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The Gallery of Lesser Evil

by noxlyx


When it comes to Neopia and its villains, everyone knows who to keep an eye out for. After all, what do you do when you see Dr. Sloth laughing maniacally just a few streets away from you? You turn around and walk away, of course. What about the Shadow Usul? When you see her slinking down the streets, you immediately run as fast as you can. Vira? Better pray that she doesn't spot you and take some petty act of vengeance all because you're prettier than her.

While we all know who the big boss villains are - and if you don't, I highly suggest that you go take a peek at the Gallery of Evil - there are those lesser known villains going about Neopia and causing trouble as well. Who are these villains you ask? Well, this article right here is going to be your introduction to these lesser villains. Some of them you might recognize from the time they pop up and terrorize you out of your neopoints, others you might have been fortunate enough to avoid. Either way, welcome to the Gallery of Lesser Evil where we count down some of Neopia's lesser known villains.

- - -

#1) The Bullies

No one really knows the names of the Bullies. All we know is that they are a muscular trio consisting of a Korbat, Grarrl and Skeith that walk around Neopia scaring and harassing innocent Neopians going about their day. You could be shopping casually in Neopia Central, browsing the latest fashion at the Uni Clothing Shop when all of a sudden you hear some grunts. The Bullies communicate to each other strictly in grunts. By the time you hear their tell-tale grunts, however, it's too late. The Bullies have already spotted you and deemed you as their next victim. The next thing you know you're yanked upside down hanging by your ankles, flippers or tail and shaken up and down and up and down. All those Neopoints you have in your pocket, ready to spend on some nice clothes, come tumbling out. The coins clatter on the floor as you hear some derisive laughter as one of the Bullies gather the coins. Then, you're left on the ground, dazed and confused by what just happened. The amount of Neopoints they take isn't too much but it's enough to leave your pride - and whatever part of your body they grabbed - sore for a long while.

#2) The Bug Brothers

The only bugs that are cute and adorable are petpetpets, or as Professor Clodbottle calls them: P3s. Even then, there are some P3s that are quick icky and gross. After all, most bugs are gross. However, there are no bugs more icky, gross disgusting and despicable than the Bug Brothers. These two bugs are parasites that like to think that they are bad and tough. In reality, these two are nothing more than a nuisance. The time it takes for them to fleece your Neopoints from you is worth more than the amount of Neopoints itself. Thanks to their minuscule size, the Bug Brothers aren't able to carry a lot of Neopoints. In fact, you can't help but wonder why the Bug Brothers won't just put their focus on a way that is more productive than thievery. If they just acted cute and adorable, some petpet would be more than glad to adopt them. But either way, because of how annoying they are, they have earned their spot in the Gallery of Lesser Evil.

#3) Icy Skeletons

Despite their name, the Icy Skeletons are not limited to just Terror Mountain. These criminals are known to not only be annoying but persistent. After all, when you are an icy skeleton wouldn't you use it to your advantage to steal neopoints from hardworking Neopians? Meeting this frosty gang is usually something that happens at random. All you have to be doing is minding your own business when all of a sudden - BAM! - you're surrounded by an arctic chill and all around you are the most horrifying faces you will ever see. The remains of Neopets that should be dead but aren't are all looking at you with ghastly grins and empty sockets. They're not even just bones but bones that have been frozen over and glint dangerously in the light. What's worse is that some evil magic keeps them melting. These Skeletons don't do anything per se. They don't poke or harass you. Neither do they say anything. They just stand there and stare at you with uncomfortable glares. This unconventional band of thieves don't steal from you. They just follow you until you willingly take out all the Neopoints you're carrying and shove it at them hoping that they will leave you alone. Once paid, they will leave one by one.

Speaking of willingly giving up your Neopoints...

#4) The Greedy Kadoatie

Kadoaties are suppose to be cute. They are also known to be extremely annoying. None is more annoying than the Greedy Kadoatie. This mutant petpet is the bane of anyone's existence. A normal Kadoatie's mew is grating. A mutant Kadoatie's mew is nerve wrecking. The Mutant Greedy Kadoatie's mew is like electric fire burning at your brain and nails running against chalkboard in your ears. The Greedy Kadoatie is known for perching itself in some hidden alleyway, lurking in the shadows and searching for its victim. Once the victim is spotted, it starts mewing. The mewing is soft at first like a little buzz in your head. Then it gets louder and the buzz gets more annoying. Then it gets louder and louder and louder until you finally can't take it anymore and you turn around and see the Greedy Kadoatie. It seems to grin at you with the most obnoxious grin and continues mewing. You can yell at it, scream at it and even try to kick it. It'll just dodge and continue mewing. Eventually you give up and give it a 100 neopoints. It's still mewing. 1000 neopoints. It's STILL mewing. 2000? 3000? HOW MUCH MORE? 4000?! NO?!?! 5000?!?!?! At 5000 neopoints the Greedy Kadoatie finally stops mewing. It gives you that same obnoxious grin before turning around leaving you. You want to throw your shoe at it but you know it's no use. That insufferable petpet doesn't care about you or your threats. It just wants your neopoints.

#5) The Tax Beast/The Angry Tax Beast

Did you know that as a citizen of Neopia you have to pay taxes? No? Well, I didn't either. In fact, I don't think Neopia has taxes, so why is there a Tax Beast? There is only one answer to that: because some little monster has found a way to game the system and scare Neopians into giving 10% of their Neopoints to it for free. After all, everyone wants to be a good citizen and when what looks like an official tax collector comes knocking on your door, a good citizen will pay up their due. However, if you take a good look at the Tax Beast you'll see immediately why he's fraud. For one thing, the Tax Beast doesn't have any official Neopian government uniform. When the Tax Beast goes tax collecting all he carries is a brown sack where he stashes all the Neopoints he collects. A second thing is that the Tax Beast simply demands that you pay your taxes because you haven't been paying your bills on time. He doesn't show you any proof that you haven't been paying your bills. He just states it as a fact and demands your money. If you try to argue with the Tax Beast, he'll just simply continue to scare and harass you until you give him your Neopoints. After all, are you sure that Neopia doesn't have taxes? It's also best that you give him your Neopoints as soon as possible. After all, the Tax Beast is known for his anger issues and when he becomes the Angry Tax Beast he won't be asking for 10% of your Neopoints. He'll be asking for a whopping 25% instead.

- - -

Well, there you have it.

The Gallery of Lesser Evil, a gallery dedicated to the pettier villains that roam all of Neopia. Although their schemes aren't as big and grand as those that reside in the Gallery of Evil, those who are featured here are just as cold and black hearted. The only words of advice that I can give to you is to keep your eyes open and your money pouches close. You never know when you might run into these greedy evil villains.

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