Come dance with the gypsies... Circulation: 194,869,658 Issue: 803 | 27th day of Collecting, Y19
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Ultimate Breakdown of the Best Evil Fuzzles


by butterflybandage

--------

     Halloween is just around the corner and everyone’s beyond excited for this insanely popular holiday, and why not be? We should let loose and celebrate what could perhaps be the best day out of the year (Altador Cup and Gormball Championships aside, of course)! While most people might be focused on getting their pets dressed to the nines in spooky costumes, or deciding which candies are best to give to pesky trick-or-treaters, I think we take a moment to appreciate something that really encompasses the spirit of Halloween … Evil Fuzzles!

      You know them; the small, fuzzy toys that both entertain and scare the borovan out of your Neopets (and maybe even you!). You probably haven’t seen one of these guys since forcing your poor pets to play with that all-too familiar blue one until their pants got scared off of them. The things we do for avatars, right?

     

     Yeah, you’re welcome … now buy me a NICE toy!!

      However, what you may not have known is there an entire array of evil Fuzzles for your buying and collecting pleasure! And if you’re a fan of the blue Fuzzle, you’ll be very happy to know you can collect an entire furniture line based on that guy; chairs, lamps, rugs, and tables; so now your Neopet can be afraid of eating, too (but I digress). Whether you’re a fan of the classic colors or are looking for something a bit more festive, you’re bound to fall in love with one of these deceptively adorable and diabolically evil Fuzzles … in no particular order, of course!

     

     Evil Fuzzle Gnome

     What’s better than an evil Fuzzle? An evil Fuzzle that’s also a gnome … duh! Now, tell me which part of this is cuter: the hat or the beard? Well, you’re wrong, because the answer is all of it. I can’t think of one person who can honestly say they don’t like gnomes, so you’re getting the best of both worlds with this item—and it won’t break the bank! It’s a garden gnome, so it doesn’t have the same fuzzy feel you’re probably expecting from a Fuzzle, but it still has that signature "who, me?" smile and those cute toes! You’re all set for making your garden at least a thousand times cooler with this gnome decoration … maybe even a million. Who knows?

     

     Garlic Evil Fuzzle

      Actually, any of the evil Fuzzles released during an Artists’ Day Off are perfect. Yes, I mean absolutely PERFECT. But do I honestly have to give a reason why this stinkin’ Fuzzle is my favorite? No, I definitely don’t … but I’ll tell you anyway—it’s a tie between the weird nozzle-looking stem and the garlic feet. It’s evil just how adorable this Fuzzle is, and it’s crazy that I don’t already own a hundred of them! This is exceptionally wonderful to have with you on Halloween, as you’ll be sure to keep all the vampires at bay (looking at you, Von Roo).

      If you’re looking for a classier evil Fuzzle, the Royal Evil Fuzzle is the one for you!

     

     Dastardly Evil Fuzzle

      Dr. Sloth, is that you? Nope, don’t be fooled! This evil Fuzzle, available exclusively from the Neocola machine (and anyone who decides to sell it in their shops, but that’s besides the point). If you’re a fan of Dr. Sloth, evil Fuzzles, both, or neither, you’re still thinking how amazing this evil Fuzzle is! If you’re not, then get yourself together, because this Fuzzle is out of this world. The icing on the cake is how the description varies slightly from the traditional description you see with other Fuzzles. Even though these toys have a high rarity, you need not fret—you can get them in shops at a relatively inexpensive price, so you can hand these out to kids on Halloween instead of actual candy! We’re all winners!

     

     Electric Evil Fuzzle

      This one is a more expensive option in terms of buying Fuzzles. If you’re willing to shell out the 300,000 Neopoints, you can be a proud owner of this superbly evil Fuzzle! What makes it so evil? No one knows … maybe instead of startling your Neopet by shouting "BOO!", it shocks it with built up static electricity? That’s pretty evil, if you ask me. The bright blue highlights make it look pretty innocent though, but that’s how it gets you! Unless you’ve hit it big at slots or are a master at the Stock Market, you probably can’t afford to hand these out during Halloween (unless you only open up for one trick-or-treater).

     

     Christmas Evil Fuzzle

      We all have that one friend who’s already singing Christmas carols and checking off things on their friend’s wishlists. If that’s you, don’t be ashamed of your holiday spirit, invest in one of these cuties! Given out during the Advent Calendar Y15, these Christmas Fuzzles are perfect to keep around all year long, just like the tree that inevitably was never taken down. Why just celebrate Halloween when you can celebrate Halloween and Christmas at the same time?!? Or, if you’re even more evil than these Fuzzles, you can give them to your friends and act like it’s already mid-November and their lives have passed them by, making them realize we’re all just dust in the wind …

     

     Gold Evil Fuzzle

      Never seen this guy before? That’s because this a brand new evil Fuzzle, hitting the shelves a few short days ago … depending on when you read this … anyways! This Fuzzle, despite what its name implies, is not made out of pure gold, so don’t get any ideas about melting it down (so rude). What makes it so evil? Maybe the fact that it does imply it’s made out of gold. Then again, it probably contains the same amount of evil the other Fuzzles do, but I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been able to get my hands on one of these yet …

     

     White Evil Fuzzle

      Do I even have to say why this one is evil? YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL IT’S THERE EXCEPT FOR ITS FEET. Seriously, this thing could be hiding in your closet, under your bed, or snuggling up in your hoodie and you wouldn’t even realize it until it was too late. Don’t let one of these things loose in your Neohome or there will be some gnarly consequences.

      So, what are your opinions about evil Fuzzles? Do you think they’d make a good trick-or-treat candy alternative, or do you think you’d be labeled the lamest owner in all of Neopia and become one of those homes everyone skips? Do you think there’s an evil Fuzzle hiding in your socks right now, waiting to nibble on your toes? Let me know! And remember, despite their reputation, all evil Fuzzles want are to be your friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Totally innocent.

     

     Until next time … Happy Halloween!

     

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

The Life of a Quester - Part 1
I mean...why not, right?

Art by: dinha_reeves

by tonyrichard


---------

Skipping School: Part Two
What on earth are you doing out of class?

by invalid

---------

Spooky Food Recipes
What better way to share the fun than with an article packed full of recipes to celebrate the scariest time of the year?

by happyinengland

---------

Elixir - Part 2
Time to get up and try again!

by hamster_z



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.