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Lazy Yet Creative Ways to Get Rich


by elementdragongirl

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You've probably sat at a store for half an hour before, gaping at some new paintbrush or something you can't buy. You've tried playing games but... you just don't have that kind of time. And you're not good at any games. You'd beg, but then you'd get reported. So here you are, stuck at 0 neopoints, knowing you'd never be able to afford that paint brush.

Well, have no fear! After reading this article, you'll have all the knowledge you need to get millions of neopoints! But it can't be that simple, right? Wrong! Just follow the steps in this guide exactly and I promise you'll be a millionaire in no time!

1. Build a Colour Pool

"What do you mean, build a colour pool?" you ask. Well, you know about the Magma Pool, Rainbow Fountain, and Rainbow Pool, right? All you need for this is some water, and a shovel. Dig a really deep hole in the ground and fill it with water. Then, tell everyone it has the chance of changing your pet's colour to something expensive like Darigan, Faerie, Desert, or Royal. Charge everyone 1,000 neopoints to bathe their neopets in the pool, reminding them there's a small chance their colour will change. Sure, 1,000 neopoints doesn't sound like much, but imagine hundreds of Neopians coming to your new "pool" every day. People may realize your pool is a fraud, but do not fear! From all the neopoints you get, you will soon be able to afford something, maybe a faerie paint brush. Buy one and put it in the pool, causing pets to actually change colour. I know that might not have been the brush you wanted, and seem like a waste of neopoints, but having proof it works, even more Neopians will visit daily. Yes, eventually you'll be getting a million a day!

2. Throw things at people

"Throw things at people?!" you exclaim. "What sort of guide is this?!" But just listen for once! Jeez. Anyway, yes, throw stuff at people. Just buy all the 1 neopoint junk you can get, and fling it at any random person. They'll get mad, walk up to you, and question your actions. Tell them "I'll stop throwing things at you if you give me 10,000 neopoints." If they don't comply, keep throwing junk at them until they give you neopoints. Sure, your hands might get dirty, but you'll be able to clean them in whatever expensive sink you want to buy. The best part is that this is technically a random event so their neopoints can go negative. Also, if you don't have it already, you can get the Rubbish Avatar. You won't have to spend much, and there are tons of people giving out junk for free. This requires some work, but is worth it in the end. Trust me.

3. Wear a crown

WAIT! Don't say anything yet! I'll explain! The best crown to get is a paper one, homemade. You'll probably not want to spend too much money. Put the crown on your head and go around a ruler-less city like Neopia Central. Neopia Central has plenty of people, so that's probably the best place to go. Proclaim yourself Queen/King of this land, by default of course since no one's done it before. Tell everyone there that they need to give you tax, and send the Tax Beast upon all the Neopians in the area. Better yet, send the ANGRY Tax Beast. He'll give you even more. Also, make a bunch of rules forcing your wealth even further. You can get creative here. If TNT comes, saying you broke the rules in some way, send the citizens of Neopia Central or whatever land you chose after TNT. They'll have to do what you say, since you're the ruler.

4. Eat tons of apples

"Alright," you say, "this guide is completely insane." Yes, it is, but haven't I told you not to speak up and just listen? Apples are cheap, especially the ones that have had a bite taken out of them. So buy those and eat as many as possible. Make sure you do this in a public place. People will notice you, and soon you'll have a crowd of people around you. These people will cheer you on, seeing you've probably broken a record, and then you can make your move. Once you run out of apples, they'll go get more apples for you. When they bring you apples, when you come to pick them up, tie their shoelaces together. Once they leave, they'll all trip, and then you can steal their neopoints! Hopefully they hit their heads hard enough so you can convince them they were robbed by the Meerca brothers. Trust me, some Neopians have a LOT of money.

5. Shave your pets

"So I think this---" BE QUIET!! Anyway, shave your pets. Soon you will have piles and piles of fur. Pile up the fur into big, scary monsters. Control the monsters through a series of strings and parade them through Neopia. People will gasp in shock and horror, rush to the boards and wonder what is happening. Now tell everyone it's a second Neoapocalypse and they need to put all their items and neopoints into a big, safe Deposit Box. It's the only way to be safe from the monsters! Some will be traumatized from the last Neoapocalypse and fall for it. Of course, not all people will believe you, but then set up the monsters near the Neopian Bank, where all the Safety Deposit Boxes are. People will freak out, and put everything in your "Deposit Box", which will really be your Neohome. Now, if someone comes saying you "stole" everything, tell them you didn't. If you did, it would all be in your inventory or Safety Deposit Box, not Neohome, right?!

6. Go to Edna's Tower

"Edna? But won't her quests make me lose neopoints?" No, don't do her quests. Instead, ask her for magic lessons. I mean, I don't even have to explain much here. You'll be able to make neopoints appear! No, you won't be a cheap magician, you'll ACTUALLY eventually be able to make a neopoint potion. Alright, I guess this one requires some work, and isn't exactly lazy, but you should be able to manage.

7. Conquer all the Jelly

Alright, for this one you have to buy a bunch of jelly items. Then, you go to Jelly World, which is located---

BZZAAP!

Random Person: Sorry, we had to do that for your protection. Move along.

 
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