Three Types of Neopians
Special thanks to cosmicfire918, parody_ham, kadface and neo_coaster363 for your feedback in the draft stages!
For this anniversary issue of the Neopian Times, I thought it would be fun to do a mock interview with three types of Neopians that I see active on the Neoboards today. The Neopian social scene has changed so much from, say, three hundred issues ago. Today's Neopians are just as passionate about their 'pets as ever, but—as you'll see—in a rather different way than before.
The fastest-moving Neoboards of today are in the Avatar Chat (AC), Pound Chat (PC), and Battledome Chat (BDC).1 Each chat-group is so distinctive that they have developed their own lingo, customs and abbreviations. They can also easily be personified. "ACer," "PCer" and "BDer" are common terms used to identify people who like to hang out in each of these chat-groups. Although, apparently the BDers don't like to be called as such and prefer to self-identify as "BD Chatters."
Without further ado then, please welcome i_love_avatars, flo, and darklord1988!2
flo: Sorry if I keep disappearing. I'm bumping a board3 trying to trade a VWN4 pet I found in the Pound the other day.
i_love_avatars: Ooh! Are there any Pea Chias5 UFT?6
flo: Not that I know of, sorry.
i_love_avatars: The lab ray zapped my pet into a Starry Grarrl today. Do you think I could trade him for a Fire Blumaroo?7
i_love_avatars: (turns to darklord1988) Ohmigosh! I see that you have a BGC in trades!8 Can you lend it to me for just five seconds? I promise I won't accidentally feed it to my Grarrl. Look, he's in the Neolodge.
darklord1988: Not lending.
i_love_avatars: I've been lent ITTPD, Adam and Meowy for free!9
darklord1988: Not lending.
i_love_avatars: Pleeeeeaaase? I'll return it real quick!
Guys, guys. Could I have your attention for just one moment?
1. How long have you been playing on your current account?
i_love_avatars: 4 months!!
flo: Uhh, don't judge me by my account age. This isn't my first account. My first account's username was horrible, so I deleted it.
darklord1988: I've been here ever since the Meridell vs Darigan wars.
2. How many pets do you currently have?
i_love_avatars: I'm at max pets! This Ruki is an avie pet from a chain-lend, this Grarrl is my lab pet that I'm trying to zap into an avie pet, and the rest are my own pets. I wish I had more pet-slots!!
flo: LOL, me too. Uhh let's see, on this account I have [name] and [name], who are permies.10 They will never be UFT or UFA ever. [name] is a BD pet that I'm training in hopes of one day trading it for that elusive UC,12 and [name] is a pet that I'm holding onto in case the four-way trade I'm negotiating turns out to be successful. I have about twenty pets in total, spread out over five accounts.
darklord1988: Well, I have just one pet, so that when I do Kitchen Quests, all the stat gains go to my battle-pet.13
flo: (ogles darklord1988's pet) Dang. Those are some nice stats.
darklord1988: Thank you.
flo: The name isn't that great, though.
darklord1988: I don't care about names.
flo: But how can you not care about names? What kind of character could you possibly make for a pet with a name like booboo123456?
darklord1988: This pet has been on my account since day one.
flo: (backs away slowly) Okay.
3. How well-fed do you keep your pets?
i_love_avatars: My Grarrl is bloated cuz he's in the Neolodge. I wish somebody would lend me the BGC already!! The chain-lend pet I dunno when she last ate. And this pet is Very Bloated cuz I was trying to get the Bon Appetit avatar earlier. Still no luck. He just keeps eating everything! Makes me want to pound him!
flo: If you do, I may be willing to take him off your hands. He may be good for a trade in the lower tiers. I'd have to keep him on a side, though. I'm reserving this account's two remaining transfers in case that four-way trade works out.
i_love_avatars: Do you have a Pea Chia? OwO
flo: ... Nevermind. To answer your question, Ms. Neopian Times Reporter, my pets are happy and bloated all the time. I keep them lodged because I want them to look nice when people click on their petlookups.
darklord1988: I am currently Negging my pet,14 so I keep him on the borderline of starvation. If I need to battle with him, though, I'll make sure he's not hungry.
