Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 195,768,673 Issue: 876 | 23rd day of Hiding, Y21
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The Blumalupe: Creation

by neotilted


     Once upon a time, (or three years ago) there was a secret lab under the Neopian Central. The experiments performed in this lab, which was called Neopia Labs, were very important, and had been the subject of much sabotage, including the famous "Lupe Incident" where 20 extremely large Lupes broke out and ravaged Neopia for almost a year before they were captured. But the incident we are taking a look at now happened 4 years ago, and it got the lab shut down.

      Dr. Quill was mad. Very mad. His team hadn't come up with any experiments for almost a month, and the lab was on limited funding. If they didn't make some NP now, who would pay for his million-NP mansion? He needed money! And he was determined to get it. So he went to the brainstorm lab, where some lab workers were hard at work, talking about their latest traumas(including a Lupe hearing someone say Lupes were bad, and a Flotsam complaining that no one could hear it, due to the fact that it had a fishbowl containing water over its head) and trying to decide whether to make kid's television that only kids could hear so parents wouldn't have to deal with the annoying repetitiveness, or make the Battledome absorb NP that would go straight to Neopia Labs. Suddenly, Worker #342 said, "Hey! I'm having an epiphany!" "Huh?" and "What's that?" resounded through the room. "What if we mixed two different neopets together, like, a Blumaroo and a Lupe to make a... a... well, you get my point." said Worker #342. You may be able to see that Worker #342 was the only person there with an IQ above 50. Everyone else heard the Worker's idea and a mixed sound of confusion, understanding, and snores resounded through the room. "Brilliant! Brilliant! Now I... er, the lab, will get NP!" exclaimed Dr. Quill. Dr. Quill immediately promoted Worker #342 to, "Head of Brainstorming" which was basically the privilege of doing more discussing traumas and more deciding than anyone else. Dr. Quill rushed off to the research lab, figured out how the research technology worked and mixed two Neopet Genes- the Blumaroo and a Lupe. Mysteriously, the next day, a Lupe and a Blumaroo were missing.

      It woke up submerged in a liquid. It saw a person messing with some computers- It didn't know how It knew that, and It suddenly knew the person's name- Dr. Quill. It realized that it lived in Neopia, currently was in Neopia Labs, and was in a large tube. It tried to speak. It tried to say, "Who am I?" But it came out "Blip Blip Bloop?" Dr. Quill drained his tube of the liquid. It said, "Hello. Who am I?" Dr. Quill answered, "You are a Blumalupe." It was suddenly flooded with images of itself, captioned, "Blumalupe." "But I could breathe under water. Neither of those Neopets can do anything of the sort." said It. Dr. Quill quickly looked over the Lupe and Blumaroo data and saw that neither could do that. Dr. Quill then freaked out jumping around the room and screaming and laughing maniacally. After an hour, Dr. Quill calmed himself down. He called the Head of Brainstorming. "Worker #342, er I mean, Head of Brainstorming, can you come here? Your Blumalupe is malfunctioning." "I'll be right there, Doc." replied The Head of Brainstorming. "Ah,", the Blumalupe thought, " So I am a Blumalupe? I'll bet that means I can break out of this tube... and rule the world!" The Blumalupe suddenly realized that he had said those things. "I've never thought anything like that before... but I've only been alive for thirty minutes..." The Blumalupe thought. The Blumalupe decided that it wanted a name. It didn't want to be called "The Blumalupe" or "It" for the rest of its life. "Johnny, Lupin, Edward..." The Blumalupe thought. Then it had a sudden thought. It seemed as though someone was talking to it through its mind. "No. Your name is 001. Our first subject." said the someone. "The voice in my head... was that you?" said the Blumalupe. "Hmm? Voice in your head? It must be a quirk of being artificially made. I'll patch it out." The Blumalupe was not sure that it was a bug. Suddenly, it couldn't control its actions! The Blumalupe destroyed the tube and kicked Dr. Quill away, and then hopped out of the lab.

      The Blumalupe woke up in a large city. It saw a large building in the center. It was much taller than any other buildings that The Blumalupe could see. The Blumalupe went up to a large four-legged hoofed neopet. "Excuse me but, where am I?" The Blumalupe said. "Well, don't ask me, you got here. Well fine, you do look like you're actually confused, not pranking me, you are in the nation of Altad-" the hoofed animal never had time to finish. The Blumalupe kicked it away and went bounding off into a cave just out of the city's borders.

