The most fantastic thing in the universe! Circulation: 189,271,873 Issue: 551 | 29th day of Relaxing, Y14
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Neopian Book Reviews: Book of Chemical Reactions

by dr_tomoe


Hello again, friends. If you've been wondering where I've been for the past few weeks, well, it's a long story. It turns out that Fyora wasn't exactly pleased with me telling people to go out and get a Fyora Voodoo Doll Handheld Plushie in the hopes that it might work and one would be able to assert control over the Faerie Queen. Now, in my defense, I did say that I wasn't saying it worked, and for the most part, it didn't. However, it turns out that there was one out there that really did work. And as luck would have it, a real one fell into the hands of Balthazar.

Needless to say, there were... a few issues that had to be addressed after that. Including Sabre-X showing up and making accusations of slander and falsehoods. Yeah, turns out he wasn't happy with me reporting his secrets either. And unless I wanted to spend the rest of my natural life in a Faerieland dungeon, I had to agree to her demands. So, that brings us to now. Yes, I am leaving out a few details, including the outrageous fees that I had to pay to the royal chiropractor, but those aren't important. What is important is that I shall now be doing a service to all Neopians out there, by doing reviews of various books that are out there, so you can decide if they are worth a read! It could have been worse, though. Sabre-X wanted to feed me to Fluffy.

So, without further ado, the first of a many part series, the Neopian Book Review!

The first book that we will be reviewing is a staple of anyone with even a passing interest in science, the Book of Chemical Reactions! Written in Year 12 by Dr Covalent Bond of the Virtupets Science Corp, the Book of Chemical Reactions is described as a way to learn about harmless and not-so-harmless chemical reactions. However, Dr. Bond had himself described it as a lifetime of research poured into a single book after examining the various chemicals and how they react in Neopia.

Dr Bond completed his work after a trip to Moltara, where the Moltaran Literary Association was more than pleased to publish his work. So, after gathering all of his notes, Dr Bond's chemical opus was finally released to the public. It has since gone through several reprints, and could often be seen at last year's Games Master Challenge as it was required reading material for Team Brains. By the end of that event, it would not be uncommon for a Neopian to have several copies of his book, as many of them sadly lost their copies to mud puddles and garbage cans by the savages on Team Brawn, but that's beside the point.

Now that you know some of the history to the Book of Chemical Reactions, you might be asking yourself, "What exactly is in the book, and why should I care? I've played Chemistry for Beginners before, I know all about reactions and molecules!" While that might be the case, Dr Bond explains that there are far more reactions out there then just the one that the Ixi Scientist allows the beginner students to work with.

For example, Dr Bond notes in Chapter three of the book, and I quote, "The Evil Toy of DOOM is a strange object. Upon first investigation, it appears to be a regular toy. However, if it is melted down in the intense heat of a Moltaran Magma Pit, it will become a strange, viscous black goo. From what I can tell, this black goo is a completely different element from what the toy itself is made out of. I haven't been able to pin down exactly what element it is yet, so I am naming it Doomium for the time being. Doomium has an interesting reaction when combined with Slothite. And by interesting, I mean explosive. Just a single drop of Doomium combined with liquid Slothite created a large enough explosion to blow up a large boulder. It should be noted that this should not be an easy process to replicate, as an Evil Toy of DOOM is incredibly hard to come by and liquid Slothite can only be found in the exhaust fumes of robot pets, so the risk of this knowledge getting out to the general public is quite slim."

However, in addition to several advanced reactions, Dr Bond also has a section for kids who might want to try experiments like this at home. In fact, he states that many of these can be done with easy to find household chemicals! But you have to remember the warning that he gives at the beginning, safety goggles are not included, so make sure you have eye protection before doing any sort of experiments.

Now, once safety gear is obtained, he explains how regular, everyday Blue Mouthwash can be mixed with some Krawk Bubble Bath to create a semi-solid mass. Dr Bond also states that adding any milk to the mixture will cause it to smoke and solidify, changes its color from blue to green, and have the same properties of a superball, able to bounce to a great height. Now, he does make a small note about what to do if you get this green mass on you. He notes that you should not get this green mass on you. Apparently, the reaction has a habit of occasionally having a negative reaction with a Neopet's skeleton, but the reaction only occurs if they have ever eaten anything from the Giant Omelette before. So members of the Gourmet Club should be a-okay.

Likewise, did you know if you take a cup of Borovan, add any color of eye shadow to it, and then heat it so that the liquid boils, the resulting steam will be the same color as the eye shadow that was added to it? Dr Bond notes that this harmless reaction is a great way to get kids interested in science, but also mentions to avoid using Green Eye Shadow. Apparently, the steam keeps forming into a skull shape when that happens, and then all the test subjects reported strange lumps, and then the next day the Neopian Hospital reported that there was a Scourgies epidemic going around. Dr Bond also makes to note that is entirely a coincidence and in no way does mixing Green Eye Shadow with Borovan create Scourgies.

While there are literally hundreds and hundreds of more chemical reactions that Dr Bond has recorded, those should be enough to help you decide whether or not you feel the book is worth your time reading. But if you need some other opinions, here are what several other famous Neopians have said about the Book of Chemical Reactions:

"I love it!" - Lab Ray Scientist

"Who would have thought that Achyfi juice could turn Petpets into soot?" - Lab Ray Kookith

"Who told Dr. Bond that he could write a book? He was supposed to be in his lab coming up with ways for me to conquer Neopia! When did he escape? Wait until I get my hands on him!" - Dr Sloth

As for me? I give the Book of Chemical Reactions a solid 8 out of 10. Until next time, Neopia, keep on reading!

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Altador Cup Craziness
Sometimes enthusiasm is disastrous.

by l_like_animals


Gaming Gone Wrong: Ghost Bopper
Ghosts have problems, too.

Idea by mikh26

by leedom111


One Act of Kindness
I paced through my room, pulling my own hair out at the stress. Not just for me, but for my Neopet.

by sakrathehedgie


Kelp: What You Need To Know
I stood outside for a moment, defeated. How was I going to get the exclusive interview I had promised?

by greavesbaby

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.