4. Do your pets have petpets?
i_love_avatars: My pets all have avie petpets attached! My Gruslen will be aged in ten days, I can't wait!! The lab-ray pet has a disposable petpet attached. I'm trying to zap it into a Pile of Soot for the avatar. And I want the Turmaculus to eat it and give me his avatar already!!
flo: My permies all have matching petpets. I am proudest of my Kadoatie! Took me months of saving to get.
darklord1988: Well, I suppose a petpet is useful for waking up the Turmaculus so that he can make my pet stronger.
5. What is your idea of the perfect pet?
i_love_avatars: An MSP Poogle.15 Oh, the fonts I could make!
flo: My dreamie would be a UC Faerie Draik with a short, capitalized real name like "Gloria."
darklord1988: 750 strength and defence, and over a thousand hitpoints. Only ten more months until I get there, assuming my investments pay off as well as I think they will.
i_love_avatars: Where do you get so much NP?!?!
6. What do you consider the ultimate act of rudeness?
i_love_avatars: Taking a lender's item and passing it around to a whole bunch of other people without the lender's permission. That's just so rude! They're the reason why nobody lends anything anymore. I would never do anything like that! (looks wistfully at darklord1988)
darklord1988: Weren't you lent ITTPD, Adam and Meowy for free?
i_love_avatars: Yes, but I still need BGC!
darklord1988: There is no pleasing an ACer.
flo: Well, I personally hate it when an applicant says she will love her new pet with all of her soul and will enter him in the Beauty Contest and Customisation Spotlight and buy him a petpet and keep him on her main account for EVER... and then a month later, she goes and puts him UFT!
i_love_avatars: Was she wearing the Adam avatar?
flo: Uhh, what does that have to do with anything?
i_love_avatars: (whispers) Never trust a person who is wearing the Adam avatar.
darklord1988: I consider the ultimate act of rudeness to be using Kacheek Flour in a 2-player fight. It makes me laugh, really. If you can't beat my pet then you can't beat him. No need to spend all that NP on changing his species just to troll me.
7. What is your most anticipated Random Event?
i_love_avatars: A visit from Sloth, the Tooth Faerie, the Black Pteri, or the Fountain Faerie!! I still need those avatars.
flo: Definitely the Fountain Faerie. If I could offer a custom FFQ16 on that WN UC faerie, I'd be one step closer to my dreamie. A paint brush from Jacko the Phantom Painter would be nice, too. Stealthy pets go for a lot these days...
darklord1988: I could care less about the Fountain Faerie. I prefer doing quests for the Faerie Queen or Battle Faerie. It also makes me very happy when the Battle Faerie appears and my pet suddenly gains a level!
8. What is your most feared Random Event?
i_love_avatars: A visit from the Pant Devil when I'm lending or borrowing avatar items! Aghhh, I wouldn't know what to do. I might accidentally close the window without even capturing a screenie for proof!
darklord1988: And you wonder why lenders are rare.
i_love_avatars: But I'll be super careful!
darklord1988: As will I.
flo: I used to be afraid of Boochi. Thank the heavenly TNT for reducing Boochi's aim!
i_love_avatars: I know right! I can finally keep a non-baby pet as my active, to match my avatar.
flo: (looks sideways at i_love_avatars' active pet and does not comment)
darklord1988: TNT is biased against us BD Chatters, I swear. I've had TWO visits from the Tax Beast lately when I was auction-sniping. And I hear somebody lost his Sword of Thare17 to an item-stealing RE. TNT needs to step up their game.
9. What do you do with your Neopoints?
i_love_avatars: Neopoints? What Neopoints? I waste them all at the Lever of Doom and Wheel of Extravagance. But if I had any I would use them for collat. (stares wistfully at darklord1988 again)
flo: I spend all my NP on paint jobs and customisations. My next goal is to get the Water Paint Brush for my active. She has the deluxe Island Paint Brush clothes already.
darklord1988: You guys spend too much. All the NP I have left over from training my pet goes into investments for my next big weapon upgrade.
flo: ... Okay?
