Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 192,587,585 Issue: 654 | 18th day of Swimming, Y16
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Making Your Choice: Team Villain or Team HERO!

by shadow717


Ok, let's face it: the Villains have a pretty sweet gig! They get the cool clothes, the nifty hairdos, and the fans who love to hate them but also hate to love them. Neopia admires a good hero, but they LOVE a good villain. Dr. Sloth. Meepits. The Darkest Faerie. Commander Garoo. Count Von Roo. The list goes on. They all have dedicated fan clubs, are prominently featured on stamps/coins/wearables, and just exude confidence and sinister charm. With all that going for them, why in Neopia would anyone pick the path of the Hero over that of the Villain?

Well... fear not: below are the top six reasons why you should in fact resist temptation, fancy Neocash outfits, and the Meepits' evil stares in order to follow the path of the Hero! *cue triumphant music*

*swings Jeran's sword at the Meepits*

*dodges Dr. Sloth's Ray Gun blast*

*snatches back list from the Pant Devil*

Ok, so as I was saying: Top Six Reasons to be the HERO! *looks around nervously for any more Villains*

#1: The Hero always wins! Literally. ALWAYS. Think back through Neopian history. I mean, Dr. Sloth is pretty menacing... but how many times has he ACTUALLY succeeded in taking over Neopia? How many times did Razul manage to destroy Sakhmet? When exactly did the Darkest Faerie conquer Altador and live evilly ever after? See? No matter how cool the Villain looks or sounds, the Hero always, always, ALWAYS wins in the end. I mean, sure – you could pick the role of the Villain just for fun, to look cool, and hope you're remembered (and feared) long after your humiliating defeat. But it takes some serious evilness to pull that off! For every Sloth out there, you have a dozen Sloth-wannabes running around in a Toxic Green Face Paint trying (and failing) to look evilly cool. Ask yourself: is it really worth it? You can be laughed at in your pitiful attempt to look like an evil Villain, or you can get yourself a Kyrii Swordsman outfit and hear your Neo-neighbor's chorus of "aww's!" as you practice your Hero sword moves on your front lawn.

#2: Heroes have the faeries on their side. Yes, yes, I know – the Darkest Faerie, Jhudora, blah blah blah. I'm not talking about a couple rogue faeries. I'm talking about THE faeries. Ask yourself, how many faerie quests have you gotten? How many times have you tried politely to ask the Shop Wizard a quick question, only to be forced to first go locate a random keychain or eye shadow for a faerie who ambushed you at the most inopportune moment? How many faeries must there be to keep up with all those Faerie Quest Cookies and to work the Faerie Festival? Thousands upon thousands, surely! And, as the Hero, that means ALL THOSE FAERIES are on YOUR side! Goodness! It's no wonder the Hero always wins, isn't it? (And yes, that's not even counting Her Mightiness herself, the amazingly powerful Fyora. It goes without saying that you really wouldn't want to meet up opposite her in the Battledome arena.)

#3: More color choices! LOTS more color choices! As the Hero, it is your prerogative to select a color palette that fits your style and complements your appearance. Colors that link to your realm in Neopia are always favored (think Jeran's red and blue for Meridell, or Fyora's purple for Faerieland). If you go Villain, what are your color options? Well, there's your basic black. Dark green. Dark purple. Maybe some dark blue. Seeing a common thread yet? (Badump bump!) Villain color options are severely limited. Sure, the clothes, the hats, the masks, they look sinister and cool. But they're dark! No flair, no flash, no pretty highlights or anything. Just boring, dreary, evil dark colors. Boo to that! Take back the bright colors – go Hero!

#4: You're less likely to be chased by an angry mob of Neopians when you venture out of your Neohome. True, as a Hero you do have to deal with all those pesky requests for autographs, Neopian Times reporters just "happening" to stop by for a quick "chat"/interview, late night calls from the Defenders of Neopia urging you out of bed and into action, and the like. But really – did you ever stop and think about WHY Villains always have secret hideouts? Is anyone really going to go knock on Kastraliss' door and shout "Trick or Treat!" if his address is published in the Neopedia? I think not! No, for Villains the secret hideout is imperative because without it, every Hero-in-training (and some of the more powerful, post-training Heroes) knows just where to hang about in order to defeat Evil and gain a reputation as a Force of Good in Neopia. Neohome associations everywhere band together to make strict regulations prohibiting Villains in their areas. Villain wannabees drop in for a quick "chat"/attempt to join forces and receive a little free training. And, of course, Villains are constantly on the lookout for us, the Common Neopian Citizen, ready to catch them in the act of Villainy so we can gather the torches and pitchforks and run them out of Neopia. Heroes have no such troubles to worry about.

#5: Loyal allies are nice. Super nice. Great to be able to count on. If you need to move that heavy Babaa Wardrobe, you need a few allies to call upon. If you suddenly realize you're fresh out of Kau Kau Farm Milk, you need an ally whose doorbell you can ring. And, of course, when the Defenders of Neopia call at 2 a.m., you need a loyal ally (or two, or three) you can roust out of bed to fight alongside you. Heroes are blessed with good allies. Heroes typically have MANY allies they can call upon to join the battle against Villains, and at least one strong and loyal ally who is ALWAYS there for moral support. Lisha has Jeran, Tormund has Roberta, King Altador has his council... Heroes always have allies, and they always work together for the good of the cause. Villains, on the other hand, typically work solo. Oh sure, they might have a few nameless henchmen who scurry about and do little tasks. But the Villain does most of the work all on his/her own. So not fun!

#6: Even Villains do the right thing in the end. King Jazan may have had a bad day and "relocated" Sakhmet, but in the end he fought against his father and helped save the day. Lord Darigan possibly made things a little difficult for Meridell for a while there, but eventually he helped overthrow Lord Kass and made peace with King Skarl. Actions typically seen by a Hero, right? Villains often just can't resist the lure of the Heroic Action. Heroes burst in at the last moment, save the day, wave to the cheering public, accept flowers from a pretty Ixi... Admit it, you're now daydreaming about just that scene! The thought of being the Hero that comes in to save Neopia is pretty nice sometimes, and Villains find themselves drawn to that idea more often than they like to admit. This shows that the role of the Hero is just the way to go.

And there you have it – the Top Six Reasons to be the HERO! So when you, dear Neopian, find yourself at a crossroads and you have the chance to choose either Team Villain or Team Hero, consider well your choice. While the path of the Villain may seem cool and attractively dangerous, remember all the perks of being the Hero. Remember the pretty colors, the lack of mobs, the great allies (such as the faeries) and all the other wonderful things that could be yours. It's your choice! But remember: even Villains find themselves "slipping" and picking the role of the Hero. Guess there's just a little bit of the Hero in all of us!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Hero Hot Dog
In the beginning, he was just an ordinary hot dog, destined to be lathered in ketchup, mustard and relish, and greedily eaten by a hungry Neopet.

by marzipan


Faerie Abilities Guide Series: Level 25
This week, we will be looking at the Level 25 tier abilities: An Icicle, Sear, and Irritable Minions.

Also by woccawoccawocca

by dragonsfriend1021


Treasure Hunters: Part Five
"You know, we probably could have found this easily enough by ourselves," Archie mumbled gloomily as he looked up at the magnificent dome-shaped roof of the scrollery above him.

by meganhilty


Heroes' Thoughts On Villain’s Favorites
It's a lot safer to ask a hero for their thoughts on villains than the other way around...

by pikachu315111

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.