White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 196,565,798 Issue: 926 | 29th day of Sleeping, Y23
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Neopia Central: The Musical!

by rielcz


Act 1

      Scene 1: Neopia Central (main, winter), with some shops and Money Tree visible.

     Band vamps from “Overture”.

     Curtains open.

     Lights fade in.

     Many extras (choir) walk onstage from both sides. Extras, dressed in light winter clothing, walk about the stage, bustling around, talking about random things.

     Extras align themselves into a formation on stage and sing and do a lightly choreographed dance.

     Band plays “Overture” (big choir show tune).

     EXTRAS: (sung, in chorus) Neopia Central!

      The centre of our earth!

      Constantly filling us with

      Both sorrow and mirth!

      An economic centre,

      With strong cultural roots!

      But good luck if you’re a renter,

      Or just want to commute!

      When you live in a megacity

      Like this,

      There’s always something new

      But something new to dismiss!

      Trying to make our way up

      The social ladder sucks,

      When inflation and the Tax Beast

      Come and take away your bucks!

      From all around ‘pets come to visit

      And sightsee,

      To shop, paint, stare – though we don’t get it –

      Must fill them with glee!

      Though despite all its shortcomings

      Some ‘pets move here to live—!

      And yet for us to get away

      Oh what we wouldn’t give!



      Excitement and thrills,

      You know we’re all in!

      At the very least

      We’ve a point of common cheer—

      We can gloat to tourists

      That we get to live here!





      Here in Neopia Central!

     EXTRA: (solo, prose) If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!

     Extras walk about the stage, bustling around, and then make their way walking offstage in both directions.

     Band stops.

     Lights fade to black.

     Scene 2: Neopia Central (main, winter), with some shops and Money Tree visible.

     Band vamps from “Here I Am in Neopia Central”.

     Lights fade in.

     Lyle (baritone-tenor), an island Kacheek dressed in moderate winter wear, dances onstage from stage right and walks about the stage.

     LYLE: (spoken word) It’s a brand new year,

      It’s a brand new me!

      Finally I’m moving here,

      To the big city!

      I’m gonna make my dreams come true!

     Band plays “Here I Am in Neopia Central” (jaunty show tune).

     LYLE: (sung) I’m finally here! At Neopia Central.

      Th’ excitement sheer! Could really drive me mental!

      For it is here that my dreams will come true!

      And I will make my acting debut!

      I’ve trained for years, back on Mystery Island.

      Through toil and tears, stayed top of every trend!

      And like the greats who have come before me,

      Neopia Central is where I will be!

     Lyle walks around stage.

     LYLE: (sung) Recognition, fortune, and fame!

      My idea of fun!

      All bright lights will hold my name—

      Known by ev’ryone!

      I’ve dreamed of this place

      Since I was a child!

      It’s even more magnificent

      With my own eyes!

      Neopia Central, brace

      Yourself – I will go wild!

      Racing through your streets and shops

      And saying hi to passersby!

     Extra 1 and Extra 2 enter from stage left.

     LYLE: (prose, overexcitedly) Howdy!

     Extra 1 and Extra 2 tip their hats back cautiously but otherwise hastily scurry off and exit stage right.

     LYLE: (sung) I can’t wait to see

      Who I’ll meet—

      On my first steps

      On my journey to

      Neopia’s acting elite!

     Band stops.

     LYLE: What a most excellent day!

     Morgan (alto), a purple Xweetok dressed very fashionably and in-season, enters from stage left, clearly frenzied.

     MORGAN: Ugh, tell me about it. You’re obviously new in the city, aren’t you?

     LYLE: (curious) Why yes, how can you tell?

     MORGAN: (annoyed) Hmph, your innocent spirit isn’t broken yet.

     LYLE: (frowning) Why, what’s happened to you?

     Band vamps from “Morgan’s Sob Song / Main Montage”.

     MORGAN: (sighing) Sorry, we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. I’m Morgan, or Mo for short. I moved here about two months ago.

     LYLE: (cheery) Nice to meet you Morgan, I’m Lyle, or… I guess ‘L for short, heh. What’s your story?