10. What do you do with your Neocash? (Or what would you buy if you had Neocash?)
i_love_avatars: Neoboard pens!! I have one hundred font and avatar combos that I like to use, and it's so much trouble to have to switch between them all the time.
flo: Uhh I buy way more NC than I'd care to admit. Most of it goes toward clothes, trinkets and backgrounds for my pets.
darklord1988: I don't usually buy NC, but if I had any, I'd get those cookies that give you faerie quests or cut down on training time.
flo: Faerie Quest Fortune Cookies and Training Fortune Cookies?
darklord1988: Yeah, those.
flo: If you have any wearables on my trade-list that were from events like five years ago, I could trade you?
darklord1988: I have no gift boxes, sorry.
11. What games do you like to play on the Neoboards?
i_love_avatars: Avatar Simon and Rate My Font! But I hate it when people say my font is only 5/10. I deserve a 10/10!
flo: Rate My Pet, perhaps, or Steal a Pet from the Person Above You. Usually, though, I am too busy bumping my trade board to be playing games.
darklord1988: Well, the boards are for organizing matches and guild events. Here at the BD Chat we don't play Neoboard games.
12. What do you like most about your section of the Neoboards?
i_love_avatars: Looking at all the pretty fonts and avatars! And talking to people. And working on avatars together. And complaining together when we can't get the random ones. It just warms my heart to see people lending each other avatar items and sharing tips on how to achieve avatars. The AC is my home!
flo: I like checking out people's pets, how they're named, how they're dressed, and how their petlookups are designed and coded. Some of those petlookups are just jaw-droppingly amazing, with stories and art and everything. Makes you want to take their pet and squeeze the stuffing out of them! Though it depresses me when I realize how bad my coding skills are in comparison, haha. No wonder none of my adoption apps are successful.
darklord1988: Here at the BD Chat, people are actually civil. They don't expect you to give them things for free. And some of us can be very nice, too. We can give you tips re: which weapons are best for your tier, and which faerie abilities are best to train, if you'd only ask.
i_love_avatars: (hearing only the word "ask") Do you know of any BD pets I can borrow to def—
flo and darklord1988: (together) No.
13. What would you do if your section of the Neoboards got deleted?
i_love_avatars: Oh no. I would die! X_X
flo: Uhh, I would migrate to Customisation maybe? Or Art. There's no escaping the BC spammers18 on the PC, anyway.
darklord1988: I suppose I would have to rely more heavily on the guild boards and Neomails between guild leaders, to organize battles.
14. What events do you most enjoy?
i_love_avatars: Events that give avatars! *_* I still need the Battleground ones. I've never been on a winning team!
darklord1988: That doesn't surprise me.
flo: I don't much care for the Battleground avs... the only pet they'd go with would be a Brown pet? Or Biscuit pet? Personally I watch for the pet-species days. I look forward to when new clothes and pet-colours are introduced.
darklord1988: Neopia will never again see the likes of the glory-days of Meridell vs Darigan.
15. What's on your list of dailies?
i_love_avatars: Everything!! Spinning the Wheel of Knowledge, questing for Edna, visiting the Snowager, talking to the kings in Meridell and Brightvale... OHMIGOSH. I almost forgot to talk to the Discarded Magical Blue Grundo Plushie of Prosperity! Laters, people. (sprints off)
flo: Uhh, well, I poundsurf to look for good names, and I check the PC every day to see if there are any good pets UFA or UFT. When I'm in a good mood I work on my latest adoption app, or Beauty Contest or Customisation Spotlight entry.
darklord1988: I usually just train my pet, check out the latest trades, restock, resell and auction-snipe. Oh hey. There's an underpriced Plushie Cybunny Morphing Potion on the first page of the auctions now. Excuse me, if you will. (moves toward the Auction House)
flo: (chases him) THAT MP BELONGS TO ME. Do you have any idea what a WN Plushie Cybunny could trade for?
darklord1988: (from a distance) No, and I don't care.
flo: Wait up!!
