The inside scoop on Jelly W-argh! *choke* Circulation: 189,237,064 Issue: 547 | 1st day of Relaxing, Y14
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The Jelly Fiend Strikes Again!

by drama_freak4


For the fifth time this month, the mysterious masked villain known only as "The Jelly Fiend" has wrecked havoc upon our calm city. The only clues that forensic scientists have been able to gather is the obvious one: Jelly. However, after careful analysis and reanalysis, they've finally been able to confirm that this robber is either a Jelly Aisha or a Jelly Kougra. The Defenders aren't ruling out anything yet, as the suspect has only been seen once and identified as an Aisha, and are considering the fact that there could actually be two or more thieves. They've assured us that the situation is under control, and that they're doing all that they can to keep Neopia Central safe.

     Despite their tireless efforts, they would like a warning to be made to the public. Please be sure to always keep your doors and windows locked, and make sure that your valuables are locked away securely in your Safety Deposit Box. Never allow other Neopets to know of exactly what treasures lie in your Neohome, especially when it comes to expensive and luxurious items. Make sure to be hyper-vigilant and warn younger Neopets to remember not to talk to strangers. Report all suspicious activity and relay all clues about the suspect to the Defenders hotline. The hotline's number is 555-Defend, and operators are standing by 24/7 to receive calls.

     Back on the subject of today's attack, yet again a store specializing in jewelry was robbed. The suspect didn't appear to have a weapon, and instead used force and fear to get the patrons and staff to obey. The victims were the shop's owner, 60 year old Eliah Johns, and a couple shopping for a child's present, 26 year old Kia and 29 year old Leom Moonstone. No one was hurt, but nearly 80 million Neopoints worth of merchandise were taken, along with Mrs. Moonstone's diamond wedding ring and Red Moltite necklace.

     The suspect reportedly entered while Ms. Johns had her back to the door and was getting a necklace out of a display cabinet for the Moonstones to look at. Both Kia and Leom Moonstone both had their back to the door as well. The suspect behaved normally and didn't cause any sort of disturbance for a few minutes, in which time the couple looked at the necklace and Ms. Johns locked it back in the display case. When the owner turned her attention to the suspect, he began to shout at them to get down on the ground.

     All three obeyed, but Ms. Johns found a chance to press the emergency button beneath the nearest display case. It was later discovered that all security systems had been deactivated and thus the button didn't alert the Neopia Central Defenders Department. The suspect then proceeded to smash six display cases with a hammer that was later discovered at the scene. Mr. Moonstone attempted to reason with the suspect and pleaded for him to not harm his wife, but this only angered the suspect and caused him to sweep shards of broken glass from one of the display cases in the direction of the victims. The Moonstones suffered minor cuts, but were shaken by the outburst and none of the three dared speak again.

     The suspect took only select items from the display cases, specifically necklaces, bracelets, and rings designed for women, but threw the rest against a nearby wall. Most of what was thrown was destroyed, and will have to be melted down, or in the case of some of the jewels, be used in much more affordable pieces because of how small of shards they broke into. Mr. Moonstone's wedding ring, which had been in a cleaning machine, was later found among the broken merchandise on the floor.

     Most likely after stowing the jewelry away somewhere to make it easy to carry, the suspect smashed the cash register with the hammer and took all of its contents. The contents of the register - 5 million Neopoints - were found scattered in an alley near the store. After this the suspect politely bid the victims good day, cackled, and vanished. The three remained on the floor for some time, until a passerby who witnessed the robbery alerted the Defenders.

     All three victims agreed that the suspect was both blue and Jelly, but beyond that their physical descriptions were sketchy. Ms. Johns said all she saw was the "evil blue Jelly, a sick twisted grin, and a sleek black mask". She could not identify a species, gender, or approximate size for the suspect. The Moonstones, however, were a bit more helpful. Mrs. Moonstone reported the same mask, as well as a "petite, feminine figure - like a flower, real thin and long - and very dark blue eyes. She also had short hair - blue, as one could guess - that barely reached her neck. I'm positive she was an Aisha." Mr. Moonstone's description was similar to his wife's, but with much different detail: "I unfortunately did not get a very good look at the robber until we were lying on the ground. My first instinct was of course to protect my wife, but when we were lying there I got a chance to look. The suspect seemed very tall, but I'm sure that was the perspective, and had lady-like curves and a tail. No distinguishing marks that I could see, but you know something quite odd? She didn't have any shoes on. She probably stepped in glass, and that must have hurt, you know?"

     The witness who was outside told the Defenders that the suspect ran North and cut down an alley (the one that the cash register's contents were found scattered in), and said that he was laughing. They wish to remain anonymous, but said: "I swear, swear, swear it was a guy! He was real crazy lookin', lemme tell you! Big, wacked-out eyes, some freaky smile, and no shoes! He stepped in glass and laughed! It sure was a weird sight, let me tell you. He was touchin' everything he could, like he was markin' it up 'n sayin' "It was ME! Hahaha!" Kinda like he was gloatin' like he couldn't be caught. He was real fast, though, and was outta my sight in a blink."

     True to the witness' statement, the Defenders found a scattered trail of blue Jelly on the outside of the store as well as the walls of the alley. There was also bits of Jelly on the ground that had been scrapped off by the glass the suspect stepped in, as well as smeared on the walls in the store. On one of the walls the suspect wrote, in Jelly, a message to the defenders: "Think you're slick? You'll never catch me!" The Defenders assume that the suspect believes himself to be invincible and uncatchable, but they refuse to let this get them down. A spokesperson for the Neopia Central Defenders Department told the media that "The team is working day and night on these cases. The suspect will be found, and justice will be served. No one is giving up hope because we have a criminal with a large ego."

     The Defenders released a statement to the press saying that they still will not rule out the possibility of multiple suspects or the suspect being a Kougra. They would like to, once again, remind the residents of Neopia Central to stay on-guard but not to panic. "What the suspect wishes for the public to do is panic. They want everyone to be chewing on their nails in a closet and crying for their mommy. They want everyone to live in a constant state of fear, so this is exactly what should not be done. If the suspect believes they have control over the public, they may get more daring and commit greater crimes," the statement warns.

     If you have any information on the robberies or the suspect, please don't hesitate to contact the Defenders. You can even leave your tips anonymously, and are assured that the Defenders will station an officer at your home if you feel that you are unsafe if you share any clues you may have.

The End

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