     Band plays “Morgan’s Sob Song / Main Montage” (moderate patter song / show tune).

     MORGAN: (sung) Oh, since I was a little girl I hoped that I would be

      The best fashion designer that the world would ever see!

      So I swallowed all my fear,

      And I took my chances here!

      To Neopia Central, leaving Faerieland behind me.

      I walked straight to the Clothing Shop and showed off to Faboo.

      A dress or patterned hat, my prettiest design or two!

      S/he gave one glance at my work,

      And with a scowl filled with irk,

      Said, “don't come back ‘till you get better!” and then we were through.

      I’ve practiced and revised my skills and still I want to shout!

      ‘Cause none seems too keen to help a beginner like me out.

     LYLE: (sung, concerned) Aw, well what can I do,

      So that I may help you?

     MORGAN: (sung, smiling) You’re sweet but instead I should teach you how to get about.

     Band vamps from “Morgan’s Sob Song / Main Montage” as scene changes to a mix of Neopia Central (main, winter), the Bazaar, and the Plaza. Lyle and Morgan walk around.

     Band continues “Morgan’s Sob Song / Main Montage” as Morgan walks about the scene and Lyle follows. Morgan points out the highlights as she sings them.

     MORGAN: (sung) When you’re down on your luck, the Money Tree is your friend.

      And the Thrift Shoppe’s the place when your thread’s at their bare end.

      Steer clear of the Kadoatery to save your precious ears.

      The Factory’s chocolate is good to help stave off the tears!

      And if you get your fame and fortune the bank will love you—

      But if you’re like me coming here is not something you do.

      And though it’s not the most swell,

      Right there is the Wishing Well—

      Though I’m not sure if you can just wish your dreams to come true.

      That Movie Theatre doubles as a playhouse, by the way.

     LYLE: (sung, curious) So that is where I’ll have auditions, where I’ll make my way

      Through the theatrical thrill,

      Until I’m the top bill!

     MORGAN: (sung, caring, bemusedly) But stick with me ‘till you’re there, boy, I’ll show you where to stay.

     Band vamps from “Morgan’s Sob Song / Main Montage”.

     MORGAN: (prose) You can bunk beside me here at the NeoLodge. The cheap rooms suck, but they sure beat sleeping out in the cold. (smirking) I’ll even teach you how to kill the cockroaches!

     LYLE: (prose, groaning inwardly) Oh my… what have I gotten myself into.

     MORGAN: Why, Lyle, you’ve gotten yourself here! And you know what they all say – (semi-sarcastically) if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

     LYLE and MORGAN: (sung, in chorus) Here in Neopia Central!

     Lyle and Morgan do a brief choreographed dance and then skip up to the NeoLodge.

     Band stops.

     Lights fade to black.

     Scene 3: Interior of Cockroach Towers Hotel Room

     Lyle, in a modest outfit, is sitting at a desk at centre stage reading a script.

     Spotlight fades in on Lyle.

     LYLE: (confidently) Would a Magenorb by any other name smell as sweet?

     Lights fade in on full set, showing the trashy room in its full lack of glory.

     Morgan enters from stage right.

     MORGAN: (casually) Yo ‘L, I just stopped in to let you know that a super generous Neopian donated a slew of Neopoints to the Money Tree today – I managed to get enough for both our rents here for the rest of the month!

     LYLE: (appreciatively) One day, Mo, you and I won’t have to live in this divey dump. (smiling) Someday soon I’m sure!

     Morgan approaches Lyle.

     MORGAN: (curious) Oh? Practicing for an audition?

     LYLE: (excitedly) You bet! There was an open casting call, and I have an audition today for the Neopian Players’ rendition of Hanso and Brynn: How a Thief Stole a Heart.

     MORGAN: (squeeing) Eee, you’ve only been here two weeks and already you’re making your way on up!

     LYLE: (grinning) Yeah! (frowning) You know, I’d better be heading there now – I don’t wanna be late.

     MORGAN: (smiling) You go do that. Good luck my friend!

     Morgan places the Neopoints down at the desk and exits stage right.