I hope you've enjoyed my little satirical piece. If you liked it, you may also appreciate these related articles:
PC Archetypes by marzipan
Six Types of Traders You'll Meet in the Trading Post by becciness
Happy Neopetting! As they say on the PC these days.
1. The Trading/Auctions Chat, Help Chat and Games Chat are also very fast-moving, but cater to a more general crowd (with the exception of specific games like Plushie Tycoon, Food Club and the Kadoatery, which each have their own focus-groups). The Customisation Chat and NC Mall Chat I see as sub-categories of the PC crowd.
2. Please note, these are not meant to be literal portrayals. Most individual players are active in more than one part of the Neopian community and are far more complex than these caricatures. These fictional usernames are made up by me and do not currently exist at the time of writing. Any resemblance to actual usernames is entirely coincidental.
3. If you look at PC boards, you will typically see a title like "Seeking WN Island Krawk," accompanied by a short paragraph in the first post explaining what the trader is looking for. Then, post after post with nothing but a smiley in them. The purpose of these posts is to "bump" the board back up to the top of the first page so that it is visible among the constant streams of boards.
4. VWN = Very Well-Named. Because the name of a pet is the one thing you cannot change about it, names have a high trading value on the PC.
5. The "Super Attack Pea!" (SuAP) avatar is one of the most highly sought-after avatars in the AC. In order to get it, you need to equip a Super Attack Pea (a weapon worth tens of millions of Neopoints) to a Pea Chia, which is a rare colour-species combination.
6. UFT = Up For Trade. A related term is UFA, meaning "up for adoption."
7. The Fire Blumaroo is—you guessed it—an avatar pet. The trade that is being proposed here is a definite under-offer on the ACer's part.
8. BGC = Bony Grarrl Club. Considered one of the "Big Three," this avatar is obtained by equipping a Bony Grarrl Club to a Grarrl. Battle-wise, the BGC is a terrible weapon, but because of its high Neopoint value (in the tens of millions), if a player had one for sale he would probably advertise in the BDC to avoid being spammed by "lend me" requests. Of the three social groups, the BD Chatters tend to be the most interested in investing and reselling, due to the high costs of weapons and training.
9. ITTPD = I Taunt The Pant Devil, an avatar acquired by carrying items with a very high combined estimated value and refreshing in one's inventory. Adam = the Adam avatar, acquired by visiting the About Us page while carrying the same amount of Neopoints as the price of Asparagus, usually around 5 to 10 million. Meowy = the Meowclops avatar, acquired by attaching the Meowclops petpet to one's pet, and then visiting Quick Ref. The Meowclops is currently valued at around 8 to 10 million Neopoints.
10. gb2ac = Go Back to the AC. A common insult hurled at ACers who intrude into the PC or BDC.
11. permie = permanent pet. Another common term on the PC is "dreamie," for "dream pet."
12. UC = Unconverted. In the year 2007, Neopets became customisable and a lot of Neopets art was updated. Players with painted pets whose old and new looks differed dramatically could choose whether or not to "convert" their pets to the new look. Some chose not to, and over time the UC pets became highly sought after as a status symbol on the PC, since the only way for a newer player to obtain a UC is by trading.
13. After completing a Kitchen Quest, the Flotsam Chef sometimes awards stat boosts to a random pet on the player's account.
14. To Negg one's pet = to speed-train a pet using Neggs, such as the Armoured Negg for defence points. Pets get hungrier faster when they are "starving," so some BDers literally keep their pets starving in order to feed them more Neggs in the same amount of time.
15. The MSPP is the last of the "Big Three." To get it, you need to carry the Malevolent Sentient Poogle Plushie (TCG)— valued at tens of millions of Neopoints—and look at it in your inventory. The MSP Poogle is a rare pet that matches this avatar.
16. FFQ = Fountain Faerie Quest. After completing such a quest, a player gains access to the Rainbow Fountain where she can paint her pet almost any colour she desires. A "custom FFQ" is an offer to make somebody's dreamie using this method.
17. Sword of Thare = A weapon currently valued at 11 million Neopoints.
18. BC spammer = someone who has a pet entered in the current Beauty Contest and is campaigning for votes, usually by placing a voting link in their Neosignature.