Battle Quills... ready! Circulation: 194,767,710 Issue: 793 | 11th day of Hiding, Y19
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Blumaroo Tails: A Not So Happy Interview

by danzgirl12


The month of Hiding has always been my favorite summer month. It could have something to do with the slight drop in these blistering temperatures we've been having, or the fact that our young Neopians have to return to school soon; however, the main reason I love this month so much is because I get to celebrate my favorite Neopets species, the Blumaroo. I can't get enough of those floppy ears and those bouncy tails! And they always look so happy, don't they? If you've kept up with Blumaroo literature or have any bookworms in the family, you probably remember " The Happy Blumaroo " and its main character, Bipple the Blue Blumaroo. A lot of readers believed " The Happy Blumaroo " to be a work of fiction, so you may be shocked to discover that the novel was more of a biography of Bipple's early life.

I asked if I could interview him on this Blumaroo Day, and he so graciously accepted my invitation. For those of you who don't remember the story, let me give you a brief synopsis: Bipple the Blumaroo used to spend his days bouncing happily through the forests of Roo Island, when one day he stumbled upon something that would change his life forever. And now I turn to Bipple to begin the interview, as he can give you a firsthand description of this horrific scene...

Q: Bipple, could you tell us what you witnessed that day on Roo Island?

A: Well, I was bouncing around in my favorite section of the forest one day. It was the same route I always took, but I had left home a lot later this time than I normally did. It started getting dark, and when you're down under the treeline like I was, it gets darker a lot quicker, of course. I'm not a big fan of being in the forest at night. You start to hear a lot of scary noises that you've never heard during the day. So, I decided I would try and take a shortcut to get back out into the open.

I was at the top of a small hill when I first heard the cries for help.

Q: Cries...for help?

A: Yes. They were shouting things like, "help, I can't see down here", "where are we?", and one even said, "I think I broke my leg"!

I bounced down the hill as fast as I could, moving towards the sound of their voices. When I got to the bottom, I found three Blumaroos inside a very large, deep pit. Apparently someone had dug this on purpose and then covered the opening with leaves and shrubbery, so as to set a trap. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to help them then because I noticed the beams from multiple flashlights coming closer, and I had to hide behind a tree and wait.

Q: Who did you see?

A: A group of four Mutant Xweetoks. I remember they kept laughing the whole time they were pulling the Blumaroos out of the pit with nets. One of them made a comment about how the boss would be happy they got three at once this time because it would be enough for one entire salad. That's when I realized what all of this was about. They were referring to the Blumaroo Tail Salad Extravaganza!

Q: Oh, my...for those readers who might not be familiar with this particular salad, could you go into more detail?

A: The Blumaroo Tail Salad Extravaganza is exactly what it sounds like: a salad, but with the tail of a Blumaroo added, which makes it a delicacy among gourmet food enthusiasts. In fact, it has not just one Blumaroo tail in it, but three! The rumor has always been that the tails weren't actually harvested from real Blumaroos, but instead were some kind of synthetic meat that was developed in a lab somewhere.

Q: Did you believe that rumor?

A: Oh, yes. We all did. We had to! How could we allow ourselves to think that Blumaroos could actually be suffering for the sake of a fancy salad?

Q: What happened after the Xweetoks captured the Blumaroos in nets? Where did they take them?

A: They carried them to a shed about a mile away. I waited until they had been inside for a few minutes before I got closer to look through a window. What I saw was absolutely gruesome. And the screams--

Q: I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut you off there, Bipple. We never know how young some of our readers might be, so we need to steer clear of anything too graphic. Instead, why don't you tell us what kind of research you've done since then and how you've tried to put a stop to this senseless cruelty to Blumaroos?

A: Well, first I did inventory on all of the food items in Neopia that have been named after parts of species. It's a staggering amount, if you can believe that. Way more than a lot of us probably realize. However, I've only found one other item that seems to contain actual Neopet parts within it, and that's the Zesty Zafara Burrito. From the looks of it, it has the entire tail of a Zafara and maybe even part of the body. I just can't fathom why we would stand for such a thing.

Q: What other foods did you discover?

A: All of the other foods I've researched are mimicking a part of a species but doing it using ingredients you'd normally find in food. For instance, Gummy Korbat Tails are a very popular candy treat. They look identical to a Korbat's tail but are made from various flavors of gummies. The Chomby Tail Burger is another one. They bake the bun in the shape of a Chomby's tail, but the burger itself is not made of Chomby meat.

Q: Boy, am I glad to hear that! I love those Chomby Tail Burgers. So, Bipple, in your crusade to stop this harvesting of Blumaroo tails, what have you accomplished so far?

A: First, I visited the Spooky Food shop in the Haunted Woods. That's where these tail salads are being sold. The shopkeeper there was hardly willing to talk to me about the situation. He wouldn't even hint at who the original supplier was. I suggested he raise the price of the item much higher than it already was. In my mind, this would deter people from purchasing it, but I was hoping he would only be thinking of the extra profit he could make. He refused my suggestion.

Next, I went to the governing board of the Gourmet Club. I pleaded with them to drop the rarity of the salad to at least an 89, and that way it wouldn't be considered a gourmet food any longer. This would make the item far less desirable. I couldn't get them to budge on this, and I don't know why!

Q: It sounds like you're having a rough time. Why do you think it's so hard to make this change a reality?

A: Honestly, I think something fishy is going on here. There's no reason why we need to continue producing the Blumaroo Tail Salad Extravaganza. Someone is behind all of this. They must be making a huge profit or something.

Q: That's awful. Do you have anything you'd like to ask of our readers? Anything that might be helpful to the cause?

A: Yes. I'd like to ask them to please stop eating this salad. Stop buying it. Stop inquiring about it in the shop. Hopefully, this will send a message. Luckily, Blumaroos have the ability to regrow their tails over time; however, the emotional trauma they must go through and the embarrassment during the regrowth process is not something anyone should ever have to deal with. If the rest of Neopia can do that for me, I promise I will continue my search for whoever is behind all of this!


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