A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 191,403,084 Issue: 605 | 26th day of Swimming, Y15
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

14 Unconventional Ways to Beat the Heat

by littlemouse_rbd


Tired of sipping some ice-cold lemonade and relaxing in the shade to beat that summer heat? Okay, neither am I. But why not look into some, shall we say, alternate methods of cooling off? After all, doing the same old same old can get boring! So here are 14 Unconventional Ways to Beat the Heat.

1. Crush dreams: This one is simple, if a little devious. Advertise that you are giving away an unconverted, very well-named pet, no trade or application required. Once you are found out, you will get a refreshing dip in the tears of crushed hopefuls. Or, the users that you duped will angrily beat you senseless. Either way, you won't feel the heat anymore!

2. Make a splash: There's one sure-fire way to escape the heat. Take a trip down under! Under the sea, that is. The cool waters of Maraqua are just the thing to soothe your sunburned soul!

3. Tempt fate: We all know the temptation to sneak a treasure from ol' Snowy. But what happens when this plan backfires? The Snowager's infamous icy blast! ...Which sounds like just the jolt to cool you down during a hot Neopian summer. The Snowager sleeps from 6:00-7:00 a.m., 2:00-3:00 p.m., and 10:00-11:00 p.m. NST. So why not try to slip past him? And hey, if he doesn't wake up, you get a free item! How nifty!

4. Hire help: The Lost Desert royalty has this "beat the heat" thing all figured out. On a hot day (which is every day in the Lost Desert), Princess Amira, Prince Jazan, and other members of the Lost Desert nobility can be seen lounging in chairs as servants fan them with palms and serve them yummy grapes. Why not take a leaf out of their book? (Granted, there aren't that many leaves in the Lost Desert.) While this option is rather pricy (servants demand quite a paycheck these days!), you get the added bonus of feeling like royalty as you glance down your nose at people passing by.

5. Take a dip: Swimming pools can get old fast. Luckily, Neopia has a myriad of other opportunities for swim! Try the Rainbow Pool, for instance. Who says you need a Paint Brush to enjoy its relaxing waters? It is a pool, after all. Or why not try the Healing Springs—this has the added bonus of, you know, healing. Or how about the Rainbow Fountain? Still not doing it for you? Well, there's always a soak in the Wishing Well for the adventurous few who don't mind being hit in the head by Neopoints.

6. Boldly go: Kreludor and the Virtupets Space Station are lovely year round! The Virtupets Space Station has crisp, cool climate control thanks to its technology. And Kreludor barely has an atmosphere, so it's nice and chilly! Of course, there's always space itself, but no matter how cold you are, we don't recommend entering outer space without a spacesuit unless you are a Robot/Space Faerie/Grundo/Chet Flash.

7. Try a new color: There are several Neopet colors perfect for cooling off, like Ice, Snow, and Water. How about popping down to the Lab Ray or splurging on a paint brush? After all, who ever saw a hot Water pet?

8. Snip snip: Some Neopets just aren't built for hot weather. A fluffy Gnorbu or a shaggy Yurble doesn't have as good a chance at keeping cool as a sleek Aisha. (Especially if the Yurble is the Yurble Janitor. Get it? Because he never keeps his cool? Okay, then. Tough crowd.) So when summer rolls around, it's time to break out the scissors and the razors! If only Gnorbu Shearing day happened during the summer.

9. Drink up: Happy Valley's slushies aren't "just the thing for a cold Winter's day," they're also great beverages for those sweltering summer days. With every flavor from Bubblegum to Stone and Slime, there's sure to be one that tickles your fancy. And the jaunt up to Happy Valley will do a lot to cool you off as well! Brr!

10. Visit the Games Room: The Games Room has a surprising number of water games, from Tubular Kiko Racing to Dubloon Disaster. You're sure to find a game you enjoy. And while you're cooling off, you'll earn Neopoints! A win-win situation!

11. Enter the dark side: The dark of the Haunted Woods, that is. After all, who ever heard of a hot day in the Haunted Woods? With its constant creeping mists and eerie chills, the Woods stay nice and chilly. Plus, you might even stumble into a pool of unidentifiable slime or zombie drool. Refreshing! And if that's not enough for you, there's always the chance of accidentally walking through a Ghost Neopet. Nothing like the icy chill of death to cool you off!

12. Anger the King: Notoriously Grumpy King Skarl is always ready to have someone chucked into the moat. All you have to do is make him angry! Possible methods include forgetting to bow before him, wearing your Team Darigan or Brightvale Altador Cup jersey into the throne room, or telling him a really, really bad joke.

13. Look on the bleak side: Have you ever seen an overheated Grey pet? Neither have I! Paint yourself Grey, and you will find yourself constantly surrounded by a nice metaphorical chill. The icy cold of sadness—how refreshing!

14. Embrace it: Ever heard the phrase, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em"? Well, it might be time to apply that philosophy to the heat. If you're tired of looking for ways to cool off, perhaps you should fight fire with fire—literally. To embrace the heat, hop in the Magma Pool or paint yourself Fire. After all, to Magma and Fire pets, being overheated is just the status quo.

Hope you enjoyed these tips to cooling off! Why not try a few? You'll be nice and chilly in no time. :) Of course, some of these tips bring the possibility of injury. As Lawyerbot would say, wear a helmet.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Just Stuffs
Whatcha thinkin' about?

Idea by madamkambria

by l3lo0


The Parade
Gigantic discounts, personal shop assistants and stylists and a full new outfit. He was the happiest Yurble alive.

by pillarbox


You Are So Wasting Time
Nice choice, captain.

by jeanbesta


Shad and Saura: The Secret Belowdecks - Part Six
Shad had given it a bit of thought. "Well, Scarblade is clearly in on it..."

Art by ssjelitegirl

by ssjelitegirl

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.