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Three Tomes to Tame Your Dreams

by binky1260


Dreams…those nocturnal images that render you completely elated, trembling in fear or somewhere between the two states. We all have dreams and naturally our Neopets do too. Recently, my Xweetok confided that she often dreams of sweet confections, her favorite kind of food in all of Neopia, and I can tell it is true when I spy the satisfied little smile she wears when she is asleep. Occasionally, I even catch her munching on her pillow. When confronted, she sheepishly confesses to me that she had a vivid dream that involved Rainbow Candy Floss and Orange Cloud Cookies. Honestly, I grow weary of replacing her bed pillows. In addition, my hapless Chia describes terrifying nightmares about Lupes, specifically rampaging salivating ravenous Lupes, and he wakes from his disturbing dreams shaking like a leaf and screaming NOT ME! IT’S THE JUBJUB YOU WANT! Poor fellow…it usually requires several cups of hot Borovan to calm him sufficiently so that he can be induced to sleep again.

Admittedly, a dream is an unavoidable component of sleep, so it would be beneficial to better understand it. And as always, I rely upon the multitudes of fine bookshops in Neopia to aid in the mastery of this mystifying subject. After scouring many of these literary establishments, I found a selection of excellent volumes that I would like to share with you, dear reader, with the hope that these books will shed light on the mysterious nature of your sleep and dreams.

1. Sleepy Time

Occasionally, we have difficulty falling asleep, and without a proper eight hours how can one be expected to succeed in daily tasks or to fight well in the Battledome? Your Neopet certainly does not relish the prospect of facing Chiazilla with only three or four hours of restful shut-eye. It is such times when a sleep aid can be your Neopet’s best friend, and if ever there was a book written that upon reading is undeniably sleep-inducing, then this is it. This massive volume is born of a collaboration of the worst authors in Neopia who consented to grace us with their soporific and extremely boring wisdom. For example, an entire chapter is dedicated to a list of every fortune ever predicted by the Mystery Island Mystic. Included are these perennial seasoned gems: “You will quickly realise that you must sing a song backwards,” and “You will quickly realise that you must never eat bananas.” At this juncture, I must confess that I was mildly disappointed to learn that there was no mention of the adverse effects of eating bed pillows. I was hoping to pass along that pearl of wisdom as an obvious hint to my Xweetok.

The Island Mystic’s chapter alone is worth the price of the book and is guaranteed to put your Neopet in a stupor. However, if additional sleep-inducing aid is required, treat your ‘pet to the chapter authored by Sidney, owner of the Deserted Fairground Kiosk. Fortunately, Sidney’s prose is written in the same sibilant style as his speech, and read aloud the constant hissing sound will sssoothe your Neopetss to sssleeep in sssecondss. In addition, if repetition is what is needed to lull your ‘pet to sleep, linger over the chapter written by Oogaroo, one of the hosts of Tyranu Evavu. Oogaroo is an individual of few words, and he suggests that if the chant “Graguda Tyranu Evavu! Gedd lacka. Ugga! Uhhg Uuuuuuhhhhgggg!” is repeated slowly, then your Neopet will fall fast asleep in minutes. I put that suggestion to the test and can happily report that Oogaroo’s solution for sleep worked like a charm on my Chia. Lastly, if all else fails, indulge in the chapter penned by Nigel, Neopia’s own Commodity Broker Chia, who has supplied a list of an entire year’s worth of Neodaq stock ticker quotes. *yawn*

2. Nightmares and Dreams

This book gets to the heart of the matter as it attempts to explain the reasons why we have dreams and nightmares. It provides actual documented interviews given by many of Neopia’s renowned citizens. Each interviewee relates riveting personal experiences and shares his own theories about the causes of his dreams. For example, Gooblah the Grarrl, a Food Club favorite, divulges a fascinating account of how he discovered an association between nightmares and consuming an unusually spicy menu of foods including Hot Tyrannian Pepper and Flaming Fire Faerie Pizza. Gooblah’s vividly detailed recollection of a particularly petrifying nightmare involving a heated pursuit by a giant Flaming Burnumup wielding a fork and knife will leave the reader breathless. Understandably, Gooblah intimates that heartburn is not the only occurrence he dreads after partaking of such fiery fare. Additionally, the author provides the details of an exclusive interview taken with Boochi several years ago in which he describes a recurring nightmare involving the disabling of his ray gun. He recalls that in his dream he always aims and misses. The reader is left to marvel at the prophetic nature of the baby Bruce’s dreams. However, most intriguing of all is the heartrending account provided by a famous resident of Terror Mountain’s Ice Caves, namely The Snowager. He recounts a horrific nightmare in which his ability to protect his domain and deliver a powerful icy blast is irretrievably lost. Instead, in his dream he rears up and delivers a loud reverberating belch, shattering every stained glass window in Brightvale, embarrassing himself and subsequently losing all of his precious treasure to kleptomaniacal intruders. After reading these illuminating testimonies, it is logical to conclude that the fears and anxieties experienced in our waking moments are frequently played out in our sleep. If you are looking for the answers to many of your sleep-related questions, this is the book of your dreams.

3. Elephante Dreams

This is the charming story of Pundaberry, an Elephante, who desires to be anything other than what he is. He spends many hours daydreaming of being a petite and lithe Aisha who customizes easily and looks stylish no matter what he wears, or a courageous Lupe such as Jeran, one of the Heroes of Neopia. Pundaberry believes his large size is a curse and consequently feels lonely and unloved. Frequently, his days are spent eating himself into a state of despondent oblivion which only serves to compound his problems. He finds himself at the brink of hopelessness until one day he chances upon a Symol in distress who, in pursuit of a tasty tidbit, has wedged himself immobile between a boulder and a tree. Applying his enormous size and strength, Pundaberry is able to free the unfortunate Symol and immediately the Elephante and Symol develop a close and lasting friendship. The tale’s conclusion is a certain nail-biter as by a twist of fate the Symol eventually reciprocates the good deed. This heartwarming tale teaches positive lessons about self-acceptance and the usefulness of our dreams and their potential for realization. As an added bonus, it is a bedtime story all wee Neopians will love.


The illuminating book selections presented in this article on the subject of dreams are but a fraction of the number of wonderful literary resources available in Neopia. I hope you will find them to be entertaining or informative and useful in your quest to gain a better understanding of your sleep and dreams. And, if you should find that you are feeling a bit drowsy after reading this article, feel free to prop up your feet, close your eyes and catch a few winks. My feelings won’t be hurt. Sweet dreams.

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