How to Lose Neopoints
There are a myriad guides for making Neopoints. The Neopian Times articles are overflowing with game guides, and you can hardly step outside your Neohome without stumbling over a petpage on restocking tips. (Or I might just be clumsy.)
So you follow the advice in the guides, and you amass your Neopoints. Great, teetering piles of them. They fill up your home so that there's barely any room for you and your pets. And wedged in the one free corner of your Neohome that's not yet overtaken by the towers of Neopoints, with your Zafara's elbow poking you in the ribcage and your Aisha's earstalk tickling your nose, you ask yourself: what now?
How do you get rid of them?
Well, if you're a steadfast miser like me, you don't. You just continue to hoard your Neopoints until there's no room left and you go live in a shed. But if you don't recoil at the idea of spending a little money, here are some tried and true methods to lose Neopoints, organized by how much you're willing to spend!
Play a game of Dice-A-Roo: There aren't many paying activities that you can do this cheaply, but Dice-A-Roo is one of them. It costs only 5 Neopoints per game, so you don't stand to lose much. But in addition to possibly winning a small amount of Neopoints, the game also randomly awards a number of different food items, which range in price from around 20 to up to 4000 Neopoints.
Open a Pawkeet Pinata
Neopets has many different items that give more items when you use/play with/eat them, and the Pawkeet Pinata is probably the least expensive of those. For under 100 Neopoints, you can get one of these adorable toys, and then brutally destroy it to get 2-3 different prizes. None of the items it provides are very valuable though, so don't expect to get rich doing this. (But then, the whole idea was to lose Neopoints, wasn't it?)
Play a game of Sakhmet Solitaire, Pyramids, or Scarab 21
Ahh, the wonders of playing card games with a bad sunburn and sand in your eyes. For only 50 Neopoints a game, you too can enjoy the soul-rending frustration of these classic card games in the Lost Desert. Sure the page refreshes after every move, but that just means more chances for random events. Better yet, each of these games has a shiny trophy if you win! (You probably won't, but that's no reason not to keep trying - you have NP to burn, after all.)
Play a game of Cheat!
Neopets' most recognizable card game, Cheat! features multiple difficulty levels for plenty of replay value. It also involves much more clicking than the above games, and more time spent clearly means more value for your money, right? Right?
Spin the Wheel of Mediocrity
Since all the jokes about this wheel have already been done, I'll instead point out that you actually have a very good chance of winning some decent prizes here. And with a cooldown time of 40 minutes, you can spin it dozens of times a day!
Play 20 games of Dice-A-Roo
Of course, if you really want to kill time, you can play more Dice-A-Roo. 20 games will only run you 100 NP, and you're well on your way toward having a chance at the jackpot and the coveted avatar!
Play Scorchy Slots
At 5 NP a play, Scorchy Slots is great for mindless clicking, if that sort of thing appeals to you. Spending a few hundred Neopoints on this game will be enough for some easy entertainment.
Spin the Wheel of Excitement
Let's be honest, most of the excitement is in watching the Skull tick closer and closer and hoping your pet doesn't get sick.
Eat a Bang Bang Negg
Running 100-200 NP, Bang Bang Neggs are the cheapest Neggs that give prizes. After your pet consumes one, you get a snowball! Never mind that any snowball you might get would be worth 30 NP or less; it's all about the thrill.
Ride the merry-go-round
Really, you would have to be some sort of monster to not let your pets go on the Roo Island merry-go-round. 200 NP is enough for four pets to get a turn!
Play 200 games of Dice-A-Roo
If you're already on Roo Island, you might as well head over to Dice-A-Roo and continue trying for that avatar. Just keep it under control, OK?
Eat at the Golden Dubloon
Now we're getting to the fun stuff. With the price of dubloons plummeting to all time lows, eating at the once-exclusive Golden Dubloon is now readily available for anyone who can spare a few thousand NP. Even the most expensive possible combination of menu items will only set you back around 5k in dubloons, and you might even get some much-sought-after leftovers.
Play Black Pawkeet Slots or Brucey B Slots
These are the only Neopets games that give you a trophy for losing. I don't want to think too hard about what that implies.
