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How to Make Fyora Impersonation Cookies


by churo7

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There are many Neopians who have had the pleasure of filling their near-bloated stomachs with all sorts of delicacies. The light, yet filling taste of the rather-rare Air Faerie Munparaberries. An angry cinnamon roll for a tough, yet ever so sweet meal, the taste which stays with you for the entire day. Perhaps, if they are among the most fortunate, they have had the pleasure of having a taste of the scrumptious, saucy Asparagus Borovan Lasagne.

The average citizen of Neopia has no money for such food. We are out in the heat of Tyrannia, getting a free omelette each day, hoping we are fortunate enough to find a shop full of food for one neopoint. The average Neopian isn't willing to spend more than 500 neopoints on a meal. Why, we have to cook our own meals in our little fire faerie ovens, hoping the flaming wings on the back of our oven don't cause a house fire in our poor classic neohome with no insurance. No, the average Neopian has to make do with what they have. But that doesn't mean we can't have some decent meals.

This is for the more frugal members of society who would like a taste of Fyora Cookies. These cookies currently cost 500,000 neopoints, or 166,667 neopoints per cookie. I doubt many of us are willing to pay that much for three cookies. This tutorial will not produce exact replicas of these cookies, but a tasty alternative for a much affordable price: as of writing this, the total comes to 462 neopoints, or 10 neopoints a cookie.

This recipe will produce you up to 4 dozen of these Fyora-cookie-quality cookies. Technically, their name is lofthouse cookies, but who knows what a lofthouse even is? Fyora impersonation cookies makes for a much better name.

You will need the following ingredients for the cookie dough:

  • Half a cup of a Butterfish, softened. This should be about half of the Butterfish You can use the other Butterfish half for the icing. 5 neopoints.
  • Half of a bowl of Sour Cream Hot Dogs, approximately half a cup, preferably with the hot dogs removed. 150 neopoints.
  • One packet of Sugarbunny Surprises, which is essentially a cup of sugar in a bag. 10 neopoints.
  • Two neggs from a Bag of Infinite Neggs. 90 neopoints for a bag, but since there is an infinite number of neggs in a bag, the price per negg is too small to matter.
  • The filling from a Vanilla Gnorbu Biscuit. You will only need half a teaspoon for this. 15 neopoints.

Ideally, you can get Wheat Flour, but at 1000 neopoints, that can be pricey. As an alternative, you can buy a Vase of Pretty Flowers and crush the flowers to produce three cups of flour. That is how flour is produced, isn't it? 40 neopoints.

As there is no such thing as baking powder or soda, alternatives must be made. You should use one and a half teaspoons of Weewoo Face Powder. 50 neopoints.

You can combine the Weewoo Face Powder with a Dented Can of Neocola to produce half a teaspoon of baking soda. 8 neopoints.

Use a large pinch of a Salt Mote. 6 neopoints.

As for the Icing, you can use the following

  • Four bags of Sugarbunny Surprises. 40 neopoints.
  • Two teaspoons of the vanilla extracted from the Gnorbu Biscuit.
  • Haunted Milk. Make sure it doesn't phase out, and whatever you do, do not do any task it asks you to do. Do not make or eat this after midnight. 15 neopoints.
  • The other half of the Butterfish.
  • Half a cup of the shortest vegetables you can find from a Basket of Vegetables. 3 neopoints.
Dip the icing mix in the Rainbow Fountain when no one is looking to paint it. Free.

For the cookie dough, simply mix everything together, until it has formed into one mass of cookie dough. Resist the urge to throw this ball of cookie dough at your enemies, and make it into smaller balls on a pan, and if available, find a mold so you can make the cookies look like Fyora's wings.

Once you have the shape formed, put it in your fire faerie oven at about 350 degrees, long enough so it changes color a bit. On average, this will take ten minutes, though those who have newer fire faerie ovens should simply put it over the flaming wings for a second and hope your cookies don't catch on fire. It may seem slightly underdone, but I assure you, they are not. If you have a new fire faerie oven, they are definitely not underdone.

As for the cream, cream together the Butterfish and shortened vegetables until, well, creamy. Add your sugar and mix until it is smoother than a jazz solo. Add your vanilla and mix together, and add whatever else you have in your kitchen until you get a mix. Ensure this is an entirely smooth mix, and head to the Fainbow Fountain and dip your bowl in. You may have to distract the Fountain Faerie. I recommend having your petpet go up to the Fountain Faerie and let them cling to them, drooling and being a general annoyance. Do not worry if your pet is invisible, it will have the same, if not a greater, effect. On your way home, make sure that no faerie asks you for a quest. If that happens, run away. Run far away and do not go back to Faerieland.

By the time you get home, your cookies should be cooled. Now, you can put the icing on your cookies. Put as much as you want, and be sure to lick the bowl afterwards.

You can let your cookies cool, or if you are anything like me, you will eat your cookies right away. Wrap up any remaining cookies, offer them in bake sales, put it in your shop for as much as you can and hope someone goes for it; whatever works for you.

Upon retrospect and actually making this recipe, I can come to only one conclusion: Fyora Cookies taste horrible. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't have the right to taste luxury once in a while. Even if luxury tastes like a rotten iced fish cake, it is worth the effort of trying at least once. Our struggles for a luxurious life spent at high quality inns shouldn't be spoiled by terrible tasting 500,000 neopoint cookies, after all.

 
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