Ten Unnecessarily Creepy Toys
As I was shopping around the Neopian Bazaar's Top Shop for a new toy for my Neopets I noticed something. There are a lot of toys out there that are a little... creepy. Sure sure, they look adorable and cuddly on the surface. They hide behind the guise of adorable and cutesy, but do NOT be fooled. These toys look like they were made from the hand of Sloth himself! Meant to strike fear into the hearts of Neopets everywhere. I can't help myself from wondering though: are these toys MEANT to be creepy? Did something happen to them in the process of being made where something just went terribly, terribly wrong? Either way, there is no reason for these toys to be this creepy (OR dangerous!). This is just a sample of the creepy toys that are out there in Neopia. I can only do so much. Keep these items away from your Neopets at all costs!
1. Adorable Blue Shoyru Kite - r101
Go fly a kite with this adorable blue Shoyru kite!
No. Do not fly this kite! Even the name is hiding its evil. The smile on the so-called "adorable" blue Shoyru is just down right spooky. Why is it so happy? Who has flown it recently? Was it Sloth by any chance? You just can't know these things! Also, do you know anything about Shoyrus? No? Well, let me tell you something: Shoyrus are bad news. They are just the picture of hidden evil. A kite made after them? HA! I am not fooled! The string is so short, it's so cheap. When you fly it, it'll jump off the string and fly through the air with razor-straight edges. Do you KNOW who flies in the air? Yeah, that's correct. Pteris. Please do not fly this kite and hurt the Pteris with this vile kite!
2. Baby Gelert Bobblehead - r101
This baby Gelert bobble head will agree with whatever you have to say.
Oh, dear. This one might be the worst yet. It's so creepy I just have to gather myself a minute. First off, it says it will agree with whatever you have to say. Everything you say? In the wrong hands, this is dangerous. Like say I said I wanted it to, I don't know... rob the National Bank of Neopia?! I wanted it to go steal Fyora's staff?! This toy will do that and more, with a smile on its creepy bobbing face. Its head will not stop bobbing, day in and day out. With its head bobbing comes a squeak. That squeak is said to drive many Neopians into sleepless nights and terrible headaches. That squeak itself is worse than any of the kadoaties at the Kadoatery! (And we all know how terrible they sound.) A fun little baby Gelert toy? I think not.
3. Bruce Pull Along - r101
Whee! This is a fun new friend! This was given out by the Advent Calendar in Y11.
Is this a serious toy? There is no reason for this level of creepy. Its face! Its sled! Keep it away from your Neopets! The description SAYS that it's a fun new friend. That is nothing but a lie. Everything about him from his fake happy smile and beady little guys scream that he is a terror. Once this sled gets going, it will not stop. Oh, your Neohome is at the end of the hill? Or some other random poor pet's? Well, I'm sorry but this little terrifying toy is going to take it out. Also, what if your poor little Neopet gets trapped on it while it's ended toward that poor innocent mutant Gnorbu's house? It's not the drooling Gnorbu's fault you picked bad in your toy choices! Play at your own risk. (Personally, I'd just avoid all items from the Advent Calender. Statistics say that they are the most dangerous and creepy.)
4. Cheery Blossom - r180
Pets will learn intelligence and responsibility by caring for their Cheery Blossom.
Cheery Blossom. Look at you, you're already fooled by the name! No, this is not a happy little plant that will teach your pet intelligence and responsibility! Look at its smile! Look at its face! The horror! I've heard that just one look into its eyes and boom. The intelligence and responsibility that you already had? Even the happiness that you've been feeling all month? Just one look and it's all gone! Beware.
5. Dieter Action Figure - r180
Complete with snowmunching action! This was a prize from the Advent Calendar in Y6.
What did I tell you about Advent Calender items! This "adorable" little Dieter action figure comes complete with snowmunching action. Do you know what the real Dieter's job is? To eat snow and attack poor little snow worms! They are just sitting around in their little ice blocks and what do they have to deal with? Some overweight polarchuck who thinks he has the right to eat their homes! Plus, just look at it - too creepy. It most likely WILL bite your Neopet's fingers. Do not let them anywhere near this toy!
6. Fyora Halloween Wind Up Toy - r101
Make sure she doesn't drop any candy!
This one might really be the creepiest of all, just by looks alone. I mean really! Fyora is a kind, gentle, and just ruler who helps every Neopet she sees. This little mock toy? It looks like it wants to lock you and your Neopets in a closet and eat all your food. That face, that smile! Who could have made this terrible thing? I don't think I have to say anything else on this matter.
7. Kougra Gnome-in-the-box - r68
You never know what might pop out of a Neopian Gnome-in-the-box.
I feel like by now that you don't need me to say anything more about these spooky items - but I will. Here we have the Kougra Gnome-in-the-box. At least this one tries to warn you about it! Do you really want that Kougra jumping out at your Neopet's face? I didn't think so! Everything about this item just sickens me. Avoid it.
8. Imiya Pull Along - r89
Make sure you don't hit too many bumps along the way.
Another pull along toy. I think this one is much, much creeper. What exactly is Imiya dreaming of? Taking over the world. What does a toy that is made after her sleep of? The exact same thing! Hiding behind her fake adorable Aishaness hides a dark mind. Neopians everywhere think she is just a poor, sweet Aisha who always gets awoken while she dreams of math? Wrong. She dreams of things that even Sloth would deem wrong. Do not buy a toy that is created after her. The description even warns you: do not annoy Imiya. Do not annoy any form of her.
9. Jimmi and Woogy Egg Dolls - r101
How sweet! These cuddly companions were lovingly crocheted just for you. This prize was awarded by Abigail for beating her Daily Dare score in Y13.
How sweet, someone made these just for you! How completely rude of them. What kind of sick person would make this item? Look at them! Their faces are terrible. They look like they are thinking of ruling Neopia, of stealing it and making all Neopians their minions. Of course it's hidden, like every other item on this list. Do not be fooled, my friend; an evil lurks within these so-called lovingly crocheted egg dolls.
10. Kaleidoscope - r101
Oh.... look at all the pretty patterns! This toy was given out for Neopets 9th birthday.
Last but not least, a nice little colourful kaleidoscope. You shouldn't be fooled by this by now. One look into this "harmless" little kaleidoscope and your Neopet will only see stars for days! The worst part is that this item was given out to everyone as a birthday celebration! The nerve!
Creepy Wind-Up Meepit - r101
Augh! It won't stop moving!
This toy is actually pretty safe and adorable. You should buy it for your pet!