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Actant's Book Reviews 2

by reconcilation


     Hey there NT, my name is Actant and I have read a lot of the books Neopia has to offer. Plenty of pets have come to me asking for recommendations for their next hot summer reads. So I decided to write an article highlighting some of my personal favorites. :) This is my second submission to the NT and I hope there is many more to come!

     Thanks so much for all of the suggestions, I have taken the recommendations and I have quite the backlog now, which is just fine by me.

     I enjoy all of the books that I write my reviews for, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like some more than others, hence the rating (out of five). I have listed the general prices of the books as well. Cheap books are ones you can nap for less than 10,000 NP, decently priced books are the ones between 10,001 NP and 99,999 NP and expensive are ones which are 100,000 NP or more.

     381 Dirt Jokes

     Why was the compost upset?

     Because everyone treated her like dirt!

     Waiter, why does my coffee taste like mud?

     Because sir, it is freshly ground!

     He he he….

     381 Dirt jokes contains exactly what the title promises; 381 jokes involving dirt or mud. It is a easy read and all of the jokes are good and clean (See what I did there!?). The author also tossed in a few rock ones for good measure.

     Oh! But my favorite joke definitely has to be:

     What do you call a Mallard that crossed the road, rolled in dirt, and came back?

     A dirty, double-crosser!

     Price: Cheap!

     My Rating: 3/5

     It’s no secret that I am fond of joke books and 381 Dirt Jokes is no exception. It is very easy read and will keep your pet entertained for a few hours. First my opinion were mud-dled but when I told my friends them they thought they rocked, but after a while they get a little slate, it’s easy to take the earlier jokes them for granite.

     He he he…. I’ll show myself out.

          101 Ways to Annoy a Uni

     Number 1: Mention this book to them! You’re sure to get an eye roll from your targeted Uni friend.

     Number 38: Dangle a carrot on a string from a Uni’s horn will annoy even the most patient Uni.

     Number 71: ‘Accidently’ call your Uni friend a Peophin – that will surely annoy them!

     Number 99: Eat that Carrot Cake they have been saving and put this book in its place.

     Just like 381 Dirt Jokes the title of the book tells you exactly what you’re getting into. Though it’s a little more accurate to call this 100 Ways to annoy a Uni as they count this title as number one.

     Price: Cheap!

     My Rating: 1.5/5

     Unless you have nothing else to read, I would give this book a pass. A lot of the humor –while funny in the moment could upset any Uni who isn’t on board. Make sure before you prank your Uni friend, you try and find out how well they tolerate pranks – an unexpected hoof to the head hurts!

     Mali River of Meridell

     The Mali River is the life-blood of Meridell. Its course cuts through the land, and every resident- from the lowest of peasants to King Skarl himself rely on the Mali River.

     The Mali River of Meridell is an entertaining geographic study of the river and its significance of the landmark to everyone.

     I had no idea that the river itself has special properties which allowed the farmlands to grow all kinds of berries, even those they didn’t expect to grow. Even Turmaculus wakes up once a day to partake in the waters. And once a month goes for a swim in the river.

     I never knew that Turmy could swim!

     The book chronicles how many notable Meridellians use the river’s waters. Illusen uses the pure water to come up with cures and how it’s a basis for many of Tayla’s potions.

     Price: Decently priced.

     My Rating: 4/5

     The Mali River of Meridell may not be the cheapest book out there, sitting at around 25,000 NP but it is an invaluable resource for those curious of the interesting landscape of Meridell, complete with detailed maps and a history of the many events that happened on its banks. It is definitely worth the price tag!


     ‘Baelia!’ the Kyrii cried then looked at her grey companion. “Did that work?”

     The faerie once known as Baelia took a moment to look behind her even though she already knew that answer. Her wings still a shadow of their former selves; dull and grey.

     “No Dear Neopian I don’t think it would be that easy. I fear… that I need a new name.”

     “That doesn’t sound so hard. How do you like Neriss? That sounds like a faerie name!” Her Kyrii friend grimaced slightly though as the words passed her lips it didn’t feel... ‘right’.

     That name was nice Baelia thought. But it wasn’t her. She would know what her new name would be once she heard it. She patted Tavi’s shoulder.

     “I think… I think we will have to travel Neopia and maybe… maybe then we might find it.”

     After saying those words Baelia felt a strange sensation, one that she thought she had long since forgotten.


     Wingless is a story about the Neopia’s best known Grey Faerie and how she lost her wings and her magic and what lengths she takes to looking for her new name. The story takes places all across Neopia – From Faerieland to the highest peaks of Terror Mountain.

     Price: Cheap!

     My Rating: 5/5

     Wingless is simply must read. It is compelling, heart-wrenching and inspiring, imparting even the most passive of readers to feel hope even on the greyest of days.

     I hoped my reviews have helped you decide your next holiday reads – it can be quite daunting as there’s thousands of books of Neopia to check out.

     Please keep suggesting books you would like me to review, please neomail my owner, reconcilation with your suggestions!

     Until next time :)


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