Turn your pet into an Ogrin
Or a Kyrii, Grarrl, Koi, Moehog, Techo, Eyrie, or Xweetok. What better way to have some cheap fun than to morph your dream pet into a cheap color combination with one of the several morphing potions that sell for under 10k?
Put tokens into the Neocola Machine
Neocola Tokens fluctuate around 400-700 NP, so for 10k you can get about fifteen to thirty tokens. The Machine mostly gives junk items, but you do have a small chance of getting a transmogrification potion, making this one of the few gambling activities that might actually be profitable in the long run. You also get some NP each time you put in a token, which you can then use to buy more tokens. Just be sure to yell “For SCIENCE!“ before you start playing.
Play 2,000 games of Dice-A-Roo
OK, this is getting a bit out of hand. You've probably gotten the avatar by now, meaning the only thing feeding your addiction at this point is pure button-clicking, dice-rolling mania.
Paint your pet with a Snow Paint Brush
Once you've defiled your dreamie with a cheap morphing potion, why not add insult to injury by painting it with the cheapest paint brush? Or if you're willing to spend a bit more, you could instead paint your pet in that most coveted of colors...GREEN.
Read your pet the Grimoire of the First Order
This Hidden Tower book costs 100k NP, and gives you the Rich avatar when you read it. It literally only exists to show off how much money you have.
Eat at Kelp
If the Golden Dubloon is too low-class for you, then Kelp might be more to your tastes. For 60,000-70,000 Neopoints you can get a nauseating array of - huh, on second thought, some of those menu items actually look pretty good.
While this will make you more money in the long run, playing the Stock Market is definitely a good way to lose NP in the short term. Buy 1000 stocks at 15 NP apiece for a total of 15k, and then watch them fall to 6 NP apiece and sit at that price for the next two years! But then selling them all off when they shoot up to 60 NP apiece is, honestly, a glorious feeling.
Spin the Wheel of Extravagance
Don't believe what this wheel tells you. Its promises of stat increases and paint brushes are naught but shiny, beautiful lies. It will drain your wallet before you have the slightest inkling of what happened to you. But there's an avatar, so of course you have to spin it anyway!
Play 20,000 games of Dice-A-Roo
You've won the jackpot hundreds of times. You've personally caused the price of Chocolate Milk and Fried Eggs to crash. Even King Roo thinks you're taking this too far. Your family misses you, and still you keep playing.
Use the Alien Aisha Vending Machine
Nerkmids are hovering around 50-60k apiece now, so you can get a nice pile of them for 1 million NP. You'll probably just get some fine alien Aisha cuisine, but you can always hold out hope for the slight chance of a paint brush! (Only to get the Snow Paint Brush you already used a while back.)
Read your pet the Grimoire of Prosperity
Show that you've really arrived in the ranks of high society with this book, which gives you the Richer avatar that you can then flaunt at everyone who glances your way. Try not to be seen around people with the Richest avatar, they'll just make you look bad.
Open a Halloween Y14 Goodie Bag
This goodie bag goes for around 140k, and the pool of possible prizes that it gives includes some items worth several hundred thousand to several million NP...or you could instead get some food items worth a few hundred.
Get the Secret Laboratory Map
If you don't mind going a bit over the 1 million NP limit, the Lab Map is a one-time investment that will more than pay itself off over time. This is especially important to remember when your pet has been stuck as a blue Tonu for a month and a half and you've just lost two strength points for the third day in a row.
Play 200,000 games of Dice-A-Roo
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD BUT DICE. THE COLORED NUMBERCUBES OF FATE ENUMERATE THE STRANDS OF THE UNIVERSE AND LEAD US TO GLORY AND RUIN. WE ARE ALL NEOPOINTS IN THE ENDLESS GAME, TRADED BACK AND FORTH BY THE COSMIC BLUMAROOS.
...We should probably stop here.
There are endless ways to enjoy Neopets. Many of them are free, but if you feel like being reckless with your hard-earned Neopoints, there are plenty more options available. Most of them will make you lose NP in the long run, but really, what's a game without a little frustration and excitement?