     Band vamps from “Making My Way” as Lyle dances around the stage. Scene changes to Neopia Central (main, winter).

     Band plays “Making My Way” (ostentatious show tune).

     LYLE: (sung) I’m making my way to my first audition!

      My first step toward fame and recognition!

      Acceptance in a flash,

      Neopoints and ‘cash!

      All I have to do is be daring and brash!

      I’ll get the lead role – Hanso I will be cast!

      To start my career, and stardom to last!

      I’m worldly, refined,

      Autographs signed,

      Soon this glorious life will be mine!

     Band vamps from “Making My Way” as Lyle dances around across the stage. Scene changes behind him to the Movie Theatre Main Stage.

     Band abruptly stops.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Lyle, auditioning for Hanso.

     LYLE: (confidently) Would—

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) NEXT!

     Lyle looks baffled, and then hangs his head and exits stage left. Band vamps from “Making My Way” as the scene changes back to Neopia Central (main, winter). Lyle enters stage right.

     Band continues “Making My Way” (now melancholy).

     LYLE: (sung) I’m making my way back to my ugly room!

      Disappointment and failure over my head looms.

      With a heavy heart,

      Guess that wasn’t the start,

      Of my fabulous career in performing art!

     Band vamps from “Making My Way” as Lyle walks drearily back and forth across the stage. Scene changes behind him to Interior of Cockroach Towers Hotel Room.

     Band abruptly stops.

     Morgan enters from stage right and sees Lyle look melancholy.

     MORGAN: (empathetically) Aw… I can see from your face how it went. I empathize with you, I really do.

     Morgan hugs Lyle. Lyle hugs back.

     LYLE: (sniffling) I really thought I had it. But they wouldn’t even let me get two words in!

     MORGAN: (sighing) Trust me, I know the feeling.

     Lyle and Morgan release each other.

     MORGAN: (smirking) But you should also be glad that I’m a pessimist.

     Morgan releases Lyle. Morgan brings out a box of chocolates that she’d been hiding behind her back and gives them to Lyle.

     MORGAN: (flatly) My latest design again got rejected, so I hopped off to the Chocolate Factory earlier today. (smirking) I figured I’d pick up a box for you, too.

     LYLE: (forlorn but smiling) You’re a terrible but great friend. Thank you, Morgan.

     MORGAN: (warmly) Of course.

     Band continues “Making My Way” (jaunty show tune version).

     Lyle and Morgan dance about each other in a choreographed fashion.

     LYLE: (sung) But I won’t give up! I will try a bunch more.

      Because my dreams are worth fighting for!

     MORGAN: (sung) Sing it big and loud,

      Go and make me proud!

     LYLE: (sung) And I know you will shine,

      With your awesome designs!

     LYLE and MORGAN: (sung, in chorus) Encouragement is the best help sometimes!

     Band vamps from “Making My Way”.

     MORGAN: (sung) You know what they say!

     LYLE: (prose) If you can make it here, you can make it—

     MORGAN: (prose) No silly the other thing!

     LYLE: (prose) Oh yeah!

     LYLE and MORGAN: (sung, in chorus) Put your mind and hard work to it

      And you will make your way!

     Band stops.

     Lights fade to black.

     Scene 4: Movie Theatre Main Stage (some seating visible)

     Lyle is in the middle of the stage. Zach (baritone), a disco Bori dressed in dark clothing, sits on a chair in the visible seating area on stage left.

     Lights fade in.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Lyle, auditioning for Narrator.

     LYLE: Once upon a time, there was a shepherd named Samrin. He lived in a small NeoHome with his uncle and aunt. Each evening they sat by the fireplace and told stories about Balthazar.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Alright Lyle. NEXT!

     Lyle sighs.

     Lights off, spotlight on Lyle.

     Band plays “The Fail Song” (moderate defeated show tune).

     LYLE: (sung) I stand right on the stage,

      Filled with constant rage,

      Because all my auditions

      Turn to nothing!

      I try to keep my spirits high

      And focus on improving my-

      Self yet my auditions

      Turn to nothing!