      The Blumalupe saw that it was bounding through a tunnel. It saw a sign saying, "Welcome to Moltara!" The Blumalupe was slightly confused and scared to be underground again. It suddenly stopped behind a two-legged being with wings and a tail. The being turned around. "Hello. My name is Dr. Salvador. I am a Scorchio." said the being. "Let me go! Why do you keep controlling m-" the Blumalupe tried to say, but The Blumalupe became limp and was suddenly slammed onto the ceiling and back down to the floor repeatedly. "Ow-Stop-I'm sorry!" said the Blumalupe, in between the floor and ceiling. Finally, the Blumalupe fell limp to the floor for the last time. "You will follow my bidding, so I can take over the world!" said Dr. Salvador. "Why? Why do you want to take over the world?" asked the Blumalupe. "So I can have my way and destroy democracy! Er, I mean, help Neopia!" "Well, I guess if you are helping people, I'll help you." The Blumalupe was suddenly escorted away from Dr. Salvador.

      The ride away from Dr. Salvador was slightly scary, but that was ok, because the Blumalupe loved it. Suddenly, the cart stopped in front of a door. The Blumalupe went in the door and saw one of the most amazing things that it had ever seen. The room was huge! It was the largest thing the Blumalupe had ever seen! Other than the castle in Altad- the place it had been in earlier. There was a large screen. It was asking for a username and where to battle. The Blumalupe said, "Blumalupe" for its username, but was stumped at to what to say for where to battle. The screen suddenly said: 'Suggested place to battle: Battledome' and switched back to the original screen. Now the Blumalupe said, "Battledome" and the screen switched to saying, 'Who to battle' and the Blumalupe saw that there was a list of people. There was a hunched-over, green, patched-up person named, 'Punchbag Bob' and it said that 'Punchbag Bob' was very easy. So the Blumalupe said, "Punchbag Bob." and suddenly, Punchbag Bob popped up in front of him! The Blumalupe was surprised at first, but then he realized he had to fight and quickly ran through how he could attack Punchbag Bob. He realized he really only could kick him, so he did. Punchbag Bob fell three feet away. The Blumalupe sighed. He was not ready to attack bad guys. He couldn't beat the easiest enemy in the Battledome! But then he realized that he had just started! He couldn't give up! So he kicked Punchbag Bob again and again, until he had Punchbag Bob flying across the room. Finally, after an hour, Punchbag Bob had finally had too much- he fell apart. He was suddenly replaced by another Punchbag Bob. Finally, after three hours of beating up on Punchbag Bobs, the Blumalupe went out the door, and was suddenly escorted to a bedroom, and it fell asleep in its bed. It didn't know how it knew that.

      It woke up to a small ball with numbers on it, and it was making a repeating buzzing sound. The Blumalupe tried to shut it off, but it didn't know how, and it accidentally kicked the ball thing across the room, destroying it. "Oops" said the Blumalupe. It went out of its room and was immediately escorted to the training area where it had attacked the Punchbag Bobs. Except this time, the room was different- there was no screen, and Dr. Salvador was there with someone who was vaguely familiar to the Blumalupe, but it couldn't remember from where. "Hello, Blumalupe, how are you doing today? I hope you weren't too startled by your alarm clock. Anyway, I've brought in a bad person that you have to get rid of. His name is Dr. Qui- Well, you don't need to know. Anyway, pretend he's a Punchbag Bob and kick him all the way to Faerieland! Well, you know what, you wouldn't get it. But, just kick him!" The Blumalupe was having very mixed emotions about kicking the person. But if it didn't, who knew what Dr. Salvador might do to it if it didn't kick the person. So, reluctantly, the Blumalupe kicked the person. But the Blumalupe mustn't have kicked the person very hard, because the person only flew across half the room, and suffered only a rug burn. Dr. Salvador lost his cool at this. "How could you not absolutely wreck that person??!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE HIM FLY ACROSS THE ROOM!! HOW DID YOU ONLY MANAGE TO GIVE HIM A RUG BURN???!!" Dr. Salvador continued on like this for half an hour before realizing that the Blumalupe was missing. Dr. Salvador spoke on his intercom. "Hello, workers! Hybrid number 1 is missing! Find it! Or you might not get paid tomorrow... OR EVER AGAIN!" Then he started strutting around the room.

      The Blumalupe had realized that Dr. Salvador wasn't as good of a person as the Blumalupe originally thought. He seemed more concerned with how much damage the person took rather than getting rid of him. Why bring a bad person to the Blumalupe, and not rid the world of the bad person yourself? This thought had disturbed the Blumalupe, and, during DR. Salvador's rant, the Blumalupe ran out of Moltara and into the Altad- place. And there, the Blumalupe realized that it was finally free! It wasn't being told what to do or being controlled- it was free! The Blumalupe was free to do whatever it wanted, free to go wherever it wanted. And the Blumalupe took advantage of this. It became an advocate of Hybrid rights. It got a home in Faerieland, where Dr. Salvador's workers would never find it, a job, and lived happily.

           The End.

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