White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 191,440,698 Issue: 544 | 11th day of Hunting, Y14
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An Unusual Story from a Kougra's Diary

by mr_holithon


Ok, first of all, I'd like to point out before our story begins that the following was going to be an article like I usually do. However, I noticed that what I was writing wasn't so much informative to the general Neopian public, but rather my Neopets and I going through a wild and unusually unusual experience involving Neoschool Textbooks, Mystery Island and ravenous flying Slorgs.

     So without further ado (As I feel my "ado" levels are rather high. What is 'ado' anyway?), here is Maureen's point of view on what had occurred in the not too long past... as in last month...

     * * * * *

      2nd Day in the Month of Eating - Shoyru Day

     You know I can't help but feel sorry for Shoyrus. I mean every year, their day is immensely overshadowed by whatever is dished out by the Neopian Staff on April Fool's Day the day before. So I considered it amiable (if somewhat impossible) when my sister Dorothie decided that she would try and throw a party in our house for EVERY Shoyru in Neopia.

          "Hmm..." Dorothie blissfully thought out loud, "I reckon this wall should be covered in lots of speckled hooks for the Shoyrus to hang their wings on after their long flying trip here so they can dance with all the upside down marshmallows hanging from the ceiling."

     I was going to point out the numerous mistakes with what she had just said, including not only the fact that a Shoyru's wings aren't detachable wearables, but also that it would not be possible to put just over 17,000,000 hooks for every Shoyru on a 15 foot long wall.

     But instead I just rolled my eyes as the bell for the front door rang.

     "That would probably be Yes Boy Ice Cream arriving early to prepare for their exclusive performance at the party tonight," exclaimed my owner, who was currently trying to untie Izzy from the knotted streamer and Wadjet mess they had gotten themselves into. "Could you answer the door, M?"

     I started walking to the door, I wondered how in Neopia my owner not only had connections with Yes Boy Ice Cream, but also convinced them to come and perform for a party at a random house in Brightvale. He told me it was because he rescued them from a near death experience with Lawyerbot's poetry, but I think he made that up. (Note: This took place before Lawyerbot Appreciation Day, and hence his poetry had not yet been released.)

     Anyway, I answered the door with the calmest demeanour I could muster for the Shoyru group, only to see there was no one air. I partially sighed in relief that Yes Boy Ice Cream didn't see my terrible hiding a crazy grin face, but also slightly confused at the fact no one was at the door.

     I looked around for anyone, then something on our doormat that caught my attention. After the doormat threw my attention back, I noticed a flaming scroll on the ground in front of me. I was about to pick it up, but then i felt the heat coming off of the scroll, and decided to grab some tongs instead.

     Unfortunately, as I was retrieving the tongs, another Neopet didn't have the same thought pattern as I did, and a high pitched yelp was heard. I ran to the door and found A-Zac running around clasping his hoof trying to find the closest patch of water he could find, which conveniently was a punch bowl that a fire Neopet was carrying towards the house. I had a surge of joy when I realised the now drenched Lutari was Isalinik, a close friend of mine.

     "Well," said a rather stunned Lutari, "I knew that the punch was a little sour, but I never thought I would see someone punch my punch."

     After a small giggle as I picked up the flaming scroll with the tongs, with a hug I said, "I'm glad you could make it, Nik. Sorry about the mess."

     "Glad I am here. Is there somewhere I could put this, and maybe get cleaned up?"

     "Here. I'll show you where the kitchen and the bathroom are."

     A rather irritated Uni called out, "Um, what about my 'mess'. I'm the one with the burning hand here!" Me and Nik laughed and continued inside as A-Zac stood with a huff, his hoof now placed in the birdbath in the middle of the yard.

      After placing the fruit bowl in the kitchen and leading Nik to the bathroom, I headed to my room with the flaming scroll pinched in-between the tongs. I had to figure out how to open this thing to find out why it was here and who it was for. That was when I remembered reading something about scrolls in my Neostudies. So I carefully placed the scroll on my desk, grabbed a textbook off the bookshelf and started searching for the correct chapter before it would poof away. Now really wasn't the time to go and buy new books.

     That was when Nik entered the room. "So why was A-Zac running around the yard in the first place?"

     Without looking away from my book, I answered, "He tried to pick up the flaming scroll, not taking into account that 'flaming' means 'on fire'."

     "You mean this one on the desk?"

     I panicked as I realised he was about to pick up the scroll himself. I went to yell at him to watch out, but as I turned, I saw that Nik was holding onto the scroll without any harm coming to him at all.

     "How are you not getting burnt?" I asked, puzzled.

     Nik smiled and said, "I'm painted Fire. All Fire Neopets are immune to burning."

     I breathed a sigh of relief. Our family had already soaked him in punch; I didn't want to make it worse by sending him to the hospital. Then it dawned on me.

     "Hey, Nik. Can you do me a favour?"

     "Anything. Just name it."

     "Could you open up the scroll so that I could read it? That scroll was just sitting on our front porch and I want to find what it contains."

     Nik contently opened the scroll. But before we could read it, Dorothie burst in exclaiming, "MAUREEN! We have run out of garden gnomes! Where are they going to eat cake!?!"

     As we jumped in the air in shock, Nik accidently turned to the last page of the scroll (somehow) and in a red puff of smoke, the scroll had disappeared.

     "Ooo! I didn't know we were going to have fireworks, Maureen!"

     I banged my head against the desk. Five times. Nik started apologizing to me.

     "I didn't know your sister was going to randomly appear out of nowhere."