      A week goes by

      And a month goes by,

      ‘Nother month goes by,

      Oh how I try!

      Though I think that I

      Have gotten better,

      I’m ever denied

      An acceptance letter!

      Now I stand here proudly singing

      My fail song!

      But soon I’ll find the play in which

      I belong!

     Lights fade in.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage, annoyed) Lyle, get off the stage already.

     Lyle heavily sighs and steps off the stage.

     Zach snickers at Lyle. Lyle casts Zach a dirty look.

     ZACH: (playfully) Sorry mate, I just think you’re kinda funny. But don’t lose hope, I have faith in you.

     Lyle gives Zach a small smile.

     Band vamps from “The Fail Song” as Lyle walks about and then off the Movie Theatre Main Stage stage, exiting stage right. Scene changes to Interior of Cockroach Towers Hotel Room.

     Morgan enters stage left and stands at centre stage.

     Band stops.

     Lyle enters stage right and walks to Morgan.

     LYLE: (huffs) Welp, again – not today.

     MORGAN: Aww.

     Morgan walks over and hugs Lyle.

     MORGAN: You’ve been here 3 months and regularly have auditions – look of me, I’ve a whole month up on you and Faboo STILL won’t even talk to me.

     Morgan releases Lyle.

     LYLE: (smiling) You’ll get your big break soon. I have faith in you.

     MORGAN: (inquisitively) Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you about that… You’re from Mystery Island, right?

     LYLE: (curiously) Yeah, why?

     MORGAN: (grinning) Island fashion is totally IN right now. I was wondering whether I could pick your brain over some fashion thoughts for a proposed summer collection I wanna design.

     LYLE: (smiling) Sure!

     MORGAN: (squeeing) Perfect! With any luck THAT will be my ticket to my apprenticeship at the Clothing Shop!

     Band continues “The Fail Song”.

     MORGAN: (sung) Though I think that I

      Have gotten better too,

      I’m ever denied

      A session with Faboo!

      But hopefully that with your help

      That won’t be long!

     LYLE and MORGAN: (sung, in chorus) But until then we’ll just keep singing

      Our fail song!

      At least we can commiserate

      Until our lives are great!

     Band stops.

     Lights fade to black.

     Scene 5: Movie Theatre Main Stage (some seating visible)

     Lyle, dressed in Tyrannian garb, is in the middle of the stage. Zach, dressed in dark clothing, sits on a chair in the visible seating area on stage left.

     Lights fade in.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Lyle, auditioning for Tyrannian General Crustygums II.

     LYLE: (sung) I am the archetype of a new Tyrannian General,

      I’ve information Acko Ugga, Sauropod, and stone table,

      I know the line of succession from every great Obelisk War;

      From om’lette to Monoceraptor I’ve learned all our nation’s lore!

      I’m very well acquainted too with matters of the Concert Hall

      I understand the Philharmonic, Yes Boys, and those Fungus Balls!

      About our land’s attractions great I hold much knowledge touristy—

      With many cheerful facts about that old Wheel of Monotony!

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Alright Lyle, I’ve heard enough, thanks. We’ll NeoMail you if you get the part.

     Lyle smiles weakly and nods.

     LYLE: (appreciative but clearly defeated) Thanks.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) NEXT!

     Lyle walks and sits down on a chair beside Zach. Zach smiles and nods at Lyle. They have a conversation as Lyle removes the heavier parts of his costume.

     LYLE: (curious) I’ve seen you around these casting calls a few times, now. You auditioning for General Crustygums II, too?

     ZACH: (grinning) Nope, don’t worry mate, I’m not your competition.

     LYLE: Phew.

     ZACH: I’m just here to watch the carnage.

     LYLE: (crestfallen) Oh… am I really that bad?

     ZACH: (apologetic) Oh no, I’m so sorry! I’m just a bit… abrasive at times, is all, heh.

     LYLE: (smirking) Reminds of someone else I know. But she’s been working on it.

     ZACH: (smiling) I actually think you’re one of the better newbies here. I’ll be honest, I thought you’d have gotten a part in one of these plays or musicals already.

