The Impossible Made Possible - Food with Personality
The Neopian world is a world of possibilities. There are many bazaar items on Neopets that some Neopians will find strange or downright unacceptable. However, for me and others, these bazaar items are wondrous and marvelous. These are items that can never exist outside the virtual world. The list of these bazaar items is almost infinite. I am fascinated by the Neopet team’s imagination of coming up with what I call the “Impossible Made Possible”. The items are impossible because you would most likely never encounter them outside the virtual world of Neopets. In this series I will be focusing on food you will not find anywhere else but in virtual Neopia, a world we all love.
As the old saying goes, you are what you eat. But in Neopia that is not always the case. There are food items that have their own personality. A lot of these foods will most likely harm the eater, instead of the other way around. Please don’t forget that some of the foods in Neopia are actually alive and they aren’t happy about being eaten. Again, the impossible made possible. Let’s take a look at some of the food items.
Imagine you and your family sitting around your Thanksgiving table, ready to eat. All of a sudden the turkey you have worked hard on all morning gets up and start to walk. This will never happen anywhere else. But in Neopia, we have Turkey Monster. “This vile creature becomes even more powerful when paired with the Gravy Nightmare.” This turkey pairs perfectly with its equally scary partner, Gravy Nightmare. We also have Beast Burger – “This is one delicious burger, if it doesn’t eat you first.” This burger alone would turn anyone into a vegetarian. The very thought of your food coming towards you is frightening. But I think this is amazing. However, I probably won’t think so if I encountered this outside a virtual world.
Let me paint an image for you. Imagine yourself in a grocery store walking toward the vegetable aisle. As you get closer, you start hearing cries. Cries of who or what, you have no idea. Thinking that something must be wrong, you rush over to help. But instead of people, you see all the vegetables crying. And I’m talking about sobs and weeping with big fat tears streaming down their vegetable faces, if there’s such a thing of course. Now, would you buy any of the crying vegetables? Well, Neopia has Weeping Broccoli – “Finally, the broccoli fights back after having so many Neopets cry over it whenever they were forced to eat it!” and Sobbing Onion. – “The onion doesn’t like it when you slice it either!” And last but not the least, Crying Corn – “Won’t somebody think of the corn?!” I have to say that if I saw these vegetables in my grocery store, I certainly won’t buy them. But on Neopia my pets are more than happy to gorge on them. Unfortunately, I’m guilty of feeding these sad looking foods to my pets.
Sobbing Onion .
The honorable mention goes to Depressed Potato. This food is so depressed by what Neopians do to it when it is cooked that it doesn’t want to be cooked in any way. “This potato just doesn’t want to be boiled, mashed, or stuck in a stew.” The thought of eating a raw potato will depress any neopet.
Everyone knows that to be able to drink anything liquid you need something solid to hold that liquid. Well, Neopia did not get the memo. Go to any coffee house in Neopia and your neopet will be able to order a hot beverage that comes with a cup or cone you can eat after you finish drinking your beverage. This is actually cool and would like to see something like this outside the virtual world. There is nothing to clean after because you can eat everything, including your dish. We have Chew-A-Cup – “When you’ve finished the delicious beverage inside, you can snack on this tasty cup!” Coffee in a Cone – “A chocolate-coated cone with cappuccino within - plus a heart on top!” is also a thing. You can also order Swirl-It-On – “This treat has been carefully swirled together, from the edible mug to the whipped cream topping!” There isn’t fear of your drink leaking or soaking up the vessel it’s in. Who wouldn’t like to eat their cup after a drink to save us from cleaning the dishes.
Coffee in a Cone
Zombies! Yes, the very thought of a zombie anything strikes fear in the heart of non-zombie creatures. Well, in the Haunted Woods they are as normal as flowers in spring time. It is not strange at all to see Zombie Negg – “Keep Zombie Negg away from the other Neggs”, or Zombie Marshmallows – “Quick, eat them all before they turn the rest!” They also have Army of Undead Cupcakes – “They turn anything they touch into MORE CUPCAKES!” and Undead Celery – “Long feared without a delicious spread of peanut butter, in undeath, celery becomes an even more fearsome foe.” I wonder if the eater of these foods will turn into a zombie after eating one. I wouldn’t risk it if I were you. But having the option to eat all these items is amazing.
