Come dance with the gypsies... Circulation: 193,843,975 Issue: 718 | 5th day of Awakening, Y18
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Avatars That Will Never, Ever Happen!

by indulgences


I was cracking jokes on the Neoboards one day, talking about new avatars that would be absolutely ridiculous and completely unlikely. The other players were laughing along with me, proposing random and hilarious new avatars that are so silly that they'll never exist.

Inspired by our merriment, I thought I'd write a Neopian Times article all about the avatars that will never, ever happen! To gather this list of avatars, I canvassed the Neoboards for the opinions of my fellow players. It was a lot of fun to chat with them all, and I've never laughed so hard in my life!

So here is my list of the most unlikeliest avatars ever suggested! I hope you have fun reading this article, and that it makes you smile!

1. Converting An Unconverted Pet

The most evil proposal was an avatar for converting an unconverted pet. I gasped with shock at this suggestion (I own an unconverted Faerie Pteri), but I had to admit, the suggestion was intriguing! This avatar will never exist, but I have to admit that I shiver every time I think about it!

2. Smallest Avatar Count

Someone proposed an avatar for having the smallest avatar count. I thought this idea was interesting! Too bad I'd never get the avatar, though, since I already have 330 avatars. TNT will never create this avatar because it would be a betrayal to all the veteran players who already have 300+ avatars, but I thought it was compelling nonetheless!

3. Worst Pet Treatment

Someone proposed something so funny that I laughed out loud and choked on my coffee. What if you could get an avatar for mistreating your pet? For instance, perhaps we could let our pet get hungry, battle with it until its Hit Points were zero, and let its mood go down to "Very Miserable." Then we'd get an avatar by viewing its pet lookup. Since this avatar celebrates our pets' pain, it's not likely to ever be created, but it's so amusing to think about!

4. Rejecting A Fountain Faerie Quest

Someone made me laugh again. What if we could get an avatar for rejecting a Fountain Faerie quest? The Fountain Faerie quest is a much coveted event where, if we retrieve the item that she wants, we can paint our pets in nearly every hue at the Rainbow Fountain. People use this boon to paint their dream pets, or paint and then trade their pets, or even keep unused (in hopes of using it for future pet colors that don't yet exist). People literally scream with delight every time they get a Fountain Faerie quest. What if there was an avatar we could get for rejecting her quest? What a traumatic thing this would be for avatar collectors!

5. Discarding A Mootix

The Mootix gives an avatar when attached to your pet's Petpet. Its worth is 1,200,000 NP on the Trading Post, and people love the sparkling jade-colored Mootix avatar because it features a quizzical-looking Mootix face, complete with tiny antennae. How evil would it be if there were an avatar for discarding this hapless little creature? Its worth would surely soar into the tens of millions! TNT will never create an avatar for discarding a Mootix, since it's already ridiculously rare, but I have to admit, this idea seems deliciously diabolical!

6. Having 39,290 Items In Your SDB

At the time of the writing of this article, there exist 39,290 Neopoint items on the Neopets site. I gigglesnorted when someone suggested an avatar for owning one of every possible Neopoint item in existence. This avatar will never happen, but it was nice to laugh at the ridiculous suggestion!

7. Cannibalism

Many foods on this site are made from pets, and I have to admit, I sometimes flinch when I see a food item with a contorted arm sticking out of it, or a food item with a hapless pair of eyeballs floating around in it. That said, I think it would be interesting if we could get an avatar for feeding foods made of pets to our own pets! For instance, perhaps we could get an avatar for feeding a meaty Meerca Pie to our Meercas. Or perhaps we could get an avatar for feeding a crisp Green Apple to our Apple Chias. I personally think that such an avatar would be too macabre to ever happen, but I have to admit that it's an interesting concept!

8. Backpacking Around Neopia

Someone suggested an avatar for visiting every single Neopian location in one day. Not just lands, either, such as Faerieland and Mystery Island…she meant every single location within those lands, such as Healing Springs and Island Mystic. I stared in dumbfounded horror at my computer screen, then told her that her idea was the scariest avatar proposal I've ever read. I wonder how many hours such an endeavor would take!

9. Super Packrat

The "SDB Pack Rat" avatar is awarded for having a thousand unique items in one's Safety Deposit Box. Some people thought it was about time for a "Super Packrat" avatar that would be awarded for having ten thousand unique items in one's Safety Deposit Box. I gasped a little, and then nervously decided to include it in this article, though I hope TNT never creates such an avatar. It took me a long time to get the Pack Rat avatar, and the thought of doing it all over again makes me quake!

10. Beauty Contest

And finally, as a joke, I thought I'd list the Beauty Contest avatar as something that will never, ever happen! Never mind that it was already released months and months ago. None of the Beauty Contest winners have received this avatar since it was first unveiled, and we've almost given up hope of ever getting it!


These were all the wacky and unlikely avatars that my fellow players came up with! I have to admit, collecting this list was really entertaining and fun, and I loved talking to everyone. It never surprises me how witty and inventive my fellow Neopians are, and I was glad to make some new Neofriends while I was posting on the Neoboards.

Thanks for reading my humble little article, dear readers! Stay tuned for more articles from yours truly, and have a phenomenal week!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


“Like the Battledome, but a Bit Friendlier”: An Investigation of Secret Competitions
But before I could get up to leave the coffee shop to find inspiration for another poem to submit to the Poetry Contest, I witnessed a strange and even unusual occurrence. I was unprepared for what happened as an Elderlygirl Xweetok ordering at the counter, met the gaze of a small Krawk who was entering the premises.

by peacelovebliss


Chronicles of a Caped Crusader: Days Yet to Pass: Part One
Chloe breathed deeply the morning air as she closed the front door behind herself. It was a glorious late spring morning and the air was fragrant and warm, with just a slight tinge of humidity. She walked down the front path to the sidewalk. As she reached the final step, she was cut off by one her sisters hopping through the shrubs lining the walkway.

by kristykimmy


Duplicity: Part Nine
At the royal library, Lisha shuffled through legend after legend where any demons or wraiths were mentioned. She had already amassed a tower of books on the identification of so-called “evil” magics and spells, which had grown so large its structural integrity was faltering. The books she had read were thrown in a huge pile on the ground.

by likelife96


Lord Faerigan - Fyora's Role in the Meridell Wars: Part Four
Dear Queen Fyora, I am deeply troubled about Lord Darigan. It seems that he is under the influence of the orb or some other dark magic. In a brief moment of sanity, he said there were voices in his head. Other times, he’s overcome by rage, threatening to take out King Skarl and the entire Meridell Army. Everyone has tried to talk sense back into him but it doesn’t seem to be working.

by black_skull725

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.