6 Ways to Defy Dr. Sloth
My fellow Neopians! The time has come for us to stand up for ourselves and fight back against the evil Dr. Sloth! I beg of you, please listen—hey, what are you doing here?! Dr. Sloth?! What are you doing?! Get that away from me!
As I was saying, the time has come for us to take control of this pesky Neopia! It is our duty to fight back against those who dare oppose our glorious leader, Dr. Frank Sloth! And I promise you if you follow my instructions, Neopia will soon be under his rightful control.
1. Find a Scapegoat
Although we all know Dr. Sloth is a great and powerful leader, many refuse to believe such a fact. Those foolish Neopians believe whatever they're told by that no-good Space Faerie. The lies that blasted faerie spews know no bounds. She claims that Dr. Sloth is some evil, ruthless villain! But at least we know the truth.
So what we need to do is find someone else to focus that attention on. That way normal Neopians won't pay us any mind as we go about our business. Might I suggest the meepits? Most Neopians are already frightened of the rather organized petpet. So they'll surely believe anything we say to reduce attention to ourselves and our all-powerful leader.
Misdirection is all it is. The average Neopian is quite simple, so that should be enough to avoid too much attention.
2. Get Funding
Thanks to the Space Faerie, Neopians don't want to donate to our cause. And no, our money problems have nothing to do with Dr. Sloth always giving away transmogrification potions. How could our leader be at fault?!
Ahem, guards. We have another one for you.
Have fun at your re-education class!
Now back to the matter at hand. We need neopoints. We can't exactly gain control over an entire world without some neopoints stashed away. And since we can't rely on Neopians to donate to our just cause, we have to get the money some other way.
Unfortunately, our only option is to steal it. Remember what I said about setting up a scapegoat? Well, this is where that comes in handy. We'll be the ones who rob banks, but it'll be the meepits who take the fall. Genius plan, am I right? Besides, I'm sure the meepits are guilty of such things anyway. What's one more thing to add to the list?
If you're still having qualms about stealing, just think of our leader. He needs our help. He can't rely on the gullible Neopians, so he has to turn to us. You don't want to let him down, do you? He is taking over Neopia for our sake, after all. So robbing a few banks should be no big deal at all.
3. Implement Mind Control Devices
As ridiculous as it sounds, most Neopians believe that Dr. Sloth is the bad guy (when we all know that rotten Space Faerie is). So it's up to us to change their minds, even if it means forcefully doing so. Those stubborn Neopians refuse to listen to reason. It's not like we want to brainwash them or anything; we just don't have a choice.
Besides, we're doing them a favor. All we're doing is opening their minds to the truth. How could we condemn them to living their lives in ignorance? Ignorance is not bliss. It is a sad, meaningless existence. And we're freeing them from such a fate.
We are the heroes! So don't fret about a little thing like brain washing. Instead rejoice! We are merely freeing those Neopians from the brain washing the Space Faerie did.
4. Raise an Army
I want a peaceful life just as much as the next guy, but that just isn't possible. The Space Faerie has her army, so we must have ours! We won't let her take control of countless Neopians without a fight.
Just us as an army isn't enough. We need far more numbers. It's up to us to mold our newly brain re-washed allies into the perfect Space Faerie fighting machines. We don't want a mere victory, no. We want an absolutely crushing victory! The Space Faerie must tremble beneath our might! She must rue the day she ever decided to oppose our leader!
5. Eliminate the Space Faerie
The Space Faerie is easily our biggest foe. With her in the picture it is impossible for us to proceed with our mission. After her mindless army is defeated she should be easy enough. Her power solely lies in her persuasive words rather than her battle strength. She is the complete opposite of Dr. Sloth.
Somehow, Dr. Sloth has been defeated by that foolish faerie time and time again. But never again! We will see victory. The Space Faerie's reign has lasted far too long. And it is up to us to dethrone her.
But she is a sly one. She lets everyone believe that it is Fyora who is truly the Queen of Faeries. That is a lie! It is the Space Faerie who rules from the shadows. And it is the Space Faerie we must defeat.
Rally your armies, my brethren. With our forces combined we can finally end the Space Faerie's rule.
6. Conquer Neopia in the Name of Dr. Sloth
With the Space Faerie out of our way there is nothing stopping Dr. Sloth from taking her place. Celebrate! For our time has come. Our efforts helped to put Dr. Sloth in control, where he belongs. With him ruling over all of Neopia every Neopian will know of true happiness.
No more will we have to pretend that the Space Faerie is really on the side of good. Ha! What a laugh! Now the Neopian community as a whole will finally realize the truth—Dr. Sloth is the true hero and the Space Faerie is the villain. What a relief it will be for the truth to be out in the open. We won't have to live with that ridiculous lie anymore.
Join me, fellow Neopians, in bringing all of Neopia into the next era--the era of Dr. Sloth!