The Best and Worst Dressed Fellas in Neopia
It is Miss Prickles the Fashionable Uni and I am here to report: Neopia’s Worst Dressed. It’s a terror, it’s a horror, oh wait it is just an unfashionable Neopian. I am here to critique and to share some helpful suggestions for our tragically dressed local celebrities. But first! Have you ever wondered who the best dressed men around Neopia are? I’ve have searched high and low to make that executive decision. I have narrowed down for you the top five best dressed men in Neopia.
Neopia’s Best Dressed Men (in no particular order)
1. Sir Edmund Ogletree *swoons* he is so dapper. Always crisp and well-dressed. His signature turquoise blouse is as classic as they come. Add his gloves and sword and you have a fine modern gentleman. Absolute Best Dressed Winner.
2. Better Than You Host . Ah yes, a pink sparkly suit jacket that accentuates the glistening of his perfectly white teeth. With quaffed hair and a deep pink tie, I can think of nothing more fashionable. Kyriis around Neopia, take note, THIS is how it is done. I would also love to see the rest of his closet, more sparkling suits ?!?!
3. Bowe . Bowe’s outfit gives the clear indicator that he is one of the best surfers in Neopia. His hair flicks back naturally like the waves that he rides. He wears practical foot and arm wraps to support his joints during his performances. The vest is a nice quilted fabric showing off his muscles with a belt. His shoulder piece and necklace give him that spark that turns his outfit from basic to fashion-forward. Always a joy to watch on the waves, with a style to match.
4. . This Mynci shows Neopia what it takes to be a classic man. His top hat paired with a red bow tie, and a pin striped vest prove that while he works hard for his money, his money flows. His flashy mustache and cane is what sets him apart from his almost equally fashionable Mynci peer Arnold of the Haunted Woods. Both Mynci’s have that classic look, though, they could almost be brothers…
5. Dr. Frank Sloth and his equally fashionable clones. Dr. Sloth has the evil genius thing down. His outfit is understated, yet clearly evil. It’s a simple design will never go out of style. He is probably the longest living creature, he has seen fashions thrive and fade, yet has never changed. That is how you know your signature style works. Dr. Sloth: Always evil, always fashionable, always on this list (All hail Dr. Sloth).
And now **drumrolls**. Neopia’s worst dressed men, sorry fellas! Better clean up your act!
Neopia’s Worst Dressed Men
1. Zal-Bora . Sorry, you knew you’d be on this list! A stench is the worst accessory you can have. It does not help that your outfit matches the smelly cloud that surrounds you. There’s little that can be suggested until you figure out how to get your curse lifted but for the time being, may I suggest using a large amount of Cucumber Melon Perfume. It is very affordable and may help your situation immensely. Sorry to say, but Zal-Bora is the worst dressed in Neopia.
2. Brucey B Ah, Brucey B. Yes, he has a certain look to him, but is it a good look? Methinks not. The glasses are cool, matching his color nicely. It is just the collared shirt, it is too much. Always too much. Then throw on his oversized Lucky Coin and you have a bad card-playing cliché. I would love to see him playing his cards in a much nicer outfit, perhaps a Bruce Tuxedo Jacket and Shirt, the dark blue would go nicely against his bright green skin. He can keep the coin (as it is his lucky charm) but must tuck it out of sight.
3. The Unchained Monster . There is just not that much fashion happening here, so much wasted potential. A plain boxy T-shirt (sure it is distressed but not in a stylish way), and basic trousers. There is some effort made with accessorizing through the chains, but two arms two legs and a neck piece are just too many. Haven’t you ever heard the advice “Always take off one accessory before leaving the house”… You should follow that. Now, I think you should highlight your two-toned skin, as it is a uniquely-chic characteristic. Your ideal look would include Rugged Work Boots and a Rugged Work Shirt and Vest, very simple, but very stylish. Right up your alley.
4. The Phantom . Oh Phantom, you’ll never get Riyella back dressed like that! First of all, lose the mask, and the tattered cape. It is way too dramatic. It is good enough that you always bring flowers and can play an instrument! Play up your strengths and throw on a Conductors Tuxedo, and grab The Gift of A Single Rose to hold onto. Also, clean the cob webs, it would help.
5. The Pant Devil He will probably haunt me after I report this, but I must. Dearest Pant Devil, for as many clothing items I know you have stolen you wear NONE of them. You must have the most diverse and fashionable closet in all of Neopia, yet you just waste it. Your horns are nice but you can do so much more with your style. If you ever need help putting together an outfit from your stolen items just send me a quick Neomail and I will respond right away. For now, let’s start by adding accessories into your life. A nice Black Satin Bow Tie or a Chocolate Top Hat and Cane would really spice up your look!
For those on the best dressed list, I salute you, continue being dapper all of you! For those on the Worst… work on it and maybe you’ll be off the list by this time next year. That is all for fashion today Neopians. If you have any other debonair young fellows I should add to my list, please let me know.
*This list does not denote Miss Prickles’ preference for certain Neopians over others, just their fashion.