Eight Reasons Dr. Sloth Isn’t As Evil As You Think
Since Dr. Frank Sloth burst onto the scene in Neopia's Year 2, he's earned a bad rap. Quite unfairly, might I add. Sure, once upon a time he may have had a tiny lapse in judgment and tried to take over Neopia once or twice. No biggie. Some people just don't know how to forgive and forget. Those of us with more open minds are able to see how Dr. Sloth has managed to turn himself around and successfully head down a path of virtue.
Since his minor lapse years ago, Dr. Sloth has done his fair share of repenting and has become one of Neopia's most prominent crusaders for good, though very few Neopians seem to recognize the former villain's many attempts to reconcile his evil ways. One of Neopia's most misunderstood figures, under Dr. Sloth's tough exterior, he is nothing but kind-hearted and generous. Don't believe it? Well the proof is in the spooky lime pudding. Here's six reasons I've come to love Dr. Sloth and you should too.
He's generously gifted his avatar to many a Neopian.
As many long-time residents of Neopia can attest, Dr. Sloth has provided plenty us with one of our very first random avatars. Other prominent figures including the Snowager, King Hagan, King Skarl, Edna and Turmaculus are much stingier with granting use of their beloved Neoboard tokens. Dr. Sloth, kind soul that he is, shares his avatar much more freely. Who can deny this is anything but generous on Dr. Sloth's part? Dr. Sloth's image appears on at least two additional avatars, which he has also generously shared with the Neopian population.
He bears a striking resemblance to the Happiness Faerie.
It'll probably come as a great surprise to many, but shrewd Neopians have long pointed out that the esteemed Dr. Sloth bears more than a passing resemblance to the great Happiness Faerie. Anyone who looks like our beloved faerie of happiness couldn't be all bad, now could they?
He created the Virtupets Space Station.
One of Neopia's most beloved lands was created by Dr. Sloth himself. Virtupets Space Station has brought us such enjoyable games as Typing Terror, Neverending Boss Battle, Evil Fuzzles From Beyond the Stars, and among others. It's also home to the battledome's Neocola Centre and the gourmet club's favourite eatery, Grundo's Café. Any Neopian who has visited the Virtupets Space Station will tell you it's an ideal spot to spend a fun-filled day with your Neo-family.
He brought us Grundos.
Let's not forget that if it wasn't for Dr. Sloth and the Virtupets Space Station, Neopia would have never been introduced to the adorable alien species known as Grundos. Though Dr. Sloth is infamously known for enslaving these lovable aliens, this reporter thinks that enslave is an awfully harsh choice of word. It's quite apparent that Dr. Sloth's legions of Grundo followers adore him and would willingly follow their master, er, I mean idol, to the ends of Neopia. Of their own free will. Brainwashing had nothing to do with it. Really.
He hands out transmogrification potions like candy.
Now I'm sure many of you will think this is terribly horrible on his part; after all, wanting our poor Neopets to be so horribly disfigured is hardly nice. You're looking at it all wrong. Dr. Sloth could very easily zap Neopets directly with his laser of DOOM. But of course he wouldn't do that! He's kind enough to give Neopets a choice that in the matter. He's simply providing an alternative for those who reject frills and bows and prefer not to shop at the ritzy NC Mall. As for those who decide against becoming mutant? Sloth's transmogrification potions are in high demand among his legions of adoring fans. Selling his generous gift on the trading post will net a tidy profit that your account at the National Neopian will surely appreciate.
He is responsible for the Neocola Machine.
Neopia's favourite vending machine has Dr. Sloth's stamp all over it. Thanks to Dr. Sloth's thoughtfulness, Neopians no longer have to travel all the way to Neopia Central from Kreludor to quench their thirst. Not in the mood for a can of Dr. Slother? Well, surely you'll enjoy his fun booby prizes that allow you to remind yourself how much you love Sloth! Who could say no to A Fake Sloth Tattoo or a Plastic Ring of Sloth?
He won the Year 10 Gormball Championship.
The average Neopian probably isn't aware, but Dr. Sloth is quite the sportsman. A gracious winner to the core, Dr. Sloth competed in the Gormball Championship in Year 10 and managed to take home a victory. Does anyone believe the powers that be would allow poor sportsmanship in one of Neopia's most visible events? Of course not. Dr. Sloth demonstrated his skill and captured the trophy with talent, grace and humility.
He probably had something to do with the Lever of DOOM.
Any time Neopians hear the phrase "of DOOM" they know something special is involved. In this case, it's probably everyone's favourite former-villain, Dr. Sloth. (Every generous mastermind must fund their super fun giveaways somehow, after all.) Though Dr. Sloth has never publicly admitted a connection to this favourite landmark, it was discovered on Virtupets, the land Dr. Sloth created from the ground up, providing him the perfect opportunity to build in some hidden features. Though some residents of Neopia bemoan the Lever of DOOM, the avatar it grants is in high demand, and those who manage to win it show it off with pride. They should once again thank Dr. Sloth for generously providing them with the opportunity to win such a lovely symbol of their devotion to his cause.
So there you have it. Eight reasons why poor maligned Dr. Frank Sloth isn't nearly as evil as some Neopians *coughthespacefaerie* would like us to think. Dr. Sloth's benevolent ways may not be as flashy as the Faeries', but we'd best not forget that Dr. Sloth has done plenty of good for Neopia. Who knows? Perhaps someday we'll be able to look up Dr. Sloth in the Book of Heroes where he rightfully belongs.