Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 192,989,660 Issue: 674 | 19th day of Celebrating, Y16
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Why I'm Boycotting the Day of Celebrating

by puddydog


Halloween has passed, meaning that time of year is fast approaching. That time of year where one can barely fit through the doorway of the Neopian Gift Shop. That time of year where the air is abuzz with the cheery humming of carols. That time of year where thousands giddily visit the Advent Calendar each day, eager to see what treats are on offer. But not me. Not this year. Nope. Consider this my official boycotting of the Day of Giving, and the Month of Celebrating in general. I'm done with it. Consider this article my official resignation from all things Celebratory.

I am a middle Neopet. I'm sure that some of you reading cringe when you learn of my predicament; you probably suffer from it too. For those of you privileged not to hold the middle position, let me spell it out for you. Being in the middle means that I'm not the cute baby of the family, nor am I the wise eldest. I'm just some awkward blob in the middle of our family. What does that have to do with the Day of Giving? How could such a revelation explain my Scrooge-like attitude towards a day most consider to be joyful? You clearly don't have a little sister.

My little sister loves everything Usuki. She hoardes them, stuffing her wardrobe (and mum's Safety Deposit Box) with the adorable little blighters. I don't know if you've ever stepped on a pitchfork before, but trust me when I say that walking down a darkened hallway and finding your foot impaled by a Devilish Usuki is, well, devilish. Mum is always telling her to put them away but they spill out into everyone possible living space, including mine! If you think Lucie from Usuki Frenzy is bad at cleaning up her dolls, you haven't met my sister. But even though she already has so many, what do you think is always atop the gift list? You got it, Usukis! From the hottest new releases from each Usukicon or simply filling holes in her expansive collection, Usukis are guaranteed requests.

It isn't Mum's fault, really. My little sister is spoilt and demanding, and mum just wants her to be happy on the Day of Giving. Even I have to admit that the euphoria on her face upon unwrapping those shiny pink boxes warms my heart (just a little). I love my sister, and seeing her happiness does make me smile. But I'm a realist. I know that whatever Usuki treasures she received will never sate the gnawing hunger of her collection. It'll continue to grow, and with it the obstacles littering the floor of our Neohome. For this, I blame the Day of Giving, for enabling an annual procession of new floor-hazards. This is my first point of objection.

My second has to do with my big brother. He's a Lenny, so naturally inclined to be a bit of a brainiac. While, thankfully, he doesn't share my sister's love of all things Usuki, he has an annoying habit all of his own. Reading. I hear your cynicism. "What's wrong with reading? It's fundamental to life, and should be encouraged!" I agree, to an extent. I do think that reading is an important skill for all Neopets to foster, don't get me wrong. It's when the cost and obnoxiousness of said reading becomes unbearable that I find a problem with it. That's the case with my brother.

My brother is an ULTIMATE GENIUS. No exaggeration, he totally is. He boasts that one day he'll sport one of those shiny trophies for having read more books than anyone else. Mum is supportive of our educations, so she tries to keep him plied with fresh reading material during the holidays and on his birthday. She tries not to let on, but it's a bit of a drain on the family neopoints. There are many bibliophiles in Neopia and only so many of those rare texts, so acquiring new ones is a pretty expensive endeavour. But if that wasn't a bother enough, he has this infuriating habit of interjecting random moments with pointless information. Having difficulty with my maths homework? He jabbers on about some advisor to an ancient Brightvale King. Going on a family vacation to Terror Mountain? He tells some longwinded story about a ski lodge and the mysterious deaths that occurred there. Have you ever heard something so ridiculous? He might be a genius, but I guess he can't tell the difference between fiction and non-fiction. The Day of Giving is the ultimate symbols of his knowledge, and thus the ultimate symbol of driving me nuts!

Being the middle Neopet mean that my Mum, despite her good intentions, is often too busy to give me as much attention. Between books and Usukis, the mad scramble for gifts often means that little old me gets overlooked. It's hard not to feel a little bitter. I can't help but think that a world without the Day of Giving would be a wonderful one.

No Usuki clutter.

No aggravating trivia.

My family could spend the day together without any materialism or distractions. Sit around a fireplace with a nice hot cup of borovan, sharing anecdotes and playing board games. Call me old fashioned, but that sounds completely preferable to what we have now here in Neopia. To me being the middle Neopet means being the peacemaker, the glue that holds our family together. Therefore it is my responsible to fight for my family. If that means cancelling the Day of Giving, so be it.

This year, I am a conscientious objector to the Day of Giving, for the sake of family harmony. If you would like to join in my mission, I'm sure that the Money Tree would be a great place to donate whatever gifts you may have already bought. There are many needy Neopets out there, and it would mean improving both your day and someone else's simultaneously.

Surely that is the true spirit of the season.

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