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Top 12 Tastiest Gross Foods


by coldblanket

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     Welcome To My TOP 12 TASTIEST GROSS FOODS!!! This is obviously a second part to my Top 15 Grossest Gross Food list. I would have chosen 15, but there just aren’t that many! DISCLAIMER: This may offend your sensibilities and make you rethink everything you thought you knew. Ok, it’s not that serious, but hold onto your shorts!

     12. Holiday Dinner In A Can: You say gross, I say convenient. You say yuck, I say Thanksgiving without the mess. You say no way! I say bring it on! Turkey, cranberries, pie, dressing, yams - all packed into one tiny, delicious, all-to-easy can! Sleepy eyes and full tummies included. This deserves a spot in the pantry.

     11. Dented Can of Expired Pumpkin Neocola: Ahh Autumn is in the air, pumpkin flavored everything is upon us. Our dear Neocola is no exception. This seasonal flavor only comes but once a year and honestly, expired, dented, whatever - It’s soda. It’s in a can, I mean does it really expire? Or is that just a suggestion? I’m drinking it and I recommended you follow suit. All hail Autumn.

     10. Fish Fingers and Custard: I know what I need, I NEED Fish fingers and Custard. This only got a spot because I don’t think they would be half bad. I would have given them a higher spot, but I don’t think all of you would agree. I know a certain Doctor who might! Oh, and don’t forget to drink the remaining custard directly from the bowl - fish bits and all!

     9. Nutritional Block: It’s nutrition, it’s a block! This can keep you alive and fill up your belly. Let's be real here, if you were starving and nothing else was around would you pass on this and starve, or chow down on a block of nutrition. Mhm, I thought so.

     8. Stale Black Jelly Beans: Picture if you will, it’s late at night, you’re rummaging through the couch looking for the telly remote and you find a jelly bean. You pause for a moment and try to remember the last time you even had jelly beans - and you immediately stop that thought because honestly, it doesn’t matter. It’s a jelly bean and you’re going to eat it, no matter what colour it is. That is EXACTLY why this is here on the list. Now I know what you're most likely thinking, “Its as hard as a rock! I would NEVER eat this!” but if you saw it, I bet you’d eat it.

     7. Buttered Watermelon: Get past the initial gag reflex of combining delicious butter with sweet juicy watermelon, then grab your tongs and you just throw this naughty treat directly on the barbecue. Add a touch of basil and you’ve got yourself a meal! Mhm. I know you were about to say “watermelon is eaten on its own” but grilled watermelon is totally worth it.

     6. Peaburger Delight: Ok guys, I think some of you are being led astray but unknown forces. I think you are letting yourself miss out on perfectly decent food, because they have a particular “label”. You would rather eat a hot dog - which we won’t discuss the actual ingredients here *cough*mysterymeat*cough*, than this delightful burger made of peas! It’s basically a veggie burger, I mean not a whole lot of bad here. Not that I’m saying you have to give up meat to eat this, but it’s a choice. Vegans unite!

     5. Peanut Butter Pizza: This could be legit. I mean, really legit. Late night video game binge fest, peanut butter, pizza crust- it’s a dessert pizza of epic proportions! And who doesn't like dessert pizza? (I can tell you who - it’s the one’s NOT invited to my late night video game binge fest, that’s who) If I wanted to, I could even melt a Half Eaten Bar Of Chocolate and drizzle it on top - but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. All I am saying here, keep an open mind - and mouth.

     4. Ice Cream and Fries: Mmmm, the fries are soft on the inside, crisp on the outside and when that salty mixes with the sweet it’s a satisfying surprise that I could eat for hours on end. It may or may not remind you of a certain red haired “fast food” chain delight… rhymes with “bries and a blosty”...

     3. Half Eaten Bar of Chocolate: I mean, it’s just one bite, it’s not like they licked it and slobbered on it (that we know of, but let’s not dwell) it’s a perfectly good bar of chocolate - right? If you are still squeamish about it, there are a few things you could do to make this right again; first you could break of the piece where someone “supposedly” bit it. Problem solved. Secondly, you melt the bar in a nuclear powered microwave which kills any potential germs left by hypothetical slobber. And lastly - 5 second rule? *shrug* It’s chocolate.

     2. Cheesy Potato Stuffed Doughnut: Hey this is ALL the rage on the foodie circuit. A greasy burger on a hot glazed doughnut bun?!? Are you kidding me? Cheese and potato are good on a sandwich on a doughnut or just by itself. Either way - don’t knock it before you try it!

     1. Pound Cake and Frosting Sandwich: When I saw this on a list of “gross foods” I couldn’t believe my eyes. What type of creature could think something so wonderful is gross? I mean COME ON! What's not to like? A warm slice of pound cake, a nice buttercream frosting - sweet schmeett, it’s faerieland in your mouth!

     Well that about wraps it up on my gross food journey. This is not going to be the last you read from me, I have many tricks up my sleeve. In the meantime, thanks for reading! Thanks to me, thanks to my other article that you guys absolutely LOVED and all my fans. I love you guys and I love Neopets! -no tags here-3 -no tags here-3 P.S. Thanks Mom for being my editor and chief!

     

 
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