     LYLE: (smiling) Well, I appreciate that, anyway. My name’s Lyle. I moved here from Mystery Island almost 4 months ago, chasing my dream of becoming a big-name actor. (slumps) Though so far that dream is still a dream.

     Band vamps from “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”.

     ZACH: (casually) I’m Zach. But hey, if I can make my dreams come true, I know you can too.

     LYLE: (impressed) You’ve made your dream come true?

     Band plays “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top” (rock / dance song).

     ZACH: (sung) I came here ‘bout 8 months back,

      A Brightvale U grad on the attack!

      A sound and lighting BFA,

      And I thought I would just make my way!

      But only last month don’t you know,

      I got my first job lighting for a tiny show.

      I’m not yet quite where I wanna be,

      But at least there’s a road ahead that I see!

     Band vamps from “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”.

     LYLE: (prose) Wow, Zach, that’s super inspiring to finally meet someone who’s even close to “making it” here in Neopia Central!

     Band continues “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”.

     ZACH: (sung) Why thank you, boy, I hope that you

      One day will make it here too!

      And you can put on a show, you know how to croon,

      I’m sure your big break will happen soon!

     Band abruptly stops.

     Casting Director, a blue Quiggle, enters from stage right and faces Lyle.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: Hi, Mr.… Lyle, is it? Well, I wanted to tell you, though I don’t think you’d make General Crustygums II proud, I DO have a character in mind for you. We’re doing a closed casting call for Goldrun! near the end of this month – care to audition for Kauboy Twisty? Consider this your formal invitation.

     Lyle looks flabbergasted, and slowly emerges into a victory pose.

     LYLE: (excitedly) Yes yes yes!

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (a bit perturbed by the excitement) OK, sure. I’ll NeoMail you the details soon.

     Casting Director exits stage right.

     Band continues “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”.

     LYLE: (sung) Why you were right, my turn has come!

     ZACH: (sung) I’m sure it won’t be the only one!

     LYLE: (prose, excited) Finally! Now I can head back to the NeoLodge and study my part!

     ZACH: (prose, curious) Oh, you’re staying there too right now? What hotel?

     LYLE: (prose, sheepishly) Er, Cockroach Towers.

     ZACH: (sung) Well that’s nothing to be ashamed of, sir!

      It might be drab but I stay there too.

     LYLE: (sung) Wait, why don’t you seek better,

      For a moneymaker like you?

     ZACH: (spoken word) I might be now just making my way,

      But I’ve still student loans to pay!

     LYLE: (prose) Ugh! (sung) Well in that case,

      I will race you back

      To that dreary place!

     Lyle and Zach dance about the stage as they sing their actions. Meanwhile, the scene changes back to Neopia Central (main, spring/summer)

     ZACH: (sung) It’s just a hop over there!

     LYLE: (sung) And a sharp left turn!

     ZACH: (sung) Throw your hands in the air!

     LYLE and ZACH: (sung, in chorus) Jump up – feel that burn!

     ZACH: (sung) Rock it to the top!

     LYLE: (sung) Let your hands and knees drop!

     ZACH: (sung) Jump up and turn again—

     LYLE and ZACH: (sung, in chorus) Now you’re doing the Rocket my friend!

     LYLE: (sung) Rocket to the top!

     ZACH: (sung) Never stop!

     LYLE and ZACH: (sung, in chorus) Gotta feel that beat beat bop!

     Band vamps from “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”.

     Lyle and Zach move around the stage as many extras and Jazz Man enter from both stage directions. Whilst Jazz Man plans a saxophone solo of “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top” in time with the band, the extras, Lyle, and Zach do a highly choreographed version of the Rocket. Extras and Jazz Man exit both stage directions.

     ZACH: (spoken word) I’m glad I talked to you,

      Another with big dreams, too.

      The city’s huge, and I am not.

      I feel lonely here a lot.

     LYLE: (spoken word) Hey I’m glad to have met you, man,

      I’ll count you among my first fans!

      (sung) And be your friend; we’ll never stop

      Our mission to the top!

