The Fate: I’ll tell you when the time is right. (Pause.) I’ve seen where I need to be to insure our victory. If I delay, we may fail.

(The Patience says nothing, and after a minute The Fate leaves. Blackout.)

Act 2 – Scene 2

Setting: A large warehouse somewhere in downtown Neopia Central. The warehouse itself is packed from wall to wall with assorted boxes and crates of every size imaginable. The lights are off, but a faint glow of the daylight from the outside is cast inwards through small horizontal windows near where the walls and ceiling meet.

(Gabe and Smalls slowly make their way into the warehouse and then take cover behind a large container.)

Smalls: (With Fungus Ray in hand.) You sure about that information you received?

Gabe: (Nodding.) I’m one hundred percent sure. When we did a follow up search of Marcus’s house, it seems he stashed half of Sloth’s plans somewhere in this warehouse. He was planning on cashing in more after he sold the first piece.

Smalls: (Peeking out from behind the container.) I just hope the Chief was right about this, I have this nagging feeling we’re doing the wrong thing.

Gabe: (Chuckling.) Calm down, rookie, I won’t let the big bad criminals hurt you.

Smalls: (Frowning.) Can we focus on our work? Where is the storage unit Marcus was using?

Gabe: (Glancing around.) I think it was somewhere on the east wing. (Pause.) Or was that west… I knew I should have copied the information down.

Smalls: (Sighing.) I guess we’ll have to split up. Just call if you need anything.

Gabe: (Chuckling.) Shout like a baby Uni if you run into anything.

(The two agents split up and head towards the opposite ends of the warehouse. They don’t notice The Hatred and The Misery hiding on a pile of large wooden crates in the corner. The Misery follows Gabe while The Hatred tags after Smalls. Smalls turns around when he hears Gabe suddenly shout for help.)

Gabe: (Calling from somewhere in the warehouse.) Smalls, watch out-!

(His warning is cut short as a bright blue light fills the depot and causes Smalls to squint. When the light fades, The Hatred is blocking his path.)

The Hatred: (His mouth turns into a sneer.) Going somewhere?

Smalls: (Takes a step back.) Who exactly are you and what did you do to Gabe?

The Hatred: (Tilts his head to the side.) Gabe’s no longer of your concern, and thanks to The Misery, our concern.

Smalls: (Shocked.) You’ve got to be kidding me!

The Hatred: (Glaring at Smalls.) Sorry Mr. Smalls, but we don’t kid around. Especially when it comes to our work. (He pulls out an enormous Neutralising Ray.)

Smalls: (Realizing.) You’re one of The Patience’s team members!

The Hatred: (Starts to laugh.) That is correct. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Hatred. I will crush you with the anger that is like an inferno within my body. My rage will obliterate the NSA and all who stand in our way!

(At this, The Hatred quickly raises his gigantic Neutralising Ray and begins to fire it rapidly in Smalls' direction. Without hesitating, Smalls quickly maneuvers himself behind a storage bin, which in seconds explodes into pieces of wood and metal.)

Smalls: (Dives behind another container and shouts over the barrage from The Hatred.) You are under arrest. You are firing on a NSA agent. I order you to lower your weapon!

The Hatred: (Shouting back.) Order this!

(Smalls fires his Fungus Ray blindly over the container, forcing The Hatred to cease-fire. The Hatred takes a position less then fifteen steps from Smalls and begins this attack once more. Smalls returns fire in his pervious manner.)

Smalls: (Yelling.) I can keep this up all day!

The Hatred: (Laughing.) I only need to keep this up for another minute.

(Suspicious, Smalls quickly begins to search his immediate surroundings and quickly spots a flash of grey moving between and around the crates and boxes. Crawling slowly, Smalls makes his way towards The Misery and then stands up, back against a pile of unused Valentine’s gifts. As he expected, The Misery steps out, hoping to catch Smalls in his original position.)

Smalls: (Raising his Fungus Ray and shouting as loud as he can.) Freeze!

(The Misery turns abruptly with his Sleep Ray in hand and begins firing off rounds. Smalls fires off a single blast towards The Misery and catches him in the leg, causing the grey Gelert to stumble to the ground and drop his Sleep Ray. Smalls continues to level his Fungus Ray towards The Misery.)

The Misery: (Not looking up.) End my suffering. Put me out of my misery. The Hatred has left me; I am no longer of use.

Smalls: (Lowering his weapon.) You’re of use to the NSA.


Act 2 – Scene 3

Setting: The NSA’s interrogation room. The walls are painted a thick white and the room is empty except for a silver colored metal table and two chairs. A bright light hangs overhead.

(The Misery sits in a chair across from Smalls. Chief is waiting by the door.)

Smalls: (His tone is filled with anger and he slams his fist on the table.) Where is Gabe!

The Misery: (With his head down.) It doesn’t matter now.

Smalls: (Standing up and kicking his chair back.) It does matter! We have the other half of the plans! You and your leader will never finish the tests without it.

The Misery: (Glancing up at this news.) What exactly are you suggesting?

