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Cursed Items for Every Budget!

by alissiee


      Cursed Items for Every Budget!

      Looking to extract revenge on that Usul who trounced yours in the Beauty Contest? Did your arch-rival sneak off with the latest restock from Kauvara? Have you been considering revenge for seemingly endless months, waiting for the right method to present itself? Well, I’m pleased to inform you that there are a variety of cursed items available to fit every Neopian’s budget!

      Disclaimer: the author takes no responsibility for the use of the items listed below. Curses should be used sparingly and thoughtfully. Always ensure you have a clear perimeter before enacting a cursed item. The author is not a licensed curse professional and all listings below should be only treated as personal recommendations.


      Scroll of Three Curses

      Sure, this scroll has its limited uses, but if you employ your imagination, I’m confident that you can make these three curses last! And at its very reasonable price point, you can always trot over to Brightvale and pick up another if you have more than three slights to avenge. Be sure to take the time to study each of the three curses separately; you don’t want to know what happens if you try to combine them!

      Cursed Coffee Set

      This tarnished metal screams “family heirloom,” not “recently purchased in the hopes it will bite your nose.” Hailing from Qasala (where almost nothing is enchanted, really…), this set offers you the opportunity to lure your opponent into a false sense of security before springing your trap. Who would think something sinister would happen over a simple cup of coffee?

      Tablet of Horrific Curses

      Well, when I said almost nothing in Qasala was enchanted, perhaps the emphasis should have been on almost. This tablet hails from there as well and offers you a variety of curses to add to your bank of knowledge! Since the tablet itself is not cursed, it won’t be at all suspicious to pop into Qasalan Tablets and make a purchase. After all, as they say, knowledge is power.

      Beginner Curses

      Since this scroll is at a fairly low price point, it is ideal for beginners! The subject matter is basic, focusing on unpleasant physical transformations like growing nose hair, and if you accidentally set the scroll on fire in the middle of your chanting, you can most likely afford to purchase a replacement.

      Intermediate Options

      Ancient Cursed Mirror

      This option isn’t too far a step from the budget-conscious options listed earlier. However, its effects are more concrete: convince someone to gaze into this mirror, and they’ll have a ghost permanently attached to them! When dealing with curses, it’s nice to have a solid idea of what the result might be.

      (This writer makes no guarantee of actual permanence, nor does she guarantee that the ghost will be one of the unfriendly ones. It might just be an everyday kind of ghost, content to mind its own business.)

      Intermediate Curses

      If you feel that your curse-related skills have surpassed that of a beginner, it’s time to move on to the intermediate scroll. This one focuses on growing humps and making it rain locusts! (When performing the locust rain curse, please take into account other events taking place in the surrounding area. If you have no grudge against the Cheese Maker, perhaps it’s best to keep your plight of locusts away from his place of business.)

      Jhudora’s Cursed Sword

      If you’re looking to curse an opponent in the Battledome, this is a great option! The sword even looks imposing, crafted of purple steel and bearing an ominous cloud of green smoke around the blade. The curse may not be as long-lasting as some might prefer, but it has the added bonus of coming from Jhudora herself! How many Neopians can say they’ve encountered one of her specially-crafted curses?

      Curse of Foul Odor

      You may wonder why this scroll commands such a price, especially when lower-priced scrolls offer more versatility. The answer, my friends, is that this curse is particularly pungent. The foul odor produced when this curse is placed can rival a curse sent by Jhudora herself-- and that’s saying something! As with all higher-level curse items, there may be some… unintended side effects… but that’s the risk you run when you’re playing with magic!

      High-Roller Goods

      Curse of Ultimate Malison

      Yet another example of the exemplary curse-work produced by the Lost Desert community. Really, where else can you get a variety of curses and over one thousand kabob recipes? This scroll teaches the enlightened individual how to truly take their enemies down a notch. It is less limited than the previous scrolls, and the curse is teaches is said to bring higher levels of terror and misery to those it afflicts.

      Pox Curse

      This scroll is truly for those with Neopoints to spare. It does, however, carry a nearly-unrivaled success rate! If you’re looking to afflict your nemesis with a case of the pox, this is a surefire way to do so. Just make sure none of your beloved friends are in the area, as the curse has been known to go… a bit haywire while being cast.

      Curses From the Deep

      Finally, we have the ultimate book of curses! It contains far more information that could be held on a simple scroll (really, that’s where the Lost Desert falls short) and has the added bonus of detailing curses of which most Neopians know not. This knowledge has only been whispered about for longer than I can remember, but is now available in hardback for those who are looking to spend millions to exact their revenge. Who better to learn from than a pirate?

      Honorary Mention

      Vengeful Scroll

      I would be remiss to keep this off my list, for it has the potential to deliver quite a curse! However, it tends to backfire in unexpected ways. Rumor has it that the last time this scroll was activated, the darling Faerie Kougra watching in awe underwent a startling transformation into a Pink Lenny! Of course, rumors must be taken with a grain of salt, but I encourage our readers to be wary.


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