Enter the Snowflake's lair... Circulation: 188,914,574 Issue: 538 | 30th day of Running, Y14
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by disgracers


As you walk along Neopia, you may notice a few things and such. Like how they have a whole game donated to cheese called 'Cheeseroller' and how you can buy wonderful cheese from the shops around town. See, cheese is a big part of Neopia as well the neopets. Cheese can raise your hunger and make neopets happy. Cheese has to be part of your meal for a healthy diet.

If you are one of the people who hate cheese, you better open your eyes! Cheese is wonderful and all around us. Those beautiful Kaus make us this cheese and every piece is a work of art!

There are many cheeses in Neopia, like spicy juppie cheese and quadruple fudge cheese. Some cheeses you can only earn from 'Cheeseroller'. Cheeseroller is a fun game that earns you neopoints, a spiffy avatar (if you are lucky enough), and the best of all, *drumroll*, CHEESE!!!!! When you complete the cheese roller track in under a minute (60 seconds) you get to keep the cheese you rolled!

A few tips to get your cheesy avatar (in a good way), I recommend buying the Quadruple Fudge Cheese and only diving left. I got the avatar on the third time! This is not the solution, but many people have been earning the avatar this way! And for the love of cheese, how could I not tell you that?

There are many cheese items in Neopia, in fact, there are 289! There is cheese pizza, dung cheese, the mysterious GOLDEN cheese, fishy cheese, cheese couches, and much more! I mean really, neopets should create Cheese World! Just remember, cheese is in all of us!

The beautiful Kaus create this cheese, in many shapes and colours! Each cheese that a Kau creates can take months at a time. First the Kaus make the substance that is the main flavor of cheese. Then the Kaus purify the cheese in a sacred river. After, each Kau refrigerates the cheese for three days. Now, they let the cheese age for a random amount of time. Finally, the cheese is ready for other neopets to enjoy!

Cheese gets its colour from the Kau that creates it. If the Kau has a purple colour, then the cheese will probably be a Purple Spotted Cheese or a Fragrant Ummagcheese. But know you must be wondering about the mysterious and legendary SHINY GOLDEN CHEESE! No one knows were this cheese is created or by whom, but there are many legends about this special cheese. One is about a sacred golden Kau, the last of its kind, living in a small subsection of Kau Village. It created cheese by hand and gave it to the neopets to help them survive. After the first cheese, the golden cheese, other Kaus followed her steps and created cheese as well. This is only a legend, so other neopets are not sure of it's truth.

No one knows how Kaus created the first cheese or who gave them the idea. The Mystery Island folks think it's because of the Golden Kau. "The folks who believe in the Golden Kau, are a bucket of nuts. The cheese making ability is a natural instinct to Kaus. There never was a sacred Golden Kau, it's just a myth. If you have sense, you will believe that cheese making is just a special instinct that Kaus know. " says cheeseologist Maya Techo Firk. "I think that had cheese no beginning and no end. Just like the apple tree, people think Johnny AppleKau planted the first apple tree, but that's also just a myth." Now to what the Mystery Island folks had to say about this, "Maya don't understand. Ogga cheese created by Golden Kau. Science is junk. Cheese made by Kau. Maya is dumb." (translated from their ancient island language) Kaus and Island Natives meet together and pray about the Golden Kau, as they both believe in it.

"Cheese has many uses, not just for eating," says a red Skeith. "I think cheese is very special and we should take that into consideration." Cheese does have many uses, like eating, entertainment, rolling, sculpting, mashing, ect. The Skeith is right; cheese does need to be taken more seriously. Neopets take cheese for granted. They don't understand it's true worth.

The Golden Cheese, made by the supposedly Golden Kau, is very rare. Many cheeses are rare, but this cheese goes beyond. It costs a hefty amount of neopoints, because from time to time the Kaus 'sense the Golden Kau' when they are creating their cheese. When they feel this, their cheese turns golden. This doesn't happen very often though. "It felt like a cool breeze across the plains. I could her a soft mooing voice, it sounded pleasant and nice. I watched before my eyes as my cheese, which is usually green, turn a golden yellow colour." says a local cheese making Kau. "I think again the 'Golden Kau' is very much a myth. I doubt that the Kaus were telling the truth. They must have added food colouring. There is no proof of a Golden Kau," says cheeseologist Maya Techo Firk.

Kaus can devote their lives to two things: Searching for the Golden Kau or making cheese. Most Kaus choose the path of making cheese. The life of making cheese is simple and easy. They make a decent amount of neopoints, some farm land, a nice house, and get to eat cheese and sculpt it! But for those who want to find the Golden Kau, they take that path. It is a hard life and earn little to no neopoints. Kaus who take this path are often never seen again. They always travel and search locations connected to Kau Village (which was destroyed by Lutaris) and cheese. Only one explorer has come close to finding the Golden Kau. Most have not even found any evidence or just never reported it.

Cheese has a long history that has to do with myths, Golden Kaus, Cheese Making, Kaus, Critics, Villages, and Natives. Each cheese is a work of art and should never be shunned. Cheese is special and we should all respect it. You will never be able to look at cheese the same way.

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