How Not to Cancel a Faerie Quest
"THE GORMBALL CHAMPIONSHIPS ARE UPON US! WE NEED TO PREPARE! WE NEED TO WIN! WE NEED TO—"
Schyff slapped Yottir upside the head. "Calm down, would you?"
"Yeah, that too, I guess," Yottir said after a long, shocked pause. For a few moments, he stared into space. It wasn’t clear if he was still in shock, or if he was trying to contain his growing excitement. Gormball was, after all, one of Yottir’s favourite games.
"Yottir," Schyff said. The Xweetok jumped at the sound of his name and answered the Magma Hissi with a wide-eyed stare. His nose was twitching incessantly. Schyff sighed. "Did you forget about the Faerie Festival?"
"THAT’S TODAY?!" Yottir shrieked, so high pitched that he could have been mistaken for a female. "SO MUCH AT ONCE," he exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air in exasperation.
"I can’t believe you forgot about the Festival," the Hissi said, shaking his head. If Yottir would have been paying attention, he’d have noticed the sly grin Schyff wore when he was clearly messing with him. He didn’t notice, however.
"I forgot all about it," the Xweetok replied, slapping his paws to his cheeks and pushing them upwards in frustration.
"Just imagine how mad Ember is going to be with you," Schyff taunted.
"Uuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhh!" Yottir’s pressure on his own face intensified. "You’re RIGHT!"
"And poor Queen Fyora, how disappointed she’ll be," Schyff added, grin growing larger by the second.
"NOOOOO, NOT FYORA!" Yottir pleaded before flopping face-first onto the floor in defeat. Soon, Schyff could hear his muffled groaning.
"I bet she won’t even let you play in the Hidden Tower anymore."
Just then, Yottir’s head popped up to glare at Schyff. "You don’t mean that. You don’t play in the Hidden Tower, that’s more dangerous than playing tag around pits of death," Yottir said with a frown. Even if he enjoyed playing with one of the faerie dolls every now and again…
"Personally I’d rather go to the Deserted Fairgrounds," Schyff said. Scratching the back of his head.
Yottir stared at Schyff in disbelief. He was waiting for a punchline, maybe a sly smirk, anything that would indicate that he wasn’t serious about it. However, nothing was offered, leaving the Xweetok’s jaw to drop and eyebrows to raise. "You what?!" he finally asked in disbelief.
"Well I mean after it got cancelled—"
"For good reason! EVERYONE WAS TURNED TO STONE!" Yottir was getting back up onto his feet as though he were ready for some epic showdown of a brawl to prove his point. "They didn’t have a choice!"
"Well I guess there’s that. But even when it’s not cancelled, it seems like everything is just… So… Happy. Like that faerie at the Wheel of Excitement? I mean she acts like she drinks ten cups of electric coffee with her other ten double shots of espresso every hour on the hour. …Or two hours," he said, by the end of it rolling his eyes at the thought.
"So happy is a bad thing? You’re not grey, you’re magma!" Yottir said as if that was a good enough explanation for Schyff’s behaviour. "It’s an appreciation day for Faeries! Just like there’s an appreciation day for you Hissis? It’s all about celebration!"
"Too much happy," Schyff said, grammatically incorrect on purpose of course. "It just gets so loud, so crowded, half the time my tail gets stepped on by some Neopet not paying attention. Whereas, I mean, the Fairgrounds are deserted. You don’t need to worry about anyone stepping on your tail or anyone being overly happy!"
"Nope, not overly happy. Just get your pockets picked or get pied by a robotic Chia Clown. That place gives me the creeps," Yottir said, almost shivering at the thought of the place.
"Don’t be so Coconut Shy," Schyff retorted. Yottir rolled his own eyes at the awful pun.
"Well," Yottir began. "You can go have your fun getting ripped off by carnies, I’m going to go to the faerie festival."
"Come on, Yottir. Test Your Strength. The Carnival of Terror isn’t so bad. The fact you don’t see the greatness in it is just… Wheel, a misfortune…"
Yottir turned around, walked to the nearest wall, and thumped his head against it a couple of times. Why? Why must he be subjected to this?
"Alright, fine, I’ll go to the Faerie Festival with you. But you guard my tail with your life, you hear me?"
"YES!" Yottir shouted as he took a huge jump of joy. "LET’S GO!!" He grabbed Schyff’s arm and yanked him out the door, too excited to feel his hand burning from the magma.
Schyff was growing more and more visibly uncomfortable the further they went into the crowd. Keeping up his end of the bargain as well, Yottir was walking over Schyff’s tail in order to keep anyone from stepping on it. He treaded carefully, constantly watching the tail to avoid stepping on it himself.
"I still don’t see the joy in this," Schyff grumbled as he stopped just in time to avoid some random overly excited Meerca running past. "This place is like a death trap. Did you see that guy? I almost became a pancake," he complained.
"I think you’re over-exaggerating," Yottir said. "That Meerca wouldn’t have made you a pancake. You probably would have just gotten a bruise or two—" Schyff abruptly turned around to glare at Yottir. "I-I mean… He probably would have knocked the wind out of you too. He looked pretty sugar rushed," Yottir added, which appeared to be enough to get Schyff to turn away and continue walking.