     Band vamps from “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”. Lyle and Zach exit stage right as the scene changes to Interior of Cockroach Towers Hotel Room. Morgan enters from stage left and stands at centre stage.

     Band stops.

     Lyle and Zach enter from stage right.

     LYLE: (excitedly) Morgan!

     MORGAN: (seeing the excitement and trying to match it) Lyle! Your audition went well?

     LYLE: (excitedly) No!

     MORGAN: (surprised) Oh… (a bit sad) what happened, then?

     LYLE: (excitedly) I got invited to a closed casting call for Goldrun! at the end of this month!

     MORGAN: (squeeing) That’s amazing! (dreamy) Goldrun! is my favourite classical musical, too! That Kauboy Twisty sure is something. (snapped back to reality) Er…

     Morgan notices Zach and nods to him.

     MORGAN: And you made a friend, Lyle! (to Zach) I’m Morgan, or Mo for short. I moved here almost 5 months ago trying to get my start in the fashion industry. Who are you?

     ZACH: Oh, hi Mo, I’m Zach, or Zachary for long. I do sound and lighting at some of the smaller productions at the Theatre, but it’s my dream to run a big production of a famous play or musical. How’s the fashion industry treating you?

     MORGAN: (happily) Until today, not the best. (to Lyle) Lyle, thanks again for your design ideas last month. Those Mystery Island aesthetics you helped me with – as you know, I infused some of them into my designs. Well, I submitted them to Faboo, and s/he told me that I’m finally beginning to come up with something “stylish and worthy of attention!”

     LYLE: (excitedly) That’s amazing, Mo!

     ZACH: (grinning) Yeah! Congrats my new amigo!

     MORGAN: (squeeing) I have a formal interview as the Clothing Shop apprentice at the end of this month – between you and me, it’ll be a busy end of the month, wow! But still, I definitely couldn’t have done it without you.

     Morgan hugs Lyle. Lyle hugs back.

     LYLE: (happily) I’m so happy for you! I know that’ll go great.

     Lyle and Morgan release each other.

     ZACH: Well done me mates! What do you say we all treat ourselves? The NeoLodge has an inexpensive Burger Bar downstairs. (proudly) Building my own burgers has always been a passion of mine.

     MORGAN: Splendid idea!

     LYLE: Sounds most excellent to me!

     Band continues “Rock It (Rocket) to the Top”.

     Lyle, Morgan, and Zach start doing a choreographed version of the Rocket.

     LYLE, MORGAN, and ZACH: (sung, in chorus) We’ll never stop

      Rockin’ it

      On our rocket

      Straight to the top!

     Band stops.

     Lights fade to black.

     Scene 6: Interior of Cockroach Towers Hotel Room

     Lights fade in.

     Lyle paces around the stage, reciting some lines from Goldrun! and looking very frenzied.

     Morgan and Zach walk in from stage right. Morgan is dressed in fashionable summery clothing, and Zach is dressed in dark summery clothing.

     ZACH: (supportively) How’re you doing, bud?

     LYLE: (harriedly) I’ll admit, I’m not in the best mindset. What if I mess up!? Or worse – I do everything perfect and the casting director STILL doesn’t want me in the musical?

     Morgan walks over and gives Lyle a hug. Lyle hugs back.

     MORGAN: (calmly) ‘L, don’t be stressed. You’ve got this.

     Lyle smiles at Morgan.

     MORGAN: Ever since you arrived in Neopia Central at the start of the year, you’ve been a good – great – friend to me.

     Lyle and Morgan release each other.

     ZACH: (grinning) Me too! I mean, we’ve only really known each other for a month, but you’re just one of those guys I instantly clicked with. It’s been fun to hear about you and learn about stage matters from a real-life actor type. And of course, watching you several times during your earlier auditions – it’s clear to me that you have skills.

     Lyle grins at them.

     ZACH: (semi-sarcastically) And it’s clear to me that you’re a funny little guy, haha.

     Zach pats Lyle on the head. Lyle growls playfully.

     MORGAN: (smiling) Anyway, we have a surprise for you.

     Morgan pulls out a kauboy costume and gives it to Lyle.