     "Yeah, she does that," I answered with a sigh, "Anyway, no need to apologize. It wasn't your fault."

     "Oh well," exclaimed Dorothie, "that flaming scroll with a Coconut imprint was probably something unimportant. Anyway, Garden Gnomes???"

     "*sigh* The garden gnomes are under the – wait a sec. What did you just say?"

     "Garden Gnomes are needed for when the Shoyru's legs become tired and-"

     "No no no, before that. Something about a Coconut imprint?"

     "There was an imprint of a coconut with flames coming out of its eyes that would stare straight into your soul, but that's not important now. Gnomes are what's important now."

     "Did someone just say something about a flaming coconut?"

     My owner poked his head into the room at Dorothie's comment, with a look of shock on his face. This concerned me.

     "Why is that so concerning?" I asked.

     "Ok. Listen to me very carefully. Maureen, Nik, Dorothie; the three of you must go to Mystery Island on the 20th Day of Eating. At 12:43p.m. NST, you must stand underneath the nose of the middle Tiki statue at the Rock Pools. At this time, you must stand on one leg and cluck like a Weewoo five times. It must be five times otherwise your contact won't get the signal. He will give you further instructions."

     We were all taken aback by the overload of information my owner had just gave us. Well, Nik and I were taken aback. Dory answered by asking where the Gnomes were. And with that, my owner just left the room as if nothing happened.

     I just looked at Nik. We knew that we were both thinking of the same thing. What mess had we just gotten into?

     That was when what seemed like an endless amount of Shoyrus started to arrive in huge numbers for the party. Obviously they heard Yes Boy Ice Cream was coming.

     "OK, everyone," we heard Dory yell out, "I'm only going to ask this one more time. WHERE ARE THE GARDEN GNOMES!?!"

     15th Day in the Month of Eating

     Hmm. Ravenous Flying Slorgs. Who knew?

      20th Day in the Month of Eating – 12:40pm

     It was the day after Lutari Day. The neopets of Mystery Island were cleaning up to make room for the festivities for Kougra Day in two days. But I was still trying to comprehend what my owner had told me eighteen days ago. What was so important about that flaming scroll that had my owner quivering in his boots that afternoon?

     Well, either way, Dory, Nik and I were all here under the nose of the Tiki idol at the Rock Pool, three minutes away from finding out what's going on and what we had done so that we had to be here.

     "So what was it that we had to do again?" Nik asked.

     "It's easy. All we have to do is stand on one leg and cluck like a Weewoo five times."

     "Yeah, about that. What exactly does a Weewoo's cluck sound like?"

     Dorothie answered this time, "Well, duh! Who DOESN'T know how to cluck like a Weewoo? I do it every day to scare away the Meepits from taking away my slippers for their Negg storing system!"

     ...I don't even want to know where that is going...

     "So Dorothie," I asked, "it's ten seconds to 12:43pm. Perhaps you should lead the way and we will join you?"

     She saluted as she seemingly prepared to cluck by squatting to the ground like a bird. Nik and I sighed and followed suit. I started the countdown.







     We were slightly baffled at what had just come out of Dorothie's mouth. I'm pretty sure I have never heard ANY Petpet make that noise, let alone a Weewoo. But we had to go along.


     We did this three more times. Then there was absolute silence. We looked left and right for any shadowy figures. Nothing. I was starting to wonder if we had missed our queue.

     That was when out of nowhere, we became covered in Tchea Fruit Paste and Pillows.

     After picking ourselves up from this unusual random event, we started to hear laughing coming from above us. As I looked up, I saw A-Zac, Izzy and my owner on top of the Tiki idol, almost falling off from laughter.

     "Yo-you should have seen your faces!" screamed A-Zac, almost out of breath from laughing so hard. "Price! Less!"

     I was baffled. "What's going on?"

     My owner answered, "Isn't it obvious! This whole thing was just one big Practical Joke! APRIL FOOLS!"

     That was when Dorothie started to laugh with them. However, my eye started twitching as I tried to hide my irritation.

     "April Fools? You realise that only lasts for one day. Today is a whole twenty DAYS after April Fools!"

     "So? It's still April, and I had forgotten to do one on April 1st, so I decided to do it now instead!"

     At this point Nik joined in the laughter. But my irritation was shifting into frustration.

     "So the flaming scroll was just a ruse to get me for an April Fools prank that wasn't even on April Fool's Day??"

     "Oh, the scroll? Yeah, I have no idea what that was for. Maybe it was a plot for Sloth to take over Mystery Island or something?"

     This was when smoke started coming out of my ears. I was getting prepared to scratch my owner's face off, but then I noticed how everyone else was rolling on the ground around me laughing until tears were coming out of their eyes. Then I started to smile. Then grin. And finally I started bursting into laughter.

     If there was anything I had learnt from today, it was that it doesn't matter what chaos and confusion is happening in my world that is getting me down. As long as I am smiling and having fun in Neopia with friends and family, I can get through anything. Also that there is apparently such a thing as Tchea paste.

     * * * * *

     Meanwhile, at the Virtupets Space Station, Sloth was staring at a screen monitoring the events of Mystery Island.

     "Blast it! Those Neopians have somehow destroyed my Flaming Scroll containing my plans on taking over Mystery Island. My plans have been ruined!"

     But after seeing the Neopians in fits of laughter at the Rock Pool, witnesses say that a smirk appeared on his face.

The End

I'd like to thank krissy_08 for allowing me to have Isalinik in this story. And this is also my first Short Story!!!

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