An April Fools Addict
It's very funny but three hundred and sixty-four days of the year (and an extra one on leap years) I'm a very sensible, ordinary person. I feed my pets, watch the stock market, go shopping. But for some reason on April Fools Day I tend to go a bit mad. I just love a day where I'm free to trick and joke. I was never very extreme when I was younger. It was only when my Usul, Kaelsie first came to live with me that I began to get really into it. It's just that Kaelsie is such a funny little pet. Anybody with an Usul knows they tend towards (how can I say this nicely?) vanity. I hope you won't think I'm cruel, but I just could never resist teasing her because she's so proud and so cheeky. I'm really quite lucky, though, because she's the perfect victim. No matter how great my prank is each year, she's always forgotten about it the next time April 1st rolls around. She's quite absent-minded and rarely pays attention to the date. Most of my pranks I plan out months in advance, and if I do say so myself my efforts are quite good. Here are my top five...
5. This one was quite a while ago, when Kaelsie was still an ordinary yellow Usul. I was at the shops all morning and when I came home I called her downstairs. 'Kaelsie!' I said. 'I have a present for you!' She bounded down the stairs, taking them two at a time. In the kitchen I held my hands behind my back and made her try and guess what her present was. 'Now I wasn't planning on getting you this, but I was really lucky and managed to get it cheap at the auction house,' I told her. She held her hands out impatiently and I put the brush-shaped package into her hands. She grinned and hugged it to her chest, then very carefully teased the wrapping paper off. One little corner revealed island flowers and then, impatient with excitement, she ripped the rest of the paper off. She squealed, thinking it was an island paint brush. 'I can't believe it!' she cried, dancing around the kitchen. 'I'll look amazing!'
'I know, right? Carrying around your very own island brush plushie!' I said. 'APRIL FOOLS!'
4. Kaelsie came downstairs in her pyjamas one April Fools Day. 'Hi, Mum,' she said cheerily. My head sprang up and I looked wildly from side to side. 'Kaelsie?' I said. 'Where are you?'
She laughed. 'I'm right here!' She waved a hand in front of my face. I ignored it completely.
'Where?' I said.
'Mum, what are you talking about? I'm beside the fridge.' She sounded worried now. I stuck a hand out and felt about blindly. When I touched her fur I let out a squeak and withdrew my hand. 'What's wrong? Can't you see me?!' she cried.
'No! Oh... it must've been a random event in the night! You're invisible! What will we do?'
Kaelsie ran to the mirror in the hall but I was prepared for that. I told of course she could see herself, but nobody else would be able to.
I told her I'd source a basic paint brush for her in the auctions and we'd start saving for another royal paint brush. We walked into Neopia Central and the whole way I could see her acting funny. She kept doing funny little jumps or picking up pebbles and throwing them at unwitting passersby, thinking they couldn't see her. It was very hard not to laugh. I decided to take her to the bakery, to 'get a snack'. As I queued I saw her hand sneak out and slip a pastry into her pocket. She was obviously taking advantage of the whole invisible situation. I watched as the breadmaster strode up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. 'Little girl, put that pastry back,' he said in a firm voice. She squealed. 'What? B-b-but I'm invisible! You can't see me!' she said. He frowned. 'You look like a royal Usul to me,' he said.
'Mum! You said I was invisible!' Kaelsie turned to me.
I squinted at her. 'Hmm, maybe it was just my eyesight.' I couldn't help but grin. 'APRIL FOOLS!'
3. This is another one from before Kaelsie was painted, a year where I had nothing planned but I just took advantage of a lucky situation. She and I were playing Cheat! and as we waited for the next game to start a water faerie appeared before us. She requested a book and said she would reward us if we got it for her. When she left, I turned to Kaelsie. 'Do you know who that was?' I asked. She shook her head. 'That was the fountain faerie!' I said. Kaelsie lit up and clapped her hands. Around that time she harboured a not-so-secret desire to be painted usuki.
Later that day we journeyed to Faerieland and found the water faerie at the Healing Springs, not that Kaelsie knew that's what they were called. No sooner had she shoved the book into the faerie's hands than she ran and plunged into the water. She came up spitting, all her clothes sopping wet. 'How do I look?' she cried, climbing out. 'Is there a mirror?' The faerie was looking perplexed but produced a handheld mirror. Kaelsie frowned. 'That's not what usukis look like,' she said, looking at herself.
'That's what very silly usukis look like,' I said. 'APRIL FOOLS!'
2. This one involved a little outside help, but it was definitely worth it. Kaelsie and I were in the grooming parlour, her favourite place. 'I need to go to the bank, but I'll be back soon, alright? Just look around here for a while,' I said. She nodded without even looking at me, engrossed in a selection of perfume. I went outside to where I had arranged to meet Sam, the pet of a good friend of mine. He was a baby bruce. 'Everything going to plan?' he said. I nodded and he walked into the shop with his 'gun' held high. I followed and stood behind a display stand, watching as he approached her. 'Boochi!' she cried. 'No! Please don't shoot – I'm royal! I don't want to be baby.' Sam only laughed and aimed. She screamed and ran straight out of the shop with him fast behind her. He chased her all around the bazaar, jumping out just when she thought she'd escaped him. I found her standing by a cluster of bushes, panting hard. Sam sprang out from behind the bushes. 'Laurann don't let him shoot!' she cried, cowering behind me.
'Kaelsie, you do realise he's holding a hairdryer, right?' I said. 'APRIL FOOlS!'
1. Now this one may be a bit cruel, I wouldn't play it on a sensitive pet, but I still maintain it was hilarious. Last year, while Kaelsie slept on March 31st, I packed a suitcase of her clothes, plushies and a few snacks. I composed myself before I woke her up. 'We're just going for a walk,' I said to her, but I looked at her with pitying eyes and she started to get nervous. Together we walked into Neopia Central. She kept glancing at the suitcase but didn't say anything. As we neared the pound she stopped in her tracks. 'No! Not there!' she cried. 'I know I don't clean my room enough, but I'll start soon! I promise!' I looked away from her. 'We just need a little break from one another,' I said. 'I'll visit you all the time... ' We approached the front door and her steps got slower and slower... Then I veered off and she followed me, bewildered, to the Neolodge. 'Enjoy your stay at the AstroVilla!' I said, handing her the suitcase. 'APRIL FOOLS!'
Well, those are my misdeeds laid out before you. Even Kaelsie finds them funny when we retell the stories. It's harder and harder to get her to fall for a trick. The most important thing for playing a good prank is to play them early in the day, when your pet is still sleepy and more easily confused. I'd also recommend playing them on March 31st or April 2nd, to really catch your pet off guard. Other than that, just be creative and have fun! Now before I leave off, I must write a little note to Kaelsie, who I know is reading this article today. Darling, I'm sure you've figured it out by now, but you know the way I told you I'd sent in an article about how much I love you and how you are the most beautiful Usul I've ever known? ... APRIL FOOLS!