Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 193,598,075 Issue: 700 | 25th day of Gathering, Y17
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White Weewoo - The Perfect Neopian Times’ Mascot?

by mercy_angel


We all know that the White Weewoo is the official mascot of the Neopian Times, but have you ever wondered what petpet might have gotten the job if the White Weewoo hadn’t? In honour of the 700th issue of the Neopian Times, we’re going to list the top 10 petpets that might have gotten the elusive role of the Neopian Times’ mascot if the White Weewoo had declined TNT’s offer or decides to retire in the future.

10) Robot Uniocto

We all know the capability of Lawyerbot and now I present you the Robot Uniocto! While other Unioctos are fast swimmers, the Robot Unioctos are quick thinkers. They’re programmed to work fast and efficiently, not to mention errorless. This petpet is definitely one that would help improve the Neopian Times. Can anyone see their resemblance to a brain?

9) Cadro

Do you know what multiple arms mean? It means more work done! With their four arms, Cadros are perfect for multitasking and I’m sure the Neopian Times’ staff would appreciate the extra help. Being constantly overloaded with work, a helping hand would definitely be perfect. Sure they don’t look as cute as the Weewoos, but Cadros represent hard work. They’re extremely helpful for reaching those tall shelves and would also be very helpful when going through the Neopian Times’ archives which is definitely stacked high with articles, comics, and stories. Why not reward the Cadro for its hard work by making it the Neopian Times’ mascot?

8) Plushie Puppyblew

Newspapers and Puppyblews go hand-in-hand and that’s why they would be a perfect candidate for the role of Neopian Times’ mascot. Imagine yourself waking up in the morning and having your reliable Puppyblew fetch the morning paper for you. Puppyblews are known for fetching anything that’s thrown for them. This includes peanuts and the Neopian Times. After it fetches the Neopian Times for you, you and your Plushie Puppyblew can snuggle in bed and read it together. If you’re not one for reading in bed, you can always enjoy reading the Neopian Times at the breakfast table with your Plushie Puppyblew peacefully sleeping by your feet.

7) Bloop

The Bloop may not look like much, but looks can be deceiving. It’s actually a multi-functional petpet. When you get bored of writing you can use the Bloop for a game of pool to unwind and collect your thoughts (just don’t let the Petpet Protection League find out) and when you go back to writing and run out of ink just kindly ask the Bloop if it can provide you with some until you can make a trip to the School Supplies store. For these reasons, the Bloop would be perfect as the Neopian Times’ mascot because it can be playful and practical at the same time.

6) Chiruck

Two heads are better than one. I’m sure everyone has heard of this saying before and that’s exactly what the Chiruck represents. Many Neopian Times writers collaborate with each other to produce the finest work for all Neopians to read and enjoy. The spirit of partnership and trust is undeniably something important shared by many writers. The Chiruck embodies that sentiment in its very existence. Two petpets rolled into one; two great minds working as one.

5) Faerie Moltenore

Nothing says hot off the press like a fiery petpet. When I think fiery petpet, I think of the Moltenore. A regular Moltenore wouldn’t be able to do the Neopian Times much justice so we have to take it one step further and have it be a Faerie Moltenore. Why the Faerie Moltenore? Just take a look at those gorgeous wings and you’ll have your answer. Some of you are probably thinking to yourselves that fire and paper don’t mix and you’re absolutely right, but you don’t have to worry about that here. Moltenores are cold to the touch so you don’t have to worry about your Neopian Times catching fire.

4) Faerie Kadoatie

We’ve all heard of the Kadoatery, but there’s one Kadoatie you’ll never see there. That’s the Faerie Kadoatie. This Kadoatie has bigger dreams for itself than being caged up and crying for food while its owner is away. It dreams of being famous. Being the mascot of the Neopian Times would help it accomplish this dream. The Faerie Kadoatie would make a great mascot because it doesn’t mind having the lights left on during the night which is perfect for those who enjoy doing their writing for the Neopian Times late into the evening. Even those who enjoy reading past their bedtime would appreciate this light loving petpet.

3) Faerie Whoot

Wisdom and intelligence are both important attributes appreciated by all writers. What petpet can be more perfect than the Whoot when it comes to wisdom? Don’t let those fearful eyes fool you. They have the uncanny ability to sense the Pant Devil. This insightfulness and sensitivity of the Whoot is without a doubt a trait that many writers share. But not just any Whoot is fit to be the Neopian Times’ mascot. Only the Faerie Whoot is up for the task. Their vibrant colors represent the artistic mastery and creativity of the Neopian Times.

2) Maractite Blobikins

Blobikins are gelatinous petpets with no defining limbs, but they’re cute nonetheless. Cuteness might not be enough to help this petpet get the role of becoming the Neopian Times’ mascot, but if you look closely at the Maractite Blobikins you’ll see that it kind of looks like a drop of water. Those who follow the Neopian Times regularly will know that each issue of the Neopian Times is only made possible because of all the hard work and drops of sweat and tears that each writer puts into his/her story/article/comic. It also wouldn’t be possible without the dedication of the Neopian Times’ editor and nothing represents her more than a droplet of water.

1) Meepit

Who can resist the charms of a Meepit? I sure can’t. Just look at their eyes. No one can ever say no to those eyes. Not even the toughest of the tough can say no to them. That’s how great they are. There’s no disputing on their greatness. They’re clever, cute, fast, strong, and clearly the best of the best. In fact, let’s all make a petition to make them the new mascot. That’s right, MEEPIT FOR MASCOT!!!

Hold on a second. Who wrote this? This shouldn’t be here– *Is dragged away by Meepits with shifty eyes*

Happy 700th issue everyone and thank you to the Neopian Times’ staff and writers that make each issue possible!!!

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