Smalls: Give us back our agent and we’ll give you the other half of the plans.

The Misery: (Sighing.) It’s not that easy. The rest of the team must already know you have the rest of the plans, and it won’t be long until they come looking for you.

Smalls: (Raising his Voice.) Tell us where Gabe is! Where are you hiding him!

(The Misery looks back down as Smalls begins to yell.)

Smalls: Where? Krawk Island? (Pause.) No? Meridell? NO?

The Misery: You’ll never find him, or our team.

Smalls: Why not? Where is your base of operations!?

The Misery: (Sighing.) It is not of this planet.

Smalls: (He thinks and then looks towards the ceiling.) You’ve got to be kidding me.

Chief: (Stepping away from the doorway.) It’s possible. The team has many ties to Sloth. It’s not unlikely they would still have resources somewhere aboard that space station.

Smalls: (Turning to the Chief.) What do you think we should do?

Chief: Bait them. We need to get their half of the plans. Our friend here is right; they’ll come looking, and very soon at that. You need to wait for them, pick a location and stay there.

Smalls: I know a place… It’ll give me an advantage.

Chief: Good, head there now.

Smalls: (Pointing to The Misery.) What about him?

Chief: The NSA will handle him. Most likely he’ll end up in a prison over in Meridell. You’ve done well so far, Smalls. We all want to get Gabe back safe and sound, but at the moment, The Patience is a bigger threat.

Smalls: (Nodding.) I understand.

(Smalls leaves the room and the Chief turns to face The Misery. Blackout.)

Act 3 – Scene 1

Setting: The historical section of Neopia Central. The buildings here are disheveled and decaying. The sun is beginning its downward descent as it sets along the horizon. A large fountain is in the middle of the old town square, but hasn’t been turned on in years.

(Smalls makes his way towards the fountain and sits.)

Smalls: (To himself as he looks up at the stars which are starting to appear in the darkening sky.) Nice night out.

The Fate: (From somewhere in the shadows.) I’d like to keep it that way.

(Smalls stands up and quickly spins around, searching for the location of the Voice. He removes his Fungus Ray as he does so.)

Smalls: Whose there?

The Fate: Who else would know you’d show up at this location?

Smalls: (Turning towards an old food store.) I’d have to guess it’s the only one on the team with an uncanny ability to foresee future events.

The Fate: I don’t foresee anything, as I know what will happen. Where are the rest of the plans?

Smalls: (Smiling.) Straight to the point eh?

The Fate: I’d prefer to keep our meeting short. If I don’t… someone may get hurt-

(A sudden ambush from a Neutralising Ray interrupts The Fate’s sentence. Smalls turns in the direction of the attack and can barely make out The Hatred crouching near a collapsed Postal Office. Smalls returns fire and takes cover kneeling behind the fountain. The Hatred’s weapon picks up speed and begins to take out pieces of the stone the fountain is made of. Smalls quickly studies The Hatred’s surroundings and notices large amount of debris barely hanging on over the head of his foe. Taking careful aim, Smalls fires a blast of his Fungus Ray, but misses.)

The Hatred: (Shouting.) With an aim like that, it’s a wonder they let you in the NSA at all! (He laughs.) Prepare for the end!

(Smalls changes his position and makes his way around to the other side of the fountain. Quickly aiming again, he fires.)

Smalls: (Shouting back.) Like that shot?

(The Hatred stops firing as he sees Smalls fire another blast over his head. Glancing up, he watches in dismay as pieces of the old Postal Office’s exterior begin to fall.)

The Hatred: (Quickly.) The Fate! You lied to me-!

(The Hatred turns to run but is caught under the falling wood. Smalls turns around to see The Fate lying on her back.)

Smalls: (Rushing next to The Fate.) What happened?

The Fate: (Coughing lightly.) One of The Hatred’s straying shots got me. He never did like me very much.

Smalls: (Hastily.) Where’s Gabe? Where are you keeping him?

The Fate: (Questioning.) You mean... you didn’t know?

Smalls: (Confused.) What? What do you mean by that.

The Fate: Gabe’s… not whom you think… (Coughs.) I thought you knew.

Smalls: Who is Gabe then? Is Gabe ‘The Patience’?

The Fate: (Laughs and then coughs.) No…Gabe would never take on such a job, (Coughs.) he likes to have one person in front of him on the plank.

(The Fate lays her head back and closes her eyes. Smalls, confused, looks at The Fate one more time, and then turns to leave. Blackout.)

Act 3 – Epilogue

Setting: Somewhere aboard the Virtupets Space Station. The room is dark, and a lone figure stands in the middle of the room next to a computer.

(Gabe reads as he types his message.)

Gabe: No, Mama, the subject escaped. (Pause.) Yes, Mama, he still has the other half of the plans. Yes, Mama, I will send the second team to track him down. (Pause.) No, Mama, they do not know you were involved. No, Mama, I do not believe the subject knows you are ‘The Patience’. Yes, Mama, I thank you for letting me take on such a responsibility, and can assure you, I will not fail. (Pause.) It’s always a pleasure talking to you, Chief.


The End

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