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Putchey's Petpet Rescue

by klarevoyant


Oh, hullo, I'm Putchey. To the average Neopian, I may seem like an ordinary, chubby baby Chomby but I'm here to straighten some things out. Now, I am guessing that you are here because you heard some rumors floating around...

      In the days leading up to that day, I had heard about a particular mutant Chia named Florg who was transferred to the Neopian zoo after its appetite and moody attitude became notoriously infamous. Eager little Aishas and Xweetoks alike would gather around the cage and giggle with delight every time Florg would let out a sob, howl, laugh, or burp. It really was a popular exhibit - even more interesting than Poogle racing!

      Once Florg became the star of a new reality game called Feed Florg, I decided to investigate. I was a brand new graduate of the Academy on Krawk Island and was looking for a job making neopoints.

      Now, as most of you know, there are many petpet games, including Meepit VS. Feepit, Petpet Rescue, Petpet Cannonball, Petpet Plunge, Snowmuncher, and other classics

      Well, Feed Florg is similar: a claw drops petpets onto the table and the contestant must keep them on the table while Florg cries and eventually gobbles the naive victims down. My dream was to be the veterinarian for the petpets who managed to fall off the table and survive. But the only opening available was a position listed as "The Claw." Hoping to be promoted to vet later, I took the job. Unfortunately, it was less of a dream and more of a nightmare than I first thought it would be. As "The Claw," I had to hand-select petpets that were destined to be eaten by the Florg. I would scoop the poor dears up by controlling the claw and plop them onto the table, where they would cry and run for their lives. *shutters* I tried to choose petpets that were ill and destined to parish anyway, but the task of playing The Claw was just too horrendous and heart-wrenching.

      After about a week on the job, I became fed up with the constant torture I had to put these innocent petpets through. In my dreams I continuously heard their pleas as they were devoured by Florg.

      One day, I was walking home after a tiring and particularly emotional day at work when I passed by the Kadoatery. At first I thought their mewing was my imagination; remembrance of the petpets I had fed to Florg. But as their mewing grew louder and more desperate, I turned and saw it. The piles and piles of cages. Row upon row of helpless Kadoaties, abandoned by their owners. There was a group of feeders huddled around the cages, obsessively checking their watches for the main pending. About every half hour or so, the maintenance replaced the well-groomed kadoaties with the most hungry, straggly, and feral ones they could find. As the main went, I saw a few pink, island, white, blue, green, and spotted kadoaties brought out. They were crying and shaking the bars of their cages, trying to escape. Some of their eyelids were scarred, their tails mangled, their fur wildly knotted, their ungroomed claws ready to swipe, and their mouths rabid. Frantic sounds of despair echoed through the Kadoatery, sending a chill through my spine.

      Outraged by the treatment of these kads, I left the scene.

      As I continued on my daily route home, my stomach rumbled. I checked the clock at the top of the page: 5:34 pm NST. YES! Dinner time! I swung in for a bite to eat at the food shop in Neopia Central. Perusing the items for sale, I found a snorkle snout. Prices had increased because so many owners wanted that flashy avatar, but it tasted decent nonetheless. But I got to thinking... snorkle snouts are only another example of tolerated petpet abuse. Where do these snorts come from? Snorkles of course! Who would want to eat the nose of their once-beloved petpet? Who would want to look at a living creature while eating its face?

      This was the shocking truth. What is Neopia coming to? Locked up kadoaties, feeding petpets to Florg, eating their noses? What's next – shooting them out of a cannon? Oh, wait... they have that, too!! It is time for us to stick up for petpet mistreatment on this planet. I bet that even Dr. Sloth treats his pets better on Kreludor.

      I quickly bargained with the cashier and paid 831 neopoints for a tasty (vegetarian) Fresh Turnip Sandwich and Chocolate Milk and left the store. As I strolled through the plaza on my way home, I passed several pets walking their petpets on leashes. They would stop to give their petpet a pat, or a few scraps of food, then continue on their merry way.

      "If people really love their pets, why is this abuse acceptable?" I wondered. Maybe Neopians are uninformed about this mistreatment epidemic spreading across the planet! That's it – I just need to spread the word, I realized. There shouldn't be a single neopet alive that abuses their harmless petpets this way. The nonsense must end! It's time for a REAL petpet rescue mission.

      Struck by inspiration, I looked around and spotted a Kougra wearing Capri trousers and a paisley blouse.

      "Miss!" I cried out, sprinting towards her. As I approached, I could see that she was in the middle of scratching a scratchcard from the Kiosk. I turned to face her and grabbed the scratchcard to get her full attention.

      "Miss," I repeated, "We are facing a crisis here! We need to spread the horrible truth about petpet mistreatment in Neopia!! Can I count on your support? Will you tell your friends?" I pleaded, eyes wide. But the grimace on her face said it all. She huffed, snatched her scratchcard back and stormed off. Well, that went well.

      Disappointed that my mission had not succeeded, I sat on a nearby bench to think. Well, my method of telling citizens about petpet abuse was rather rash, unprofessional and rude... Instead of yelling at them, I should try educating them, I told myself. After gathering enough courage to rise and walk over to a cordial Kacheek, I politely went up and introduced myself.

      "Oh, hullo, I'm Putchey!" Then I began describing recent incidents of exploitation of petpets.

      "Wow!" she exclaimed after I finished. "You are quite right, sir. I never realized how much we take advantage of our pets. You really should tell others about this!"

      "That's what I've been thinking, but do you have any ideas how to get the word out?" I asked her, relieved she understood my dilemma.

      "Hmm... Well, you could write an article in the Neopian Times! Everyone reads that, so they would all know. Just tell them to be aware when playing games and buying products that it may harm petpets. Hopefully, they realize they should change their ways," she told me.

      "That is a brilliant idea! Thank you so much. I'm going to head home and start writing right away." I tipped my hat and turned to leave.

      "Good luck!" she hollered after me. "I'll look for your story in the Neopian Times!"

      "Thanks!" I called over my shoulder.

      That night, I went home and sat down in front of my typewriter for the first time in years. To be honest, I had never had much practice writing, especially for a newspaper as trendy as the Neopian Times. But I knew this was for a good cause, so I sat down and the words just started coming.

The End

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