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Fyora's Top 10 Burritos


by danzgirl12

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Good day to you, my fellow Neopians. I was strolling about Faerieland on my way to the Healing Springs a few days ago (blasted Snowager!), when a twinkle in the far off distance caught my eye. It was a warm, welcoming light emanating from Faerie City. And that's when it dawned on me: Fyora Day was approaching! How could I forget the holiday that celebrates my most favorite Faerie of all? You may be shocked when I tell you why the Faerie Queen is the Faerie I admire more than the others. Most people are probably just in awe of her overwhelming power and grace. After all, she is tasked with keeping the peace between every land in our world. You also can't deny how impressive her collection of rare items in the Hidden Tower is. No, my favorite thing about Fyora is her deep and unwavering love for burritos. In that, we have something in common. You did know about her burrito obsession, didn't you?!

I decided (being the great burrito connoisseur that I am) that it was up to me to schedule a meeting with the Queen herself so that I could finally reveal to the world her true opinion on each of Neopia's burritos. I tried to get that fancy Quiggle from the Gourmet Club to assist me in my endeavor, but apparently his schedule didn't allow for it (honestly, I heard him mumble something under his breath about burritos being too common for him to pay any attention to). Luckily, Sarillian the Maraquan Scorchio was up to the task. You might recognize Sarillian as the host of the famous Kelp restaurant in Maraqua. He was all too happy to take the night off from watching bloated pets engorge themselves on what he considers highly overpriced food (but please don't tell his boss that!).

Initially, Fyora's secretary didn't want to allow us in for a meeting, but when she heard the proposed topic of conversation, she actually cancelled someone else's appointment just so she could squeeze us in.

What follows is a list of Fyora's Top 10 Burritos and her own unique take on why they deserve the rank she gave them. Naturally, we'll start from the bottom and work our way up to her favorite burrito, so as to build suspense (and don't you dare skip to the end!).

10. Jelly Burrito

Ooh, what's inside?

Fyora: What's inside? I'll tell you! It's jelly. Jelly on the outside, jelly on the inside. There are no hidden secrets or surprises with this burrito, which is why it's my least favorite. Maybe if it came in a strawberry or raspberry flavor, I'd be more partial to it, but lime? Terrible. Also, don't they try to feed you jelly when you're in the hospital? Not that I ever need to go to the hospital like the rest of you, but who wants to be reminded of hospital food?

9. Solar Burrito

If this burrito doesn't do well in battle you can always eat it afterwards.

Fyora: First, I'll point out the obvious: this is intended for use in the Battledome. I would highly recommend that you keep it that way and refrain from eating it. Trust me on this. I got curious one day and tried this as food...I don't want to be improper...let's just say it wasn't easy on the stomach.

8. Hot Dog Burrito

The two champions of junk food finally meet in one delicious meal.

Fyora: What a tragic pairing. To suggest that hot dogs are on the same level as burritos. Preposterous! And to call burritos junk food is just outright offensive to me. Burritos certainly CAN be junk food, but they can be so many other things depending on what you put in them. Besides, everyone knows hot dogs are just a commoner's cheap mystery meat.

7. Blumaroo Burrito

This burrito is stuffed full of beans and tomatoes and wrapped up to look like a Blumaroo!

Fyora: I'm not saying real live blumaroos aren't cute, but this flattened blumaroo-esque face staring at me with its beady little tomato eyes is an appetite killer for sure. It doesn't help that I'm not a big fan of tomatoes. Something about the texture!

6. Burritoberry

Great with some guacamole and hot sauce.

Fyora: I disagree on the hot sauce. It doesn't mesh well with the berry flavor. I must say, the combination of meat with berries is surprisingly tasty. I think the major downside to this for me is the size of it. It's a nice little snack, but when I'm craving a burrito, I'm typically in search of a full-sized meal.

5. Flaming Hot Burrito

If you like your food extra hot and spicy, this flaming hot burrito is for you!

Fyora: I know, I know. I said no to the Solar Burrito, but the spice on this one is manageable. I would still only recommend you eat it occasionally, so as not to ruin your taste buds!

4. Snorkle Stuffed Burrito

This stuffed burrito may look like a Snorkle, but don't worry, it's not stuffed with one!

Fyora: Not as creepy as the Blumaroo Burrito because it doesn't resemble roadkill. What's so great about this is the sheer quantity of meat that they're able to pack inside. Sometimes there's an issue with the tortilla breaking apart, which can make it quite messy to handle. But definitely one of my favorites! I only wish it wasn't so hard to find these days...

3. Illusen Leaf Burrito

Mmm... baked beans wrapped in leaves. Messy, but quite tasty.

Fyora: This is a very healthy option and perfect for those of you on a vegan diet. The leaves are fresh and come from the healthiest trees in Meridell. My compliments to Illusen on this simple yet wonderful culinary delight!

2. Spicy Chicken Burrito

A flour tortilla filled with fresh spicy chicken, beans and cheese - yummy!

Fyora: There are no bells and whistles with this burrito, which is why I love it so much. Everyone seems to think creating good food is all about appearances these days. Why do all of our foods have to be shaped like something they're not? This is a simple yet flavorful burrito, and it's the only chicken burrito I've found so far. The others are all ground beef or steak, it seems. Not that I don't love those meats, but it's nice to have options.

1. The Faerie Queen Burrito

This gourmet snack is fit for a queen, packed full of beans, vegetables and meat, all subtly enhanced with chervil.

Fyora: Alright, I admit I feel a bit vain choosing my namesake burrito as number one on the list, but it's difficult not to. It truly has everything you could want in a burrito! You've got the most savory, high quality meat in Neopia, and that little hint of chervil to top off the freshness of the other vegetables is just to die for. Plus, how can you ignore the perfect Faerie wings design cooked delicately into each tortilla shell?

And there you have it, folks! I think it's time to do a little taste testing, don't you?

 
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