     MORGAN: (grinning) I worked the past few weekends on this. I think it’ll add some authenticity to your audition.

     ZACH: (smiling) I helped pay for some of those costume materials. And I’ll run the lights for you! I’ll make you look even better than you will with just that costume!

     Lyle starts to tear up.

     LYLE: Aw, you guys are the best!

     Lyle hugs Morgan and Zach, who hug back.

     Band vamps lighthearted music.

     Lyle, Morgan, and Zach release the hug.

     MORGAN: Now breathe, relax.

     ZACH: Remember, you’ve got this.

     LYLE: (determinedly) I do. I do got this. I also got the two best friends a guy could ask for. I am so happy to have you both here, (sung) here in Neopia Central!

     Morgan and Zach chuckle.

     LYLE: I won’t let you two down. I promise.

     MORGAN: (grinning) Just be you, and I know you won’t.

     ZACH: (beaming) Now let’s grab an early supper at the Burger Bar before heading to your audition later this evening.

     MORGAN: (smiling) Splendid idea.

     LYLE: (elatedly) Onward!

     Lyle, Morgan, and Zach exit stage right.

     Lights fade to black.

     Band stops.

     Scene 7: Movie Theatre Main Stage (some seating visible)

     Lyle is in the middle of the Main Stage, wearing Morgan’s kauboy costume. Morgan sits on chairs in the visible seating area on stage left.

     Lights fade in.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Lyle, auditioning for Kauboy Twisty.

     Lights fade to black, except for a spotlight on Lyle. Lyle moves about the stage, and spotlight moves with him.

     Band starts playing “Oh what a Glorious Evenin’”.

     LYLE: (sung) The sunset has gilded the horizon,

      The sunset has gilded the horizon.

      The sand shimmers bright in the last rays’ gold light,

      And soon the saloon will host dancing delight!

      Oh what a glorious evenin’!

      Oh what a glorious night!

      I have a glorious feelin’!

      Everything will be alright.

      Sheriff Ellie patrols down the Main Street,

      Sheriff Ellie patrols down the Main Street.

      She tips her kaugirl hat as she sees me ride past

      The General Store to the Parlour at last!

      Oh what a glorious evenin’!

      Oh what a glorious night!

      I have a glorious feelin’!

      Everything will be alright.

     Band stops.

     Lights fade in.

     Morgan stands and whistles her approval.

     MORGAN: Woo! That was awesome!

     LYLE: (beaming) Thank you!

     Lyle bows and walks to the seating area, joining Morgan.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) Alright Lyle, thanks.

     LYLE: (excited) How’d I do?

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (offstage) You did well!

     Casting Director walks onstage from stage right and faces Lyle.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (matter-of-factly) However, I think we will be going in a different direction.

     Lyle’s face and body starts to figuratively crumble.

     CASTING DIRECTOR: (matter-of-factly) Maybe an understudy… but please keep yourself open to future opportunities nevertheless.

     Casting director exits stage right.

     Morgan just silently hugs Lyle.

     MORGAN: (softly) I’m so sorry.

     Zach enters from stage right and joins in the hug.

     ZACH: (reassuringly) You’ll get ‘em next time.

     Band vamps serious, melancholy music.

     Lyle fights his way out of the hug.

     LYLE: (sniffling) No! I let you both down. I’m so sorry! I don’t deserve you, or any of this!

     Lyle runs offstage right.

     MORGAN: (calling after him) Lyle!

     ZACH: Let him go, he’ll work himself out and come back to us.

     Morgan and Zach, looking down/forlorn, exit stage left.

     Lights fade to black.

     Scene 8: Neopia Central (main, spring/summer), the Bazaar, and the Plaza (nighttime).

     Band vamps from “Neopia Central Blues”.

     Lights fade in.

     Lyle, still dressed as Kauboy Twisty, enters stage left.

     Band plays “Neopia Central Blues” (light lament / blues / emotional centrepiece).

     LYLE: (sung) I came here with such sky-high expectations,

      And now my dreams lie shattered on the ground.

      I’ve faced my share of hardships, tribulations—

      I can't help but feel I've let my friends down.

