The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* Circulation: 195,057,485 Issue: 817 | 2nd day of Running, Y20
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Confessions of a Hissiholic

by alli_draggy



     Deals have been made. The one thing I want more than anything else in Neopia at that moment is a Desert Hissi, and these deals have been created with a Neofriend and set in stone, so that soon, I will obtain a Desert Hissi, the very pet I want. A few hours later, the transfer comes in. Kasandaria the Desert Hissi has now been placed firmly on alli_draggy, where she will stay for all eternity. I got my dream pet! End of story, end of the Hissi saga? Right?


     This is alli_draggy, Alli to my friends, the Hissi Queen to the Art Chat, and awesome to myself. With the amount of time I have spent on Neopets approaching 10 years, I figured that now was the time to disclose all the interesting, somewhat embarrassing information I've been hiding from Neopia. More precisely, information involving what a Hissiholic is, how I got to be one, and what I've been doing with my Hissi addiction.

     I suppose that before I can confess everything that's happened and been said, done, and traded for in the pursuit of my Hissi dreams, I should define the term Hissiholic, coined by yours truly.

     Hissiholic (n.)

     A person who is particularly addicted to the owning of, drawing of, and collection of Hissies.

     I consider myself to be one, and I think most of my peers would agree it's a very accurate description. But I wasn't always a Hissiholic. Before Hissies took over my Neo-life, I had a fairly peaceful, serene, and noticeably un-Hissied Neohome. From Y10 to Y13, I had a main core of Neopets on my main account, at the time my only account. Those pets were Laliyana, a Poogle, kiss_angel_girl, a Chomby, diggydog1111, a Grarrl, and trex_the_dino_1, a Scorchio. They lived good lives, being decked out in any wearables I could find and kiss_angel_girl in particular going through all sorts of paint brushes obtainable on the Shop Wizard and being entered in just about every contest I could possibly fathom. However, at some point, probably sometime around Y12, I decided that I wanted a Hissi. You'd think I would have gotten one, but remember, this was before the Forgotten Shore devalued Pirate Hissi Morphing Potions and I was a young, innocent child, capable of drawing and customizing, but not much else. So, instead of trying to make Neopoints to get a Hissi myself, I turned to my Neofriends. After several replies of "Sorry, no Hissies here" and "I only do trade offers" and "nty, good luck!", finally, one person agreed to send Kasandaria to me. And that is where our story begins.


     Over time, I realized that Hissies were like potato chips-I couldn't have just one. I also got better at making Neopoints and negotiating over adoptions. Several years and devalued morphing potions later, my growing addiction had spawned four side accounts, each with its own cast of Hissies. Surely 20 Hissies would be enough, right? Surely I wouldn't need any more? Surely I had been satisfied by now?


     As I started spending more time on the Art Chat, I realized something about many of the people I met. They didn't just enter in the Beauty Contest and talk with me and draw my Hissi characters. They had goals, too. They had pages, bedecked in art, writing, and contest entries-for a pet they didn't own. They sent in schemes and pet applications for some pet, something expensive, beautiful, cute, or majestic. And in many cases, unconverted. The idea of an unconverted pet, the idea of owning an artifact, a priceless pet from a time before I could comprehend captivated me. The addiction Kasandaria had started developed a new form. There was a metaphorical Mynci on my back, and only another Hissi, but a truly beautiful, unconverted one unlike any other, could make it stop its screeching. Motivated by the sound of its screeching, I created a project page. I started scheming and applying like all my Art Chat peers. From Y17 to Y19, I struggled, creating a slew of applications and pieces of art, each one more beautiful than the last, until eventually it worked. Something happened. An application to retrade here, a hypothetical Beauty Contest entry there, and an agreement was reached. I would receive my unconverted Hissi. A beautiful Mutant Hissi by the name __G0pHeR__ joined my ever-increasing hoard of Hissies. But surely that was enough, right? Surely that would finally satisfy me.


     It didn't. Somewhere along the path of my Neopian existence, I discovered the unconverted Darigan Hissi. Its spikes, its posture, its toxic green tongue provided the look of the legendary beast Kastraliss and hypnotized me. They say the Hissi's stare has strange effects on a person. I didn't believe that-until this one moment of connection, of total oneness with this Hissi. Words failed me, except for three.

     "I want you."

     The struggle for this Hissi was even harder. From Y16 to Y20, I fought, applying, drawing, and doing everything I would have normally done for any goal I wished to achieve, but more intensely, driven by the possession of destiny. While I was on the Art Chat one day in the winter of Y20, someone noticed my struggle. They looked into my eyes and saw the intensity in their gaze. The single-minded focus centered squarely on an unconverted Darigan Hissi. And they happened to have one. More negotiation. Neomails sent back and forth. More art. But eventually, it worked, and my ultimate dream pet came home. Black7Pearl, they call him. But I call him perfect.


     It seemed that, for that moment, I had been truly satisfied, my desire for Hissies having been achieved. But I'm sure it won't last long. I'm sure that the next 4th of Hunting, there will be a new color, a new variety of Hissi or perhaps some new clothing or items for the Hissies that already exist. Then, my inner fire will burn again, the applications will be written again, and the metaphorical Mynci will resume its screeching. This sounds like it would be rather annoying or painful to go through throughout your Neopian existence, but while searching for all these Hissies, I discovered something about myself. Namely, that I liked the pursuit of Hissies, and that I enjoyed not only the destination of another beautiful Neopet to join my collection, but the journey, and all the art, passion, and people I met along the way. Even as you read this article, I'm preparing for that journey. I'm sharpening my pencils, strengthening my fingers, saving my Neopoints. I'm ready for whatever my next Hissi craving is, and I'm proud to be a Hissiholic. And that, my friends, is my confession.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Effective Method For Stress Relief
ohhh...ahhhh..ohh lala

by miikuroneko


Battle at Sea
The dainty paws’ of the infamous pirate captain Rowan pats against the deck of the faded walnut color of the wooden deck, as she peeks through the clear crystal telescope that fits in her paw perfectly.

by dragonshadez


Notorious: 5 Random Avatars! (Part 1)
Hey lovely Neopian Times Readers! Is there an avatar you want but you can never seem to have? Well, me too. I believe most of us Neopians who identify as avatars collectors have that one avatar that endlessly eludes us.

by rowdy420


The Leaf Bag
Having a trash bag designed after you is bad enough. Being reminded it exists is even worse.

by trishabeakens

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.