The most fantastic thing in the universe! Circulation: 193,565,809 Issue: 698 | 11th day of Gathering, Y17
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Rhoasy's Raddest Restaurants: Cafe Kreludor

by tennesseethomas


Good morning, Neopia! Rhoasy here again, to give you a rating on the best places to eat- and the best places to avoid- in Neopia. You might remember that last week, I took a trip to Hubert’s Hot Dogs, where I gave you the lowdown on the best kind of fast food! This week, as promised, I’m strapping on my moon shoes and heading to Kreludor, Neopia’s only moon, to try the most recommended restaurant by all my Grundo buddies- Cafe Kreludor! Now, over the years I’ve heard all kinds of smack talk between the Cafe Kreludor supporters and the Grundos Cafe fanatics, and in the next two weeks I’ll be visiting both establishments, giving my unbiased rating, and letting you know once and for all which eatery has the chops to call itself the best Grundo establishment in all of Neopia. Before we start, I’ll remind you of the motto of Rhoasy’s Raddest Restaurants: I eat it so you don’t have to!

For part one of this Grundo Food Exposé, we’re going to Cafe Kreludor, the only food shop on Kreludor, Neopia’s only moon. Now, we have to get something out of the way fast: as far as real estate goes, this place didn’t particularly luck out. I’m sure that some Grundos and mutants love the atmosphere of a desolate moon full of slaving Grundos and a lonely Neocola machine, but me? I need some sunshine and fun in my life. Before I even tasted the food, Cafe Kreludor had left a bad taste in my mouth. What’s the first thing you notice the first time you enter a restaurant? Atmosphere, atmosphere, atmosphere!

And let me tell you, the inside of the place didn't particularly bode well for my attitude, either. Next to no one seemed to be in the shop! An employee of Cafe Kreludor pointed out to me that most of their constituents are Grundos, and since most Grundos were currently hard at work in the afternoon, their rushes really only seemed to come during breakfast, lunch and dinner, as the Grundos were taking their breaks. In a way, this was great- I didn't have to wait in a long line and I knew my food would be hot and fresh. But again, here at Rhoasy's Raddest Restaurants we love a good atmosphere, and so far Cafe Kreludor was really failing to pep me up.

Now, let's get to the part I know you've really been dying to hear about: the food! It should come as no surprise that if you're going to spend your NP at Cafe Kreludor, you better be ready to get a little adventurous. The food at Cafe Kreludor isn't going to look anything like what you might find at a place like Kelp or even like Pizzaroo. Grundos seem to have a... unique taste when it comes to their Cafe fare, and you're going to have to be fearless when it comes to ordering a tasty treat.

Here's the nice thing about Cafe Kreludor: you can get breakfast, lunch OR dinner here at any time of the day! Since so many Grundos spend all their meals here, Cafe Kreludor has to tailor to fit the needs of any meal a Grundo could want. These options are out all day, every day- so if you're hankering for Kreludan Jelly Cupcake for breakfast, no one's going to judge you!

To get the full spectrum of the foods Cafe Kreludor had to offer, I tried to get a little on the wild side and order things that normally would seem- well- let's just say that I wouldn't have spent my NP on these things if I didn't love my readers just so much. Really, you should be thanking me. Anyway, I got myself a Lava Latte, some Moon Soup, some Sticky Glob Sticks and some Squeezable Tigersquash. And I have to be honest, all the food at Cafe Kreludor was really, really...

Delicious! I know, I was just as shocked as you were. Despite the funky packaging and peculiar ingredients, there wasn't one item at Cafe Kreludor that I didn't enjoy. I was able to sit leisurely at my table full of goodies and take bites of whichever looked the most appealing for me in that moment. While usually I'd be a bit embarrassed to eat so much in one sitting, there was no one in the room to judge me! I guess the atmosphere paid off after all. I found that I particularly enjoyed squeezing the tigersquash into my mouth, and though it seemed like it might be yucky, it was a very tasty treat! Definitely a way to get your daily dose of fruits and vegetables, and I felt like an alien Wocky in no time!

It turned out that the best part of Cafe Kreludor for me were the many, many drink choices. After that Lava Latte, I had to try some other options, and got myself a Zero Gravity Parfait (with floating toppings!), a Kreluberry Fruit Drink Pouch (Practical! Handy! Great for travel!), and some Fruity Star Juice (packaging so beautiful, I almost wanted to take it home instead of drink it!). If you're a lady who loves to brunch with your Neofriends, I'd certainly recommend taking a day out to go to the moon and try out some of Cafe Kreludor's delicious drinks- you won't be disappointed.

Is Cafe Kreludor worth all the work? I'm not sure. Let's be honest- I'm a sunshine loving, friendly Neopian who likes to find people to chat with and new Neofriends wherever I go. This can be a bit difficult when the place you're eating is as barren as Cafe Kreludor was that day, and the trip to the moon is certainly nothing to wag your tail at. My expert opinion is that Cafe Kreludor is worth the trouble at least once in your life- you've got to get out there and try new things, Neopia! But is it worth a second trip? Maybe if I get a craving for that squeezable tigersquash- or maybe I'll just wait for a nice tube to show up at the auctions, so I can keep my feet on solid ground.

Next week we visit Grundo's Cafe, where I rate Cafe Kreludor's number one adversary in Grundo treats. Will it top the charts or will Cafe Kreludor turn out to be the ultimate winner? We'll have to wait to find out! See you next week, Neopia, and happy eating!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Culinary Confusion
It's obvi-wait a sec...

Also by azienskieth

by roxanna203


The Warrior Princess: The Coronation: Part Three
Cole watched as Terrence left. Clarity looked upset, but said, ”Mara is back and she’s coming for me. I’m going to leave so she’ll follow me away from the kingdom.” Cole began to panic because he needed his sister for his plan to work. Cole shook his head. ”No. It can’t be true."

by purplbrooke


Downtime With Dr. Sloth
Just a peek into the life of our famous ruler when he's not ruling.

by vanillafilth


Delicious Cupcake?
Hmmm, I wonder...

by praline01

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.