      And though I am not even worth the mention,

      An actor I had always dreamed I’d be.

      To bask in all the warmth and the attention

      Acceptance, love, and joy surrounding me.

      Since I was a wee idealistic Kacheek

      I just assumed that my dreams would come true!

      But after moving here that now seems so bleak,

      Neopia Central has made me blue.

      Oh woe am I!

      What will I become?

      A worthless guy?

      A Money Tree bum?

      I try and try again and yet

      I never ever seem to get

      The break I need

      Oh to succeed—

      It’s all so far away!

      So now I walk about and try

      To remain grounded, not to cry

      But it's so hard

      Not in my cards—

      Yet still I hope and pray!

     Band vamps from “Neopia Central Blues”. Lyle walks about the stage as the scene changes to him at the Wishing Well.

     LYLE: (prose) What's this? The Wishing Well?

     Band continues “Neopia Central Blues”.

     LYLE: (sung) Mo said I can’t wish my dreams to come real.

      But what's the worst that's happened on a wish?

      My life can’t get worse – at least that's how I feel –

      I have never been lower than this.

     LYLE: (sung) Wishing on a Wishing Well.

      Wishing for a change!

      Oh Spirit of this Wishing Well,

      Here my cries of pain!

      I wish that I was elsewhere,

      Where my dreams have come true!

      I can almost picture there—

      I’m wishing, pleading, begging you!

      I ask you for a better life

      I ask you to be gentle

      Oh please remove my lowly strife

      In Neopia Central!

     Band transitions to an instrumental version of “Neopia Central Blues”.

     Lyle approaches the well.

     LYLE: (prose) Oh Wishing Well, all I want is to be a famous actor with a big fortune and loved by all. Please grant me my wish!

     Lyle tosses a NeoPoint into the well. It clinks down and a shimmery noise is heard.

     Lyle watches the well for several seconds before exiting stage right.

     Lights fade to black.

     Band stops.

     Scene 9: Interior of Cockroach Towers Hotel Room

     Lyle, in his regular clothes, is lying on his bed at stage left, moping.

     Lights fade in.

     A knocking sound is heard.

     MORGAN: (offstage) Lyle? I know you’re in there, I heard you come back last night. And the Do Not Disturb sign is on your door.


     MORGAN: (offstage, concerned) I’m just really concerned about you! Zach and I both are.


     MORGAN: (offstage, reassuringly) You’ll be OK, Lyle. You’ll rebound from this. I know you will.


     MORGAN: (offstage, almost pleading) You promised you wouldn’t let me down – neither me nor Zach. Well, you haven’t. I—we still care for you. I promise you that I will never let you down. You are our friend, and my best friend.

     Lyle starts trembling somewhat with emotion but is otherwise silent.

     MORGAN: (offstage, sighing) Alright. Well, there is a NeoMail outside your door here. It’s from the Neopian Players – you should probably open it.

     Lyle’s interest is admittedly piqued, and he sits up in his bed but is otherwise silent.

     MORGAN: (offstage) See you around, ‘L.

     Foley footsteps are heard as Morgan seemingly walks away.

     Lyle leaves his bed and walks toward his door at stage right. He opens the door and picks up the letter, which he hastily opens as he walks to and sits at his desk at centre stage. Lyle starts to read the letter.

     LYLE: (reading aloud) Dear Lyle, I am writing to inform you that you have been selected for the part of Kauboy Twisty in the Neopian Players’ revival of Goldrun!.

     Band vamps from “Here I Am in Neopia Central”.

     Lyle leaps out from his desk, shaking with excitement.

     LYLE: (with increasing elation) Please find enclosed a copy of script; rehearsals begin next week. Sincerely, Casting Director.

     Lyle dances about the stage as music intensifies.

     Band plays “Here I Am in Neopia Central”.

     LYLE: (sung) My first steps,

      On my journey to

      Neopia’s acting elite!

     Lyle continues dancing and does a few choreographed Rocket moves at centre stage.

     Band stops (on an inverse Picardy third).

     Lights fade to black.

     Curtains close.


To be continued…

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