Army of Undead Cupcakes
The honorable mention goes to Undead Cheese Wedge. This food isn’t just undead, but it would attack and eat you if it sees you. My only advice is to stay clear of any cheese shop in Haunted Woods. “In Haunted Woods, cheese wedge eats you!”
When you travel to Terror Mountain you’ll see Neopets eating normal things like Blackcherry Chia Pop, Cake Batter Ice Lolly, or Caramel Shaved Ice. All these flavors can be found outside Neopets. However, what can only be found in Neopia is Blazing Edible Snowflakes – “Once you start, the fire doesn’t stop.” I wonder, like everyone else, how someone can eat snow that’s on fire. Well, in Neopia, this is a normal sight in Terror Mountain. Because of their 24/7 snow environment, they have developed many different ways of eating snow with dangerous additions. Instead of the snow melting when it comes in contact with fire, this snowflake keeps its shape and doesn’t melt. That is the marvel of the impossible made possible. They also have Hot Snow Soup – “How can snow be hot? It truly is a strange dish” and Snow Cake – “Cake for all ice ages.” How can snow be hot and not keep its coldness is a wonder only Neopia has answers to. Also, how can you bake a snow cake without the snow melting and turning into water in the oven? This is another mystery without an answer but one we’re happy exists. I wish I had the magic in me to make such a dessert.
Blazing Edible Snowflakes
Hot Snow Soup
The honorable mention goes to Chickentastic Ice Lolly – “Strangely enough this really does taste of chicken!” and Invisible Brucicle – “This brucicle is a bit hard to find...” The very idea of eating a chicken flavored lolly and a brucicle you can’t see is something only the crazy minds of the Neopet team can think of. I don’t fancy the taste of chicken on my ice cream. And what’s an invisible brucicle all about? This item is a complete rip-off. Don’t waste your NPs.
Chickentastic Ice Lolly
There are many angry food items on Neopia. The reasons why they are angry are unknown. Maybe it’s because they don’t like to be eaten. Maybe it’s because they were made in the first place. Or another reason is because they just don’t like people. But whatever the reason is is irrelevant and the fact that they exist is something the pets in Neopia need to deal with. A lot of these foods are downright scary. Let’s take the Halloween Angry Lobster Dinner as an example, “Eat it before it eats you!” Just looking at all those teeth would ward off anyone attempting to eat it. As the description does, it would eat you if you don’t eat it first. Hostile Quiche – “It is never a good sign when your food is attacking other food.” The description has this right. If the food you’re about to eat is eating other foods around it, be very afraid. The last but not the least are the Deviled Eggs – “Wait til they get tired and fall asleep... then you can eat them.” The only good thing about this is that they are small. So if you need to defend yourself, it’s not impossible. Just stomp or crash them and they’re goners.
Halloween Angry Lobster Dinner
I have always loved the items on this list. But some of my favorites are the never-ending or everlasting items. I love this category so much that I have a side gallery dedicated to things that are forever endless. The two items that fit this article are the Everlasting Apple – “No matter how many bites you take out of this apple, it will never get any smaller” and Everlasting Mug of Borovan – “The best Borovan Day is a day when you dont run out of Borovan.” Can you imagine eating an apple that you never finish because every time you take a bite it instantly grows back or a drink you can very finish because it infinitely refills itself? You can save a lot of money if these items existed in the real world. Well, in the world of Neopia it is possible to have these items. Can you imagine having these items in the real world? You will be eating forever. Again, the impossible made possible only in the virtual world of Neopets.
Everlasting Mug of Borovan
There are a lot more food items in Neopia that I can talk about. But then this article will be never ending. So I’ll stop here for now. Next time you see these impossible things made possible on the site, don’t wonder why and how, but rather, wonder at the marvel of having something like this exists.