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How to Never Make So Much as 10,000 NP

by kelly_d60


1. Never check the Shop Wizard

This will ensure that your shop never makes so much as a single neopoint. You'll either a) have your prices so low that (while everything will probably be gone within the minute – who doesn't love a good bargain?), but you'll never make a decent profit, as you'll probably by-pass all those amazingly good deals you unknowingly picked up. Or, b) have prices so high no one will ever buy a thing, although you may just be able to tell this from the way nothing seems to sell.

The other option, is, however, to learn to love the JubJub in the starry wizard's hat. I'd recommend making your prices around the lower (lower, not lowest) prices – you don't want to wind up with your shop being a haven for snipes, for the best and quickest profit. People want to buy the lowest they can, but you don't want to short-change yourself in the process.

2. Never look at the news

...to stay completely oblivious to upcoming events. You'll stay right away from those pesky plots (particularly the dreaded prizes) and those annoying new items. It's highly useful to never know what's going on. You may be unfortunate to hear about such things, but then again, you may be only hearing the first of some guy by the name of Sloth now, despite 6 years of hanging around. And from one of his minions picking up a spot of tax to apparently educated a few Grundos with.

Watch the News. It's great to keep up with the latest item releases. Also, participating in plots is (generally) worth the items, but only if you give the activities a decent shot, mind. It's generally best to wait for a while until pricing as the price can be all over the place when the items are first released. Also, items often take a couple days to appear in shops once they have been announced in the news. Just be patient if that sparkly new garland hasn't shown up yet.

3. Feed your pets a diet rich in Draik Eggs

Well, maybe not *quite* so extreme, you're not making neopoints, remember? My point is, always buy food for your pets from the shops, to ensure that the food your pet receives is always overpriced. (Although, you probably will make the occasional bargain – but who's heard of taking advantage of such things?) As for Grarrls and Skeiths? Try the Smugglers Cove or The Hidden Tower. After all, your pets deserve to be spoilt, don't they?

Feed your pets in the Neopian Lodge, or on omelette and jelly, much cheaper, and it does the same job. With the occasional treat, of course, this keeps them happy. Of course your pets deserve to be spoilt, but they don't deserve to send you bankrupt in the process of wailing like a bunch of kadoaties. But avoid the super-rich foods, unless of course, you're a Gourmet Club fanatic..

4. Keep changing your mind

...about everything. You're now the proud owner of a Plushie Draik, just to start wondering if a royal Poogle wouldn't be better. Keep trying such things; you'll waste a lot of neopoints. It helps to buy lots of expensive items (especially usable) only to use them and decide you want something else.

The point is, change your mind before you've used the items. After you've bought there's still the chance of reselling. No sidetracking, either if the goal's a Pink Blush, don't buy the Green Eyeshadow, no matter how in emerald lids are right now.

5. Hoard

Basically, forget about reselling items. Although I'm probably not the only one with a small avalanche of fishing junk waiting to happen, I mean never going through the deposit box to see what's of value. Let that Scary Tree Stamp rot; it can't be worth anything, can it?

Now and again have a peek in your deposit box and find anything that could be of value and see what it's worth. You may just surprise yourself – I discovered UBs that I've forgotten about or items that have slowly crept up in value over the years. And best, of all it feels like it's free.

6. Forget dailies

Skip past the Snowager, creep by Coltzan's shrine and tip-toe by Tombola. Just ignore the places, in fact. Who wants a free paintbrush and a few codestones, anyway? And what a waste of time – why bother spending ten minutes to make neopoints when you could be spending them instead?

Yes, it can be touch-and-go with the dailies. But still, you should do them, especially the free ones. You may just end up with the item you've always wanted (or one to sell for the neopoints you've always wanted)

7. Start at least 2985 collections

Start up a collectable card, stamp, seven galleries, battledome equipment, and whatever other collection you care to dream up. All at the same time. Making sure, of course you include those rather expensive items. By doing this, you'll have 6,000,000,000 neopoints to find on twenty collections instead of 2,000,000 on one. And make sure you constantly half complete collections and then leave them to rot.

Stick to one. Set your priorities. You're going to get the Jade Scorchstone first. Then, and only then, focus on that Super Attack Pea. Simple. If you do happened to change your mind (hey, it that happens to the best of us) take the time to resell your collection.

8. Discard unwanted items

While tossing dung out the window (mind you don't hit anyone) isn't exactly going to lose you a huge opportunity, unless you happen to be in the dung-collecting business, and are friends with that fellow that runs the Meridell Dump, make sure that any item you don't have an immediate use for gets chucked. What can you do with a holographic collectable card? Off it goes to the Money Tree.

Check the price it's going for, and if the item is profitable, sell it. Or, if there's the possibility of you using it later, keep it.

9. Always play luck and chance games

Those games that you have to pay neopoints to have a go at. While you may just be unlucky enough to actually win something decent (though, mind you, so of those games do actually have a fair chance), you're still guaranteed to lose lots, and lots, of neopoints.

Try to limit how much you play these games. Say, 2,000 neopoints a game for Coconut Shy a day. That way, you won't be tempted with '200th time lucky'.

10. Go out on spontaneous spending sprees

Now and again, just dish into the bank account and take out a few hundred thousand. And spend it! But forget a specific item you want. You want everything! Buy, and buy, only to discover that lovely looking 99,999 neopoints worth of omelette is junk.

Alternately: only buy what you want and/or need – and unless you are absolutely sure it's a bargain – double-check the price. And get with more than just a group of items. Go out looking for a specific item of two.

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