For a while Schyff didn’t do much talking, but instead avoided a bunch of potential accidents-waiting-to-happen and went over everything else he’d rather be doing. Just the lineup to the Wheel of Excitement was huge, countless Neopets were visiting the Healing Springs, even Jhudora was getting a plethora of visitors. Schyff was getting queasy.
"Really, can’t we just go practice Gormball or something? I don’t know how much more of this I can take," Schyff suggested. "We came, we saw, we survived…"
Yottir sighed. "Fine, I guess so. Gormball is fun at least," he stated, giving in. They turned around to walk the other way and, after only a few steps, they came to a dead stop, blinded by a light purple. Schyff had almost bumped right into her, as though she appeared out of thin air. Both of the Neopets’ mouths gaped wide open.
Queen Fyora. Standing directly in front of them. Simultaneously they looked behind as though she were on the search for someone else, but her eyes were set right on the two of them.
"Do I have a quest for you two," she stated, tapping her fingers on her sceptre. "I need you two Neopets to get me 101 Uses for Ice. …Please," she stated, offering a smile.
Schyff glanced over to the book shop, then back at Queen Fyora. "Why can’t you just get it your—"
"Keeping drinks cold, making snow cones, use it with salt for a fun experiment," Yottir began, totally cutting off Schyff. "Put some down someone’s back, can be good when paired with a blue Tyrannian slingshot in the battledome, cool off hot soup, let it melt to make a puddle for someone to step in with clean socks," by this point, Queen Fyora was staring at the Neopet, utterly shocked. Schyff was raising an eyebrow.
"If you’re small enough and the floor is slippery enough, you can get two ice cubes under your feet and skate around, or you can make an ice rink, a frozen snowball, or it’s a good way to freeze those annoying killer worms, or—"
"Yottir," Schyff said, cutting him off. "I don’t think that’s what she meant."
"She said she wanted 101 Uses for Ice. So far I’m at eleven. This could take a while," he said, before continuing, "Obtaining brain freeze whether you planned on it or not, making Taelia feel a little more comfortable in a warmer climate, freezing a paint brush and painting a Neopet to look like an ice sculpture with it, make an igloo—"
"Yottir," this time it was Queen Fyora cutting him off. "This isn’t… Exactly what I’m after," she explained, hoping it would bring his list to a cease.
"You said very clearly, 101 Uses For Ice," he replied, confused as to why she was going back on what she said. "I’m only doing what you asked."
Queen Fyora facepalmed and shook her head for a moment. "You see, Yottir, there’s a book called 101 Uses for Ice, that’s what I’m after. You don’t need to list off the uses of it for me. I just want the book."
Yottir stared at the Queen for a moment, dumbfounded. "Why don’t you just go buy it then? Why would you even want or need that? Why can’t I just list off a bunch of uses for you?"
"That doesn’t matter, young Xweetok. And it’s not exactly wise to question me."
"But it just doesn’t—" Schyff slapped a hand over Yottir’s mouth before he could finish. The Xweetok glanced over to the Hissi in surprise before pushing the burning hand away with a frown. "I can give you all those reasons, your Highness. You don’t need some dumb old book."
Schyff gulped and took a step back as the Queen’s face began to flush. He tried to help Yottir but if he was pushing this farther, he wanted no part in this.
"When I request something, Yottir, not only is it best to not question it, but it is best to not insult or criticize it," Fyora said, her voice surprisingly gentle. "Now either agree to obtain the book for me, or you are forfeiting my quest."
"The book store is crazy right now, though! You could probably just swoop in there and get one yourself!" Yottir argued. He immediately regretted it as Queen Fyora appeared to grow even more offended.
"Now you’re arguing with me?" she asked, her voice losing its gentleness with each word. "I will take this insubordination as a cancellation of the quest. Typically I don’t mind my quests being forfeited as they aren’t always exactly easy… But insulting me, of all Faeries?" she gripped her sceptre. "For this, you must be punished."
Schyff sat on the couch, staring at the wall, not daring to look over at Yottir or his owner. He wanted nothing to do with this. He didn’t even want to go to the faerie festival in the first place!
"Let me get this straight," Nyx began, staring at the Mortog in both anger and disbelief. "Not only did you turn down one of Queen Fyora’s quests, you blatantly argued with, and insulted her? Are you CRAZY?"
Yottir, now a Mortog, only let out a croak in response. He tried nudging Schyff for some backup but was completely ignored.
"Do you realize how much worse this could have been? Do you have any idea how bad this makes us look to Queen Fyora? To all the Faeries in general?"
Yottir let out another long, though quieter croak.
"Well I know you’re sorry now. But if you ever pull something like this again? I will use a Uni morphing potion on you. Do you understand me?"
Yottir croaked again, this time a little more excitable. By this point, Schyff was looking between the two of them in confusion.
"No, it will not be a Halloween Uni. If anything, it will be a pink one."
The Mortog gulped and released a short, fearful croak, and Schyff rose an eyebrow.
"Mom, how can you understand him?" the Hissi asked in confusion.
"…I don’t want to talk about it."