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Sophie's Stew: The Tale of an Abused Wand?

by _forest_sol_


This is kind of a follow up to Freaky Factory: Promoting Purple Grundo Hatred? But stands alone as well. Happy reading!

Many of us have played Sophie's Stew for years, never knowing the truth. A dark history... an unappreciated enchanted wand... and a thrilling tale, this is the story behind our favorite game!

Hello, my name is Forest. For those who have tuned in for the first time, welcome. For those who regularly watch my show, welcome back! I am here today with a very... unique guest. I am sure many of you are familiar with a game called Sophie's stew. Well, we all know Sophie, of course; her history is rich and has been detailed by other pens than my own. I am here today with her magical enchanted wand. What exactly does an enchanted wand do when it's not bouncing things into a boiling cauldron? How does a wand feel about working with someone who can't be bothered to see her own ingredients into her pot? And how on earth can a wand talk anyway? The answer to these questions and more to come; stay tuned!

Welcome, Mr- er... Miss Staff? Mrs...?

Staff: For the purposes of this interview you may call me Rosalind.

Rosalind? That is a very unique name, may I ask where you came by it?

Rosalind: You may. It is a thrilling tale actually that involves a flying Mynci, a misplaced clock, and a miamouse that could speak. It all began-

Actually... that's okay. I think we'll pass on that one for now. Thank you, though. I am sure it is a thrilling tale.

Rosalind: It is. Your loss.

Anyway, I am thrilled to have found the time to set up this interview. I have been trying to schedule it with your agent for some time now.

Rosalind: That doesn't surprise me. I am a very busy staff, you know.

I know! That witch keeps you run ragged, doesn't she?

Rosalind: She does! I hardly get a moment's rest! It's always catch this, and bounce that, and Grarrl guts you've poisoned the cat again! I hate that cat. It's forever under my feet when all I'm trying to do is-

Feet? You don't exactly have feet.

Rosalind: It's a figure of speech! I'm allowed to have those, aren't I? I am a talking wand, after all!

Yes, how exactly did that come about, may I ask?

Rosalind: You may. It is a thrilling tale involving a flying Mynci, a misplaced clock, and a miamouse that could speak. It all began-

Again with the talking miamice? I actually have a fear of small rodents so if you don't mind...

Rosalind: Oh, one moment while I throw a gummy rat in your general direction then.

Oh please! Don't!

Rosalind: ...I was joking. What kind of reporter are you anyway?

A... very frightened one? Sorry it's hard to tell when someone is joking when they don't exactly have a face. Anyway, I've been meaning to ask you what it's like working for a famous swamp witch?

Rosalind: Well, it's no walk in the park, I can tell you that much. It's occasionally a walk in the swamp, but never in the park. I've never even seen a park if you can believe that, although I hear there are some lovely ones in Faerieland. Perhaps I will visit one if I ever get time off. Maybe... next year some time... or next millennia.

I am sensing a little repressed rage here...

Rosalind: Well, you'd be a little angry too. I mean I am a magical wand with abilities rivalling the faerie queen herself and a brain the size of the brain tree's and what does she have me doing? Bouncing objects across a room. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cause I don't.

I suppose I can understand your frustration, yes. So what kinds of objects does she have you bouncing?

Rosalind: Have you never played this game? Goodness, you reporters don't do any research at all anymore, do you? Kids these days! Anyway, all manner of gross things including but not limited to eyeball wraps, brain flavoured ice cream, dung, codestones, gummy rats-

You mean you actually do have access to gummy rats? Yuck!

Rosalind: I just told you she throws dung into her potions and you're grossed out by a gummy rat?

Well... yeah, rats are all... little and squeaky and... carry diseases and... yuck.

Rosalind: ...Right. Anyway, I bounce these items in all day and all night, with no benefits and no sleep, and no time to watch soap operas at all!

You watch soap operas? I had no idea. What kind?

Rosalind: Oh, you know... All My Kougras, Compadres, Hours of Your Existence, Two Kougras and a Cub...

Good titles, I approve.

Rosalind: Yeah... too bad I never get to actually watch them, pacing the floor all day and night...

That's too bad, but you must get SOME satisfaction out of a job well done, how about all those smiling faces?

Rosalind: Smiling faces? They care nothing for me! It's all about Sophie, Sophie and that meowclops that's just "Soooo cute"... they make me sick, really.

I'm sorry to hear that, so who enchanted you in the first place? Was it Sophie herself? Or maybe one of the faeries?

Rosalind: The faeries? Feh! As if they'd help Sophie, mind you she'd probably chase them off if they tried... but all the same, you'd think they could have done something for her, back then...

Well, didn't Ilere...?

Rosalind: Well, yes, I suppose... but all the same, they could have done more. Poor Sophie, she-

Ah so you DO care for your employer.

Rosalind: Well, maybe a little... she is the one that enchanted me so I could speak, after all.

Aww, that's sweet. Well, I think that's about all the time we have for today. Thank you very much for taking the time out of your very busy schedule to talk with me. It has been a genuine pleasure. Just one last question before we go, exactly what potion is Sophie trying to make with all these ingredients?

Rosalind: Well, that is a very interesting tale that begins with a flying Mynci, a misplaced clock, and a miamouse that could speak...

And that is all the time we have for today, folks! Tune in next time when I talk to a certain Scorchio bent on flying around inside a volcano. Is he lost? Is he questing for something? Is he simply a thrill seeker? Find